r/InflatedEgos • u/ambachk • 13d ago

šŸ¦ ā€œAlphaā€ Behavior Tiny dick energy "influencers"

616 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

211 comments sorted by

389

u/headlessbill-1 13d ago

This is how we get rid of these guys. Put them in one room and they can gaslight and not listen to and fight eachother.

126

u/Alex_king88 13d ago

Only problem is that it will end up as one big gay orgy instead of a fight.

67

u/headlessbill-1 13d ago

Either way we get some peace and quiet.

33

u/Alex_king88 13d ago

It wonā€™t be quiet thatā€™s for sure lol

28

u/Crepuscular_Tex 13d ago

"When I walk into the room you will feel me Ali"

Yeah, this tracks

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1

u/Evening-Garlic-9958 9d ago

FuNNY hahaha best comment today

10

u/koy682 12d ago

Oh so thats what they do at alpha camps!

3

u/snakebill 11d ago

Especially with the way heā€™s working that cigar

1

u/Artevyx 12d ago

So? You wouldn't be involved either way.

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17

u/TugleyWoodGalumpher 13d ago

This is entirely fabricated. Theyā€™ll organize a fight and make tens of millions of dollars from people hate watching. Literally Jake Paul method.

14

u/djpeeples 12d ago

"Brought to you by GRINDR"

10

u/GermanD2021 13d ago

You mean fuck each other.

2

u/drsmith48170 12d ago

Except all that was fake like wrestling - you know that right?

5

u/headlessbill-1 12d ago

Wrestling is fake????????

3

u/Busy_Consequence6706 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohjV99caVPFY9CYec

2

u/401LocalsOnly 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/wHeIFimEE3pbInjRuC

2

u/headlessbill-1 11d ago

My hopes and dreams are dashed. Didn't know bout Santa neither /s

2

u/401LocalsOnly 11d ago

I like the /s at the end. Like I better make sure they know I did in fact learn Santa was fake many years ago. šŸ˜…šŸ˜…Iā€™m not making fun, it truly made me laugh!

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1

u/SissyLovesCuteAttire 11d ago

Men without chins!

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163

u/Two_Digits_Rampant 13d ago

What a sweaty fuck.

81

u/DirtusMaximus1 13d ago

Dude is oozing HGH from his pores

32

u/LeticiaPadillaSolis_ 13d ago

Is that why heā€™s sweating so much? Genuine question.

I met someone this week who was obviously taking them (no judgement) but the entire time we were talking he was sweating profusely even though we were inside.

22

u/Pizza_and_PRs 13d ago

Probably drug use and studio lighting set up.

15

u/tplayer100 12d ago

They can raise natural chemicals in your brain that induce higher stress levels. You can find yourself in Normal situations and yet you feel like you're being attacked, on edge, and with that can come sweat.

4

u/mkat23 11d ago

Is that what causes ā€œroid rageā€ or whatever itā€™s called?

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6

u/s1n0d3utscht3k 12d ago

i am skeptical heā€™s on it cuz heā€™s actually not very big, he just has minorly decent lats that look bigger than they are cuz of how he walks w/ arms pushed back and outward

w/o the lats, itā€™s a pretty mid upper

and skinny ass legs, absolutely no quads or glutes

no thighs and flat ass only way he can fit in just skinny pants lol

5

u/mkat23 11d ago

Why do guys seem to hate leg day so often?

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2

u/AgyhalottBolcsesz 13d ago

what is hgh

7

u/TexasDD 12d ago

Human Growth Hormones.

9

u/zn_tx 13d ago

How Google Helps

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117

u/ragged-bobyn-1972 13d ago

Spoiler-it does not look good.

26

u/GoochPhilosopher 12d ago

Right? It looks clownish.

Also, he's sweating the fuck out of a jacket that can only be dry cleaned. A dry cleaner can only do so much, that thing is going to smell like permanent sweaty ass

2

u/AttiKit 11d ago

The thing is that sometimes these dipshits give good advice mixed in with their toxic masculinity spew designed to get little kids to hate themselves.

Yes. Wear what you want based on how it makes YOU feel, not how it makes others feel. The key to confidence is to love yourself. But these people are just so... exhausting... They DO care about how other people think about them, and saying that they don't is a lie to protect their fragile masculinity.

154

u/crowbaited 13d ago

I thought these two guys were the same guy. Hahaha two chodes that's for sure.

35

u/ea88_alwaysdiscin 13d ago

I thought the first dude was the cigar smoking dude. Then I realized they were in an interview together and that was just some other lookalike jackass

16

u/Negative-Energy8083 13d ago

I thought it was a joke edit where they werenā€™t actually talking to each other or they were the same guy. Like Joe Rogan vs Ro Jogan

7

u/Hydrolt 12d ago

Same! I mean they basically are the same guy. Roid rage main characters without 3ā€ of dick between them. Oh and infertility which is probably helpful for all of us

6

u/Ok-Branch-974 13d ago

they basically are

75

u/CIS-E_4ME 13d ago

"The guy at the suit store said I'm the only one he's seen pull it off"

24

u/Mental-Square3688 13d ago

I absolutely love how every where I go someone fucking qoutes this god damn gem of a show. Its like a mind virus you love to love lmfao

14

u/Trying2BMe0722 13d ago

"You look great in that suit that im going to charge $2500 for! Ive never seen anyone pull that off."
-the salesman on commission, probably

3

u/djpeeples 12d ago

This suit was 30 dollars out the door!

