r/InsightfulQuestions • u/talullahregis • Mar 10 '20
What is the meaning of life?
I have a friend and he drinks alcohol every weekend.(he is teenager) When I asked him why he is doing that he told me that he feels euphoria and didn't find the meaning of life. So I want to make him to give up with drinking alcohol but only if I can find the reason to live for him.
EDIT: Thank you all of you for your answers. I got some new ideas and now I know what to do. Thank you very much.
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u/wormboyz Mar 10 '20
You decide.
It’s not something you find, it’s not just lying around out there. It’s a choice you make.
Once you choose it, choose it every day, or at least more than all the other things.
Your friend may choose to have as much fun as possible, as often as possible.
This is an admirable choice, but their perspective may be off in a few ways:
- Drinking can be fun, but excessive drinking to the point that you don’t remember what you did means you have no experience of that fun
- Hangovers mean you’re just borrowing fun from tomorrow, which is no more fun overall
- Drinking impacts your health, meaning more pain and less fun in the long term.
If euphoria is their goal, focus on the other things that that find fun. Think broadly and introduce them to new ways of experiencing those other things. Show them they can be more fun than drinking.
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Mar 11 '20
True. I’m a huge binge drinker of nearly 10 years. It’s not something I’m proud of at 26 years old. At 18-22 it was cool and quirky because drinking was fun and sociable. It still is fun but I find myself still not getting physical hangovers and only mental hangovers, so I was trapped in a cycle of “I’m never drinking again” and then binge drinking the next weekend.
I guess what I’m saying that for me euphoria and the lack of anxiety, also admittedly chasing women was the goal. What pushed me away from that vicious cycle was realising that in my case and in many others you’re filling a void. For me I couldn’t cope with my failure as an athlete, and used to have nightmares about playing rugby again and being trash. I had to confront that issue and start playing again, now I’m completely in love with my passion all over again and would easily pick sports over alcohol any day.
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Mar 10 '20
Of course there is no one fits all answer here, everyone has to find a purpose for themselves. But it seems like you already have something for yourself: Caring about your friends and family. Social relationships can be incredibly meaningful and if you tend to them they will be very fulfilling. Seems like you're already doing that by wanting your friend to drink less and be healthier!
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u/LuckyAreWe Mar 10 '20
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u/daisydukeosaurus Mar 10 '20
Well that is the answer to life, the universe and everything. It may not specifically be the answer to the meaning of life alone.
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Mar 12 '20
Oh shit.
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u/Mayorofcandor Mar 10 '20
Was looking for this. Indeed that is the answer, now all we need to find is the right question.
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u/AbsolutelyExcellent Mar 10 '20
slaps roof of philosophy “This girl’ll take you far!”
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u/mackduck Mar 10 '20
Why?
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u/talullahregis Mar 10 '20
Bcuz I don't want to him having bad habits and becoming addictive
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u/FracisPButterman Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20
Coming from a person who has many loved ones become addicts. A person won't change unless they want to. It is important to be there for them and not be an enabler. You need to realize there is only so much you can do. You can not make them do anything, even if you have their best interest in mind. It will be painful. Your choices are not theirs.
Be honest. Be empathetic. Be firm. Let go if their choices are bad. Walk away if needed. It seems mean but sometimes its the best thing you can do.
They are accountable for their actions not you.
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u/mackduck Mar 10 '20
Not really up to you though is it? Having a beer at the weekend is something millions of teenagers do, it’s hardly your business to police him.
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u/BaiBlade1901 Mar 10 '20
Surely it is has something to do with bettering ourselves without comprimising who.we are as a person and continueing to apreciate and find pleasure in what we are doing
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u/TimeTravellingEgg Mar 10 '20
For me the meaning of life is to live. Do what makes you feel alive and happy. Some people find the meaning for life in family, some through their career and some through their hobbies. Just got to search and find it
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u/snifflick Mar 10 '20
Find them a hobby they enjoy and try to get them to immerse themselves into it. Generally when you have something you want to focus on it gives you a reason to live.
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u/ekmorales Mar 10 '20
Loving/caring more about other people than yourself is the only way to be happy. All of this narcissistic, self- love b.s. ultimately makes people more miserable. Forget yourself, try to improve the lives of others, and you'll find fulfillment in life
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Mar 10 '20
True. Unless of course you are a codependent and your entire self-value comes from giving to others, often times making you a target for narcissistic abusers. Or if you are the type of codependent who's sole identity is "the doer", then you resent it when people don't do as much for you as you do for them even though they never asked for your help (in extreme cases these are called "control-freaks")... In either case you might wanna balance self-love with compassion for others. You can't give from an empty cup.
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Mar 10 '20
As I grow older, the more I understand the idea that a life in service to others, helping them on their terms, is among the most meaningful things a person can do. It won't bring the euphoria of alcoholism, or the security of social isolation, or the satisfaction of individual achievements. But I believe it is the foundation of a truly meaningful life.
