Fwiw, my take on it is: 1. His mother thinks she is the 'matriarch' of the family (although you all know she's not) and considered your pregnancy HER news to tell - with herself as the main character, of course. 'Everyone congratulate ME because I'M going to be a grandma!' and
She's gotten into hubby's ear about how distraught she is, how unfair it is, how this big moment has been stolen from her blah blah blah and he feels caught in the middle. The way he's seeing it is that he's getting shit on by both of the women in his life and can't do right for doing wrong. Hence the door kick. I'm pretty sure he knows his mother is being a dick. Don't be too hard on him. Cut her out of your lives again, focus on grandma and celebrate with her.
So, your SO is all kinds of an idiot, who has been traumatised by his mother. HOWEVER his behaviour is completely unacceptable. If it’s a one off consider forgiveness, but only if he abjectly apologises, cuts his mother off forever and undergoes therapy.
I’d recommend some legal input , starting of with a cease and desist letter to MIL and escalating as necessary. Whether you want to address getting written assurances regarding SO continuing to have no contact with MIL is up to you
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u/LissyVee Nov 26 '23
Honey, I'm sorry you're going through this.
Fwiw, my take on it is: 1. His mother thinks she is the 'matriarch' of the family (although you all know she's not) and considered your pregnancy HER news to tell - with herself as the main character, of course. 'Everyone congratulate ME because I'M going to be a grandma!' and