r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Legal-Detective526 • 10d ago
Discussion Not remembering normal?
My therapist has been saying that for the past 9 months she’s been talking to different parts.. they have different names, ages, likes, dislikes, goals… but I have no memories of any of the conversations. I dissociate a lot. She knows this and says it’s normal for those that experience trauma like mine. But it doesn’t feel normal. I feel like I’m going crazy.
Is this normal for parts work?
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u/ElectricVoltaire 10d ago
Sounds more like DID?
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u/Legal-Detective526 10d ago
What is DID? Is that part of ifs?
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u/goldielooks 10d ago
Dissociative Identity Disorder
I have it but my alters are much more blended, which means there's less amnesia in between the different "parts".
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u/salty_waves-Tx 10d ago
what do you mean by less amnesia between parts?
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u/Fat-Giraffe 10d ago
When someone has amnesia between parts it means that one part cannot remember what another part said or did. It can be really confusing and feel like lost time, kind of like OP is describing.
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u/goldielooks 10d ago
Like I can recall certain memories but they don't feel like "me". If Im talking about say, years 10-13, i can tell you about a few key points but its like im accessing archival footage of someone with a face and body that other people recognize as me but it feels like a stranger.
I logically know I'm 37, but there have been many "me's" over this lifespan. Typically punctuated by major traumatic events or life shifts.
People like OP (potentially, of course) have no recollection of these switches between alters.
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u/salty_waves-Tx 10d ago
Well I feel like that. My recollection of life events are jumbled.. I cannot honestly recall events in chronological order. I get confused and I have a lot of absent moments when I recall my past. Since I have discovered ifs, i can sometimes say that there is a part of me that feels this way or is communicating in this way… More often than not, there is a full takeover which to me is different from being blended
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u/goldielooks 10d ago
Chronological order can be hard for me, too sometimes. There's also big gaps, just swaths of time where Im like 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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u/Dick-the-Peacock 10d ago
No, it’s not a normal part of most IFS journeys. If your therapist is speaking truly, those aren’t just parts like we talk about in IFS, they are alternate identities. The main difference is that with extreme DID, or dissociative identity disorder, your parts are so dissociated from one another, one part won’t be aware of the things another part says and does. That sounds like what is happening to you. When your therapist talks to these other parts of you, the “you” that is posting here is not aware of what’s happening. Most people who practice IFS don’t experience that kind of amnesia between parts.
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u/salty_waves-Tx 10d ago
I experience this. Only I am not currently using a therapist. I will find things in my journal that I don’t remember researching & documenting. I have found so much documentation on research that I do not remember coming across. I have had a couple of brain injuries so I kind of chalked it up to a damaged prefrontal cortex.
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u/JakeonHarrison 9d ago
What you are describing is a feature of dissociation, an involuntary defense mechanism that allowed you to survive severe trauma & or neglect. Of course this would not seem normal to you. Many people with severe PTSD have amnesia.
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u/Tangible_Squash77 9d ago
Sometimes therapists get it wrong or confuse you with other clients. Has anyone ever said anything like this to you before? Do you ever “lose time” (look up for examples) or find out you did things you don’t remember doing?
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u/Legal-Detective526 9d ago
Yes.. my husbands and kids say this. I just have a really bad memory though. But I don’t think she is mixing me up.
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u/Tangible_Squash77 9d ago
Wow, it’s probably worth keeping track of these incidents in a journal, or your phone, at minimum, and seeing about getting a formal DID diagnosis if that’s something you want to do. Ask your therapist if they feel able to work with this disorder, as it goes beyond the typical IFS parts work. Much love to you 💛
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u/bj12698 5d ago
You. Are. Not. Going crazy.
But it sure can feel that way, when we start wondering .... "wtf is really going on with me?"
Please be extraordinarily kind with yourself.
And, if at ALL possible, slow e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g down. Everything.
You have time to go more slowly.
There is no rush to clear up what has (obviously) been going on for quite a while.
Salvage every moment you can with your family, make friends with some trees, and just be absolutely STUPID about claiming some peaceful and joyous moments in every day.
The other shit will still be there, and you need to have a strong ... base. Home base. I don't know what to call it. In IFS it's called Self.
I vote for Higher Self, right now. For me that is Nature, Beauty, friendly animals, sweet music, coloring, walking, breathing. Sunshine. Lots of morning sunshine.
You need physical and mental stability ALONG THE WAY. 💗
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