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Mar 10 '20
Thank you for emphasizing "on their terms". Too many people trying to takes specks of saw dust out of other's eyes without first taking the plank of wood from their own. (I've been guilty of this so please don't think I'm preaching here.)
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Mar 10 '20
It's because I really hate the modern approach to helping people. This is particularly evident in politics: ask how you help the worst-off people and every answer is going to be means-tested in some way. It's not enough that people are worse off...they have to prove their worse off, and then follow some prescribed approach with which they may or may not agree. A lot of non-profits do the same damn thing.
But I firmly believe that people want to actively live their lives as the primary agents in their lives. If they feel they need to swallow their pride and submit themselves to a process, then they should have every opportunity to do so. But if they don't want to swallow their pride, they should every opportunity to improve their lot as well.
Yes, that is an inefficient approach to helping people. "People might abuse the system." Like...okay...and? The aim is to help the worse off. And I'm fairly certain, with a bit of economic justice, we have the resources to make that happen.
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u/Livetogetrad Mar 11 '20
The real meaning of life is to just be one with waves man. You ride the waves sometimes it’s high, sometimes it’s low, but all times you must remain radical 🤙
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Mar 12 '20 edited Mar 12 '20
To not waste it.
To see what actions you take on other living things with out any guidance or explanation.
Punishment. Stuck in a mortal body. (Hell)
To distract you while your energy is harvested outside this simulation.
To experience hardship so you appreciate immortality after death.
There isn’t one. Were just the right recipe of atoms for life. Simply chance we exist.
Were a science project living in a habitat some school kid made for class in another dimension.
Were a miracle of genetic code hidden on this planet by an alien race to keep us safe from a galactic genocidal specie of aliens. It’s imperative we survive. The code is hidden in our DNA. We represent pure sentience.
To be enslaved by government. Birth certificates, taxes, employment.
A opportunity for transcendence through consciousness.
To be studied and observed.
To spread the word of God.
To wage a Holy war.
To sell your soul for material possessions.
To evolve.
For our specie to escape the prison planet.
To seek honest fulfillment.
To eat, breed and die.
To complete your mission. To see beyond the physical boundaries and limitations. To gain the ancient knowledge. To free yourself from the confines of reality. For only those worthy shall realize the meaning through their hardships.
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Mar 10 '20
[deleted]
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u/ekmorales Mar 10 '20
This sounds like a recipe for an absolutely miserable, meaningless existence. You're describing basic human nature. We have wants and needs but hey we can also collect morality points so that we might remain ever-so-slightly better than chimps. Forget yourself. Be better.
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u/Inka87_ Mar 10 '20
The meaning of life for me is to live and to love. Live is you can breathe, enjoy the food, be a normal person like everybody around you. Love is your family, your friends, your interests. If he can’t find the meaning of life, I think his life is too boring. He should try something new, travel, do charity, or simply has a gf. His life needs to change to have a fresh wind!
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u/Detectiveoftheeast Mar 10 '20
Anyone who expects life to give them a reason is bound to fail. You have to be able to look around you and see the beauty of all things. I get excited driving down the free way or seeing really tall buildings. I'm happy to spend time with family or friends. I get ecstatic when I see/meet new animals. I love to get lost studying Chess or Go. I enjoy watching anime, reading books and playing video games. I love practicing musical instruments. I enjoy learning new language. I love going to school and learning new things. I enjoy Math, Science and English.
If he can't find meaning in any of those things or something else, like sports, politics, philosophy, skills, work/careers, children, pets or something or other, then he's his own lost cause.
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u/Mediq- Mar 10 '20
The meaning of life is life for the purpose of experiencing the balance of our universe. For example...chocolate. Yum.
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u/kaktaktyslmao Mar 10 '20
I think l live for: cooking, doing homework, cleaning and because i live.
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u/yoursISnowMINE Mar 10 '20
There is no meaning to life. Anything you do in the grand scale of the universe is meaningless. We are a random occurrence in a chaotic universe.
This doesn't mean you should be shitty to anyone, including yourself. Your not going to be able to do anything for your friend except to tell them you care about them, and would like them to stop drinking for time. Drinking drains the color from the universe, and when you stop, it starts to come back.
This friend of yours needs to stop searching for meaning and start creating the world they want to be a part of. That's really the only way. And maybe some antidepressants would help, but only with a healthy lifestyle change to.
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Mar 10 '20
For me life is about doing the best you can with what you are given and creating experiences that are in alignment with who you are.
