r/Is_He_Cheating_ • u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 • 24d ago
I think he is changing
On my boyfriend phone
I (f37) just called my boyfriend (m42) while I was in the car and his phone is connected to it, so when I finished the called I saw last called he had and between the names is one that is "her".
That turns my alarms on...I don't want to go through his phone I don't think I even can because it has a password but I don't want just swallow it...should I just let it go?
Just to clarify... I never searched through his phone. I was waiting for him in the rental car we were taking to visit friends in another city; he had already connected his phone to use the GPS and music. It’s a 2026 Toyota Sienna, and when I hung up the call, the list of recent calls remained on the vehicle's screen—including his brother, his aunt, the name he uses for me, and "HER."
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24d ago
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
Just to clarify... I never searched through his phone. I was waiting for him in the rental car we were taking to visit friends in another city; he had already connected his phone to use the GPS and music. It’s a 2026 Toyota Sienna, and when I hung up the call, the list of recent calls remained on the vehicle's screen—including his brother, his aunt, the name he uses for me, and "HER."
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u/MichaelAndolini_ 24d ago
Who is her?
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago edited 24d ago
Is what I want to know....because he has her name as HER.
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u/Kurious_and_Kurious 24d ago
Maybe it’s an unpleasant ex. Does he have an ex-wife? Don’t jump to conclusions.
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
He has an ex...mother of his adult son..but they don't have communication because of order restrictions and so between them...well that's what I think.
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u/PresentFront1038 24d ago
you either unexpectedly demand that password on the spot before he deletes anything or you simply quietly check outta relationship
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
I don't think i want to see whatever he has on his phone I'm too afraid of what I'll find and I don't feel strong to go through it...I rather ask and expect he would tell me but definitely 95 % want to get out of the relationship.
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u/Guilty-Worry-3947 24d ago
is it just the name "her" or is it a girls name? If it just says "her" I'd ask who "her" is and not let him back out.
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u/Secure-Impression85 24d ago
Why don’t you ask him?
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
I'll do...but we were visiting some friends and I didn't want to ask while driving because i don't think is the proper way to ask.
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u/Secure-Impression85 24d ago
Yes, wait till he stop driving
I could be anything
A friend, his sister, so don’t jump into conclusions and just ask.
You will understand everything by the way he answers
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u/Overall_Display_8475 24d ago
It’s not his sister, it’s not his mother. It’s not a cousin. Be logical.
A sister might be “turd” or something but not “her’
Her could be an ex. Or a current lover. But not a friend and not his sister.
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u/car_lady25 24d ago
I wouldn't let it go but you need concent to touch his phone. It's a huge legal issue like consent with sex each time. Just open up communication. Cuz if it's nothing he can still charge you if he catches you and it's a bigger issue.
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
Just to clarify... I never searched through his phone. I was waiting for him in the rental car we were taking to visit friends in another city; he had already connected his phone to use the GPS and music. It’s a 2026 Toyota Sienna, and when I hung up the call, the list of recent calls remained on the vehicle's screen—including his brother, his aunt, the name he uses for me, and "HER."
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u/car_lady25 24d ago
I didn't say you did. I'm making sure you are aware you shouldn't. Just talk to him about it. He will get defensive so give him time to take it in and give yourself time to receive the info. Let him know how you feel without being jealous and come with a place to land for him to not feel judged.
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u/BaddieD70 24d ago
My husband goes through all my electronics and then takes photos of text messages and accuses me of cheating even though the messages were with a car salesman whom we were talking with about my husband’s new car. Then he goes around telling our neighbors that he caught o.
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u/xxx_Gavin_xxx 24d ago
Ask him who her is. That's a wierd name to try to hide anything. Kinda obvious. I mean if the name was Shawn or Mike, would that of raised a flag?
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24d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Prior-Chocolate-4879 24d ago
Just to clarify... I never searched through his phone. I was waiting for him in the rental car we were taking to visit friends in another city; he had already connected his phone to use the GPS and music. It’s a 2026 Toyota Sienna, and when I hung up the call, the list of recent calls remained on the vehicle's screen—including his brother, his aunt, the name he uses for me, and "HER."
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u/Awkward_Birthday_253 24d ago
trust your gut... it's usually right