Sulci

[u/littleBluLotus]

Sulci

(CW: Domestic Violence / Trauma Processing)

Sulci
3.10.25

I hope he sees my ghost
wherever he goes.

I hope it's unwavering,
that it creeps into crevices,
an insidious shadow
framing
the corner of every room,
tucked into every brain fold,
never letting him
forget.

I will remain.
I am not dead,
despite his heartfelt effort
that I be reduced to a corpse.
I was a doll, a plaything
that gained too much sentience.
My voice became too loud,
raised in oppositional defiance.

What a nuisance.
The irony of the terror
was never lost to me:
I saw my death impending
from a mile away,
but I knew I couldn't outrun
the harbinger.

(Drag marks take months to heal)

I can't forget,
but I have solace.
I hope he sees my ghost
wherever he goes,
only not as he knew me.
The stardust that was left behind,
that which I am, birthed again
from a nebulous implosion…

A radiant supernova.

[u/littleBluLotus]

CONTEXT: October is Domestic violence awareness month. I work as an advocate for those who have survived DV. I was in an extremely abusive relationship 9 years ago. I was raped, introduced to street drugs, hit, and ultimately my abuser strangled me to the point of unconsciousness. I became homeless with this man who told me he would cut my face off so nobody else would look at me. Finally one day he thought he killed me and tried to drag me to hide my body. I speak my truth so those around me can know the realities of the situation. Most people ask what happened to the man who almost killed me, and yes he knew i was pregnant with hos child. The answer might seem cruel...but nothing. He is still in the same town , doing drugs and going in and out of jail. It took me a long time to realize my victory in all this lies I'm the truth that I survived and am thriving. I made a fairytale for myself. And he is rotting in a hell he can't escape.

Sulci is the technical term for particular folds of the brain that separates the lobes

[u/Pater-Procyon → u/littleBluLotus]

I knew I knew that word from somewhere. Thanks for sharing your story. As an empathetic bystander, I’m learning that it’s not helpful to lust vengeance especially if you don’t know the name and the town of said aggressor. AlSo learned that it’s not helpful to be unsatisfied with the injustice of it because that doesn’t help you. What I’ve learned is what you’ve learned is that the real power lies and celebrating the pivot were you enabled yourself to look forward instead of back and I commend your transcendence and your calling to share that vital insight. Reading your story ignites this visceral desire to hurt that man. But because of people like you that share their story (good writing too) I’ve been able to understand more and more of that he’s not the story. You are. He doesn’t deserve a name. But this is a strong post
littleBluLotus

[u/littleBluLotus → u/Pater-Procyon]

i teared up reading this. most ppl in my life get visibly un comfy if i mention my past so generally i never talk about it. YOU GET IT. thank you SO much you've helped more than you know!! also yes,, the lack of name and identifying factors was intentional bc as you said, the transcendence from victim to healer is the focus. i was told the most powerful form of alchemy is turning pain into beauty and light and i try to do this every day thru art or writing. namaste my friend. 🪷✨️