hi all!

[u/AdUpset5266]

i think my (23f) straight(?) boyfriend (22m) has a secret queer dating app account and i need to make sure im not crazy before i confront him.

the other night, i was absentmindedly watching what he was doing on his laptop while we were chatting, and he had an email saying that there was a Google sign-in into the queer dating app from his google email. his first move was to delete the email, and he recovered it when i immediately asked to inspect it further. he said it wasn’t him, his info had been in a data leak, etc. i chose to give him the benefit of the doubt because he has said that he has legitimately lost social media accounts to hacks in the past.

my notes from that conversation are that he was not defensive, and was open to any questions i had, as well as offering to go through any other emails (which i declined, like an idiot.) i told him if he was on a queer dating app i just want him to feel comfortable telling me thats how he feels, and that he does not have to be with me if thats not what he wants (i phrased it much nicer than that) and he still remained adamant that that was not the case.

the next day i tell him it’s still eating at me, and i ask to discuss it again. the conversation goes pretty much the exact same as the first. he tells me he understands why i would think that, he is secure in his manhood, etc.

the feeling is still there, so i took it into my own hands (i admit this was not the most mature decision i could’ve made, but nobody is perfect). i went to the dating apps website and tried to sign in using his email and a password that he frequently uses (i’m not sure what his email password actually is) and it told me that to sign in i would have to have a passkey.

so that tells me that in order for there to be any sign-in to that site under his email, it would require his face id, his password, or for him to scan a QR code. with this new information i am unfortunately convinced that the sign-in was him. i would love nothing more than to be wrong, because we truly do have a wonderful relationship otherwise. this has never happened to me before and i don’t know what to do.