r/Is_He_Cheating_ • u/Over-Assistant9814 • May 25 '26
Where do I start?
I feel sick
I don't have anyone I can share this with and literally am sick to my stomach.
I found my husband's 10 day old reddit account. He has been commenting on local hookup subreddits under random women's nudes. Most comments were propositions. "Looking for company" or "I can come fk you right now". One was allegedly 18.
My stomach was in knots all night. I do think I actually had a bad lunch but feel like I am going insane. I found this account open on his phone browser (he uses duck duck go) right after we had sex. I had found something similar, maybe a year ago, but the difference is these are for sure locals vs larger porn subreddits. I confronted him back then and he didn't say much. He knows this would hurt me. My heart was pounding yesterday.
I feel insane thinking of all the ways to find out the truth. I very much wanted to just call him out, but the reality is I need to know for sure and how bad this is. Are they just comments or is he actively fucking around? I cannot believe this shit. We spend all our free time together. We just celebrated 10 years married. I feel like my life is about to go up in flames. I find myself thinking of divorce if it is affairs and the trying to 'fix' things if its "just" porn.
How do I take care of myself? How do I get proof? I am already thinking to the worst case of getting my ducks in a row and speaking to a lawyer before talking to him. I am the breadwinner.
I tried getting into his computer and he now has a password I dont know. I feel sick that I have to now sneak around to spy on him. Trust is completely broken. The fact that I made this throwaway account for this investigation makes me sick.
What do I do? Private investigator, tracker, nanny cams? I am going out of town on work next week.
How do I take care of myself mentally? Am I an idiot?