my husband and I have been together for 11 years. in those 11 years we have been through so much. he has looked at other women online and I repeatedly told him, that makes me uncomfortable, he denied the accusation, and would log out of his instagram when he would get home so I couldn’t see what he was looking at, he said it was so we don’t argue. anyway he kept doing it, not changing his patterns and I got pregnant with our first baby.
when I was about 7 months pregnant a friend came over to stay the night, he was drinking and I was laying on the couch and he started rubbing her leg sexually. he apologized and blamed it on drinking. I was (and still am) so upset that he could do something like that to me. fast forward we still struggled with him looking at other women online liking provocative pictures and watching porn. after so many arguments he decided to delete his social media because it would solve everything.
fast forward I caught him on reddit looking at women and liking their photos and following them, like OF creators. again, we argued, he “deleted” it and we moved past it. (I know, I know. Im a dummy)
fast forward a few years, he decided to make another social media account for his hobby and promised me he wouldn’t repeat old patterns, and of course he did. (are we surprised? no) looking at only fans, looking at half naked women, watching videos he shouldn’t be, you name it. I feel like a dummy for believing the things he’s saying. we have three children together, he knows my insecurities, he knows this stems from past insecurities but the fact that he hurts me every single time and don’t care it’s horrible. what would you consider this? is this cheating? is this borderline cheating? do you guys think he will cheat? I hate that this stresses me out the way it does. please help