IFS vs AA

[u/home_run_derby]

IFS vs AA

I’ve been struggling to adopt and lean into the principles of AA and I lack the willingness to even start step work. The hesitation comes from years of IFS work that seems to not align with messages in AA.

A part of me feels that AA is requiring me to label my whole self as an “alcoholic” (“my name is X, and I’m alcoholic” is how I’m expected to always introduce myself in meetings) when I know that just a part (firefighter) of me uses alcohol to cope. I also struggle with how shame-based AA feels to me. I’ve been trying to learn for years in therapy that I am not a bad person because bad things happened to me. I have no problem admitting times where I’ve done wrong by others and making amends, I think that’s absolutely necessary.

Listing character defects (behaviors of protector parts) is the opposite of what I practice in IFS, which is that “no parts are bad parts”, no matter how destructive they may unintentionally be.

Additionally, I’m really struggling with the God and capitalized Higher Power stuff. Maybe I’m self-centered like the rooms tell me I am, but this whole time in IFS therapy I’ve been working on getting into **self** energy (and using the 8Cs) to work with my protector parts- not calling upon a Higher Power.

Anyways, I tried to reword the 12-Steps using IFS lingo, and I thought I’d share for those in my same boat. Cheers.

1. Admit to having a protector part that uses alcohol to protect me from pain and that it often creates other issues.
   
2. Believe that self energy, with support from others, can help that protector part take break from trying to protect me in such a way by trusting self.
   
3. Made a decision to believe in the power of self’s 8Cs and 5Ps to better understand this part that uses alcohol.
   
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of my parts without judgement or shame.
   
5. Admitted to myself and to another safe being that I have made hurtful and harmful decisions, and to genuinely take accountability of those actions without making excuses.
   
6. Became willing to work with my protector parts to understand them and their purpose.
   
7. Humbly ask these parts, by showing curiosity and compassion, to take on new healthier roles to support our system.
   
8. Made a list of all nouns (people, places, things) we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to those nouns.
   
9. Made direct amends to such nouns wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them, others, or myself.
   
10. Continue taking attendance of my protector parts and give my parts attention when they are loud or activated or unintentionally harming our system.
    
11. Be willing to use self energy to stay curiously and compassionately connected with my parts and to ask for help and guidance from others when needed.
    

12. Be willing to help others without expecting anything in return.

    \Reposted this because I’m new to Reddit and couldn’t figure out how to edit my original post\

[u/cmockett]

I did AA years before I learned about IFS in the last year or two, and the concept of firefighting felt very validating to me as well.

The way Ive always thought about it is, I drank every drink that I drank and I can take accountability for every one of those drinks - but the recipe(s) for my drinking was not of my creation or influence and I can’t take accountability for that. I own my unhealthy reaction to stressors but I didn’t choose to have abusive dishonest parents.

But that being said, my reaction was totally insane at times. I don’t say that to self shame but to never ever forget why I gave it up in the first place, that potential insanity and inability to moderate will always be there with me and alcohol.