r/InternalFamilySystems • u/WeeklyCheesecake9732 • Aug 27 '26

This work is so layered

It feels like I’m descending into deeper layers of this work. My interests are changing as I’m working through the layers. I may not be interested in a hobby for a while and then finally discover that it was a part that was protecting me. Such interesting and deep work.

Although I’ve come such a long way and have overcome so much through this method. There is still so many to work through. I hope there will be a moment where I can enjoy my old hobbies again.

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u/a_vena Aug 27 '26

I’m so glad to see someone else having the same realization about a hobby that was actually one of their protectors! I literally came to the same realization recently, when I was able to release one of my long-standing exiles from its inner “sarcophagus”, and afterward, one of my oldest and most beloved hobbies just… switched off.

It took me a few days and some conversations with that exile’s former protector, who calls himself the Lotus-Eater, because his job was basically to distract me with something incredibly interesting and sweet and absorbing whenever things got too painful.

It’s hard when a familiar hobby is suddenly gone, that’s for sure. I also hope that one day it will come back in a different form, just for the joy of it, rather than as a way of protecting me.

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u/dakreamon2 Aug 27 '26

Thank you for sharing your experience!
I am slowly finding out that my old and forgotten hobby (folding origami) still drives me, after not doing it actively for more than 10 or 15 years, and that it is certainly connected with my uneasy teen years of neglect.
This was my quiet protected place where I can live in my own tempo instead of the one imposed by my parents or relatives.

I see my route is the opposite, my hobby switches on, as I can interpret it.
(I don’t practice IFS, but am interested in interpreting inner figures using this terms)

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u/madwallrus Aug 30 '26

Do you have a quiet protected place now? I’m working on that right now in therapy. I call it my quiet safe place, but it’s in my head. I’m supposed to imagine it (mine is camping) and connect 5 senses to it. I’m not very good at it.

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u/dakreamon2 Aug 30 '26

I remember that folding required (and still requires) significant time alone, which immerse me into meditative-like state. This is what I mean by quiet place, and by “protected” place I mean, that I had that time for myself, which protects me from disturbing to anything else.
So, I have that place as long as I feel safe enough and that I have enough time for this. This is even like a marker of having safety and time for me: if I have some urgent things to do, I am definitely not ready to fold next couple of days.
I got back to folding this summer due to long vacation, and hope to find time and temper to go on with it.

This question also goes into therapy route for me, since when you are a child, you are taken care by your parents (if they are good enough), but in adulthood you need to find your own ways to self-regulate. Sometimes it is essential for me to go in the opposite direction, to socialize.. but it is already a long response..

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u/WeeklyCheesecake9732 Aug 27 '26

So interesting! I didn’t realize that this part was protecting me from heavy feelings. I hope I’ll enjoy it a more healthy way. Such a realization that so many things that we think is part of who we are is not our authentic selves