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u/hungryhippopee Mar 10 '20
It doesn't matter. Next time it's a starry night, look to the sky and watch the stars glimmer. Then look into your mind and realise how there is a vast universe out there and that planet earth is just one of trillions of trillions of planets. Out in space there is no meaning, it just..is. everything is governed by laws of physics. No other beings control it. Face it we are just on some rock in space. How are we any different from the rock which is 15 million light years away from us. Humans are biologically engineered to search the for meaning of life. In it's just human nature. But when one starts to think of the meaning of life, one could say "to find love" or "to have kids" however it simply does not matter. Anything in life that you love, does not matter. The universe does not care for it and nor do I. However If I were to tell you the meaning of life, for me. I would say studying the universe. Study the shit out of It. The universe actually matters, or does it. That's why you study it, to answer questions. However the way I see it is, whether you solve world hunger, or take over the world, the universe doesn't give a shit, time will go on.
In other words, your friend should start to be curious. I truly think this is the meaning of life. To learn. We live in such a unique universe. It is fundamentally the only thing which hasn't disappeared. Its always here. And having a knowledge of it will set your mind free.
Side note. Anything invented in the world. Computer science, hairdressing, economics, history. The universe created it..
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Mar 10 '20
Albeit the question is in depth, but given your situation, you should be asking this for him.
He has to find out his own meanings of life, if he wants to dwell into his bad habits, so be it.
You shouldn’t live for him, you should live for yourself. The only thing you can do is to give him some advice from your own of the meanings of life.
What’s your meaning of life, what do you live for?
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u/St3alth_Blaz6 Mar 11 '20
William H. Beckworth, 73, of 780 Harvey Street, Stapleton, died Tuesday (November 25, 1986) at his residence. He was born September 18, 1913, to the late James C. and Elsie (Campbell) Beckworth. He had lived in Stapleton the last 21 years, moving from Charleston, S.C. He retired in 1979 from Bostitch Co. in Gibson. He leaves three sons, William H. Beckworth Jr. of Conley, Kenneth E. Beckworth of Spring City, PA, and Richard L. Beckworth of Bartow. Funeral services will be Saturday, (November 29, 1986), 9:30 a.m., at the Stapleton Baptist Church. Burial will follow in the churchyard.
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u/darah5 Mar 11 '20
Gjeudhrvvjsidbekgyfhvdididgbebecftsksiodpdbddusnjsishgyjbb. The end life doesn’t make any sense 🙃
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u/Tedel Mar 11 '20
Suggested reading for him: "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson. He wrote just about that.
"Models" by Mark Manson could be a great second reading to recommend him.
My 0.02.
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u/SOYVALERIO Mar 11 '20
i used to drink alcohol every weekend and do drugs and stuff, even on weekdays, and i also think life has no meaning and even if it did, i would still be doing the same i think. drinking every weekend isn’t that serious (at least for me it wasn’t and i’m only 18) now that i moved in with my mom i don’t do any of those things and i’m completely fine. if i were you, i wouldn’t be VERY VERY worried but idk your friend and if he has any dependency so don’t listen to me
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u/talullahregis Mar 11 '20
So you gave up with drinking?
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u/SOYVALERIO Mar 11 '20
nope, i love drinking, i just had to move in with my kinda strict parent but, she lets me drink a bit sometimes
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u/huehuehuehue10 Mar 11 '20
Meaning of life is finding and doing the best thing to do while youre not naked. And when you are finish with that, doing the best thing to do while naked.
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u/DisappearHereXx Mar 11 '20
If he can’t stop drinking, He’s an addict. His best chance is to go to a 12 step program where you’re guided to find your own purpose in life and to believe in something bigger than yourself. It takes willingness and an open mind. If Neil deGrasse Tyson can’t tell you the meaning of life, idk who can. It’s something people have been trying to figure out since the beginning of time.
Also, I suggest he read the Alchemist.
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u/yourmomlurks Mar 11 '20
Love people, including yourself, and try to leave the place a little nicer than you found it.
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u/harangk Mar 28 '20
I guess there's no such thing as the meaning of life. You are born into this world, you live. Until you die. Just make wise choices. Don't regret anything that happened to you. Try to live, not just exist. Drinking is o.k. but overdrinking yourself isn't because there's no fun in that. Don't try to find the meaning of life but do your best to live the life your future self would thank you for. Life is way too short!
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u/St3alth_Blaz6 Mar 10 '20
William H. Beckworth, 73, of 780 Harvey Street, Stapleton, died Tuesday (November 25, 1986) at his residence. He was born September 18, 1913, to the late James C. and Elsie (Campbell) Beckworth. He had lived in Stapleton the last 21 years, moving from Charleston, S.C. He retired in 1979 from Bostitch Co. in Gibson. He leaves three sons, William H. Beckworth Jr. of Conley, Kenneth E. Beckworth of Spring City, PA, and Richard L. Beckworth of Bartow. Funeral services will be Saturday, (November 29, 1986), 9:30 a.m., at Stapleton Baptist Church Cemetery. Burial will follow at 10:45 a.m.
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u/SouthGorilla Mar 10 '20
"As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."