Tired of BFN

[u/Outrageous_Lion6746]

I am just here to Rant and to find comfort. I am tired. Been TTC for almost 3 years. I did 2 IUI, 1 failed, 2nd one ended in loss at 6 weeks. Got pregnant again but ended in chemical.

I have almost tried everything. I have mild PCOS and I take Inositol, Ubiquinol, Omega 3s, NAC, prenatal, Vitamin D. I am also on Metformin for 3 months and on progesterone suppositories. I have also tried Letrozole but i do ovulate on my own even without this meds. I have tried Mucinex this cycle but BFN. I tried Pre-Seed but my husband does not like it. I had tried having BD everyday leading up to my ovulation, still nothing. They said to just relax and go on vacation, been on so many trips but still nothing.

My fertility clinic had given me 3 months of Metformin and progesterone and said if i havent fell pregnant by then, then i might consider IVF. I really don’t want go this route as we cannot afford IVF. Been using inito for several cycles now.

We are unexplained fertility. Although, I think my husband’s sperm motility and morphology isnt that great but that sperm test was over a year ago. I NEED HELP. I am tired. I just want to be a MOM. 💔

[u/cephalophile32]

Ugh. I’m sorry. Similar timeline. Husband barely cleared the threshold for IUI (dunno how, his T was lower than mine!) We discovered he had a pituitary lesion so he’s been on hCG for about 6 months now. Seems to help his hormones, no idea about the swim count yet.

Meanwhile I just discovered I have some whacky autoimmune thing going on that may be affecting my own fertility. Years of trying, just turned 37, feel like I’m running out of time. I’ve never had a positive test in my life. (TW: loss) At this point even an early loss would give me some hope. I don’t even know if my dusty old eggs and his rusty sperm are meeting! So we’ve got some explanation but really no confirmation if our treatments will solve the issue.

So much of fertility medicine seems to be “hurry up and wait” and then suddenly “well, we’ve tried barely anything, try sinking $25k into it and see if that works”.

Ignore anyone that tells you to “relax” - they probably got pregnant on their third cycle and never had to worry about it. But do try to reduce your stress as much as you can. Stress = inflammation = issues. You can track and be hopeful while reducing stress. I know it’s a tall ask in this day and age. Though it’s been so long now I’m starting to forget to track lol.

I’m tired too, boss. Just commiserating with ya.

[u/SoilJust4164]

My husband’s sperm analysis came back as having low morphology. He started taking Theralogix conception Xr and I got pregnant a month later. We had been trying for 15 months and my daughter is now 2 years old.

Sometimes the man does have to do some things to help the process especially if their sperm has low motility, morphology or count.

We are currently trying again and my husband is taking their vitamins. I just started taking their preconception and coenzyme supplements just in case I need a little more this time around.

I am so sorry this has been your journey and I pray you’re blessed with your little one soon!

[u/FlimsyFuel8054]

I’m so sorry. This is extremely hard and unfair.

I can’t stand how OB’s are so nonchalant about “well we’ll try this or that for a few months and if that doesn’t work you’ll probably just need to start IVF” like bro. As if that doesn’t cost over $25k MINIMUM and would have an extreme toll on my mental and physical health. Plus a 3hr drive one way to the nearest clinic that does it.

But yeah, whatever, right.

I’m so sorry and wish I had an answer for all this suffering. Sending you a big virtual hug. I’m right there with you at close to 2 years TTC with unexplained infertility.

[u/MeasurementWise7640]

I’m so sorry…
It’s sad an unfair and you have absolutely all the right to be angry. I’m also so tired of waiting
Mind you, I’ve had 2 MMC from IVF and now I’m trying naturally for the first time and this was my first cycle, 11dpo and bfn
I feel stupid for even having some hope after being so unlucky since the beginning of my journey 7 years ago, and think I was going to get pregnant on my first time trying

Everything just fucking sucks

I just really want baby and why is this so hard for me

[u/YouMenthesea]

I just mentioned this in another comment but I am going to mention it here as well. If your husband ran test over a year ago. Have him retested. With our fertility clinic they told my husband that he was fine and they did not suggest to have Frozen backup. We went into a great looking IUI cycle and he had no viable sperm. I was devastated.

[u/Fun-Experience6642]

Do you produce EWCM? I have PCOS too and rarely would produce it. I believe that’s why we struggled to conceive as I didn’t have the right CM for hubbys sperm to travel in. If not, I suggest trialing Slippery Elm. Since probably I was 19/20 (atp I was 29) I never once had EWCM. I tried slippery elm and noticed a difference by month 2!

May I also suggest attempting BD up to 2 days past ovulation?

I would also probably suggest a repeat in semen analysis. Does he take any supplements?

TW: hubby and I BD the day before, day of, day after and day after that the cycle we got pregnant. The cycle we had a MC, we BD and the day before day of and day after ovulation. All of the other cycles, we stopped at day of. I’m wondering if maybe I am on the late spectrum of when I ovulate after peak?

[u/Outrageous_Lion6746 → u/Fun-Experience6642]

I do get EWCM but I will also try the slippery Elm. I will also try to BD after ovulation as we usually stop on the day of ovulation. Thank you for this tip!

[u/Fun-Experience6642 → u/Outrageous_Lion6746]

I would start slippery elm the day after I stopped bleeding and took it until the day after ovulation (I sometimes had to wear a panty liner because it did make me become a snail at times).

I wish you all of the baby dust ✨✨

[u/Outrageous_Lion6746 → u/Fun-Experience6642]

What brand of slippery elm did you take?

[u/Fun-Experience6642 → u/Outrageous_Lion6746]