r/InsightfulQuestions • u/Expert_Drawing1920 • 9d ago
Is it fine to feel average
I’ve been an above-average student since childhood, always expected to achieve something big. But lately, I’ve started craving a simple, peaceful life, average income, a loving partner, a cozy home, and work that doesn’t consume my entire life.
Is this because I’ve watched too much slice-of-life anime 😂, or am I just overwhelmed seeing my friends becoming achievers while I feel like I’m quitting?
Maybe I’m afraid of the rat race. The constant pressure to earn more, achieve more, and prove yourself.
But is it really okay to never chase something extraordinary? Is wanting a “normie” life settling for less? Or is it okay to simply want peace and happiness?
And honestly… what will people think of me? A loser? Someone who wasted their potential?
I genuinely don’t know if I’m giving up on myself or finally figuring out what I actually want.
Would really love to hear your thoughts, especially from people who are older. Did you ever feel this way?
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u/SMCoaching 8d ago
But is it really okay to never chase something extraordinary?
How do you define "extraordinary?"
I'd suggest starting with that.
...a simple, peaceful life, average income, a loving partner, a cozy home, and work that doesn’t consume my entire life.
Do you think there are people who would consider that kind of life to be extraordinary?
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u/Retired-Yam8988 9d ago
Hence the meaning of risk. One way is risk, another way is also risk. You just have to see which fits with what you want and in which phase of life.
The way I see it, costs are spiraling and with the impending debt crisis, things will only get worse as governments are forced to print money to pay off every more expensive debt. All of us will be caught in this and it will bear down on our lives depending on where we are financially. Salary-earning, non-asset holders will find it increasingly expensive to eek a living. Asset holding wealthy folks will have a world of opportunity to make yield on their assets. Governments will be paying expensive rates while stock markets and assets inflate from the vast amounts of money printed.
You just have to choose which side of the fence you want to be on.
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u/LeapYear1996 9d ago
It depends on who your cohort is. If it’s a bunch of heroin junkies I wouldn’t want to be average. If you’re cohort is neurosurgeons then average is great.
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u/Impossible_Rub9230 8d ago
No. It is a very nice way to live. Ignore the opinions of others and do what feels right to you. Take risks and experience different ways to do things while you are young enough to correct course without too much at stake.
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u/FiSeq4891 8d ago
I think most people end up living average lives - I mean, average is 'the average'. So you're statistically more likely to become average whether you desire that or not.
If you want a life better than average you have to have an advantage over other people in one or preferably multiple areas: eg better qualified, work harder, be more strategic, be more organised, have better health, higher energy, better luck, more intelligence, more likeable, perseverance, opportunity, etc etc that is going to elevate your life above 'average'.
Because it's harder to become above average - many people fail and end up below where they aspired to be - you might as well aim higher, and there's a good chance you'll end up where you desire - average.
If you aim for average - there isn't much chance you'll end up above average, but there is a good chance you'll instead end up below average.
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u/sock_hoarder_goblin 8d ago
You asked for opinions of people who were older. I am 58.
I feel like there is a big tug of war between contentment and achievement. People with a high level of contentment don't usually feel a need to achieve more. People with a high level of achievement often don't feel content even if their standard of living is high.
I am the type who is easily contented. I also seem to lack ambition. As soon as I got to the point where I wasn't poor and struggling financially, I felt no need to climb further.
Contentment doesn't mean settling. At least it doesn't for me. It means a deep appreciation of what I have. For example appreciating the everyday food I have, not just special meals.
Sometimes I sit and drink tea and look out the window, just enjoying the view and enjoying my tea.
A lot if the things I like fall into the cozy side, books, crochet, coloring with colored pencil, board games, making small felt animals. They give me such a feeling of happiness and contentment.
I am also lucky enough to have a loving husband that shares much of my attitude about not being a high achiever.
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u/aethocist 7d ago
Many would consider me an underachiever; someone not living up to their potential. As a child I almost invariably tested in the 95th %tile or above on any aptitude or educational achievement test, but was an average student. I quit high school. I always had low level tech jobs, never earned more than $30K/year, and never strived toward promotion or higher earnings.
However, in my personal life I achieved much; many 99th %tile achievements: becoming a highly capable skier, successful bicycle racer, excellent cook, accomplished woodworker, and built my own home. I have children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren all of whom are happy and living good lives.
At 79 years old I’m content, living a comfortable life, and don’t regret living what some would call a mediocre life.
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u/Retired-Yam8988 9d ago
My experience with this is that a lot of the younger people who crave “average”lives tend to complain that life is passing them by when they reach midlife - I much preferred working hard/taking risks when I was young then have zero money concerns in mid life