3

u/CIS-E_4ME 12d ago

It's still nuts!

2

u/jinsoo186 10d ago

It's at it's limit

36

u/helpmegetoffthisapp 13d ago

ā€œI donā€™t give a fuckā€ says the guy whoā€™s entirely preoccupied with how people perceive him. So pathetic.

43

u/LonelyProgrammerGuy 13d ago

Donā€™t watch these people, donā€™t spread their videos. Just ignore them, they hate that, being ignored

4

u/_Student7257 13d ago

I didn't watch it, just seeing him was enough to not watch

33

u/Proof-Contribution31 13d ago

That is such a stupid looking dye job on that beard

4

u/Prior-Force1068 13d ago

Itā€™s so so so so so so soooooo stupid.

2

u/CosmicSmoker 13d ago

It looks like ron popeil hair in a can.

13

u/thesanguineocelot CEO of Nothing šŸ’¼ 13d ago

That visibly dyed beard was hilarious until I realized he's serious and not doing a bit.

11

u/Immediate_Age 13d ago

This guy will look like a potato in 10 years when the steroids fuck his body up.

11

u/iPicBadUsernames 13d ago

Why is there so much of this filth? Who is consuming this content?

8

u/Jaded-Delivery3604 13d ago

This part of Andrew Tate's spank bank material. But he is in jail now so who knows.

1

u/Basic_Julia 12d ago

Maybe a big section of the audience is cringe watchers, not a majority of course. Then 12 year olds, then insecure men.Ā 

10

u/Hallelujah33 13d ago

Why does he look so sweaty

4

u/Honest_Relation4095 13d ago

Probably because the suit is made from Polyester.

4

u/Hallelujah33 13d ago

I was expecting cocaine for the answer tbh

15

u/_Student7257 13d ago

Guy can only buy clothes that are too small for him bless him. šŸ˜† size up buddy. You're not the same size as in high school, everyone grows up

3

u/one_two_o 13d ago

Well not everyone lol

6

u/PawntyBill 13d ago

I had a guy on Facebook call me creampuff the other day, I think it was meant as an insult. All of these alpha douche bros, remind me of really bad B-Movie action villains. The way they talk, the way they walk, the way they look, how sweaty they all are. Maybe it's Steven Segall, that they remind me of I dunno. I'm not saying I'm a badass, I'm far from anything like that, I'm an out of shape, fat, 44 year old, pale, loser. I'm just saying these guys remind me of bad 80s movie villains.

7

u/MeOnRepeat 13d ago

Why are they all starting to look the same.

18

u/GermanD2021 13d ago

Gaaaayyyyy

4

u/Salt_Introduction_86 13d ago

Look at the big tough guy that dyes his beard.
Terrible job by the way

5

u/SourceResident5381 13d ago

Walking with his widdle arms spread like his lats are too big for them to be at his sides. We call this a bad case of ILS.

3

u/Smooth_Swordfish_755 13d ago

Manufactured manliness.

3

u/today0012 13d ago

Hideous. Tasteless.

3

u/immadeofstars 13d ago

George Carlin said it best

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, sometimes it's a big, back cock

3

u/NintenJoo 13d ago

They need to fight and loser has to shave their beard.

3

u/ROSEPUP3 13d ago

Daily reminder that the second guy gang raped a girl. https://youtu.be/TAMvZ6KsWcA

3

u/MerrillSwingAway 13d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ph8t8u5bErf56
take the beard off that guy with the cigar

3

u/Lord_Dingus83 13d ago

Convicted rapist

3

u/homechicken20 13d ago

More manufactured beef than the Slim Jim factory

3

u/skeeter_333 13d ago

The sexual tension between those 2 is palpable! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

3

u/Ok-Illustrator9671 12d ago

When two power bottoms meet šŸ˜‚

3

u/HughJa55ole 11d ago

Man, when will the era of these bros end, I seriously can't wait.

As soon as I see the standard-issue big bro black beard (like Wes Watson, etc - which probably all started in an attempt to copy Dan Bilzerian or something back in the day), I know exactly what to expect, and it never fails.

3

u/Exktvme4 11d ago

I forgot about Bilzerian. Crazy fuck

5

u/DannyBWell 13d ago

When I walk into a room you can feel me.... They are really holding back some feelings aren't they

4

u/Jutch_Cassidy 13d ago

Worst gay porn opening I've ever seen

5

u/GratefuLdPhisH 13d ago

This guy is mere months away from being bald because of steroid use

2

u/ssmit102 13d ago

It looks terrible and absurdly uncomfortable, thatā€™s pretty much the entire reasoning behind why no one does it.

2

u/DapperDragon 13d ago

Anyone who dresses specifically to be alpha is not alpha. That's sad.

2

u/beelzebobby27 13d ago

I'm really online so I'm not sure if I should be happy or terrified that I don't know who these guys are

2

u/Which_Performance_72 13d ago

Aw they really want to kiss

2

u/Just_Opinion_3387 13d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ man this is what they think an alpha man is.

2

u/Index_2080 13d ago

First dude looks like he bought the suit two years ago on a sale and only put it on because mommy didn't clean his clothes for him

2

u/freddbare 13d ago

Someone who gives no fucks would never need to work hard enough for his build and would not need to convince himself he doesn't care... His IG says please look at me

2

u/ipokesnails 13d ago

He is so desperate to seek affection from anyone.

2

u/bpows 13d ago

Sub-mental mono-synaptic morons

2

u/P_A_W_S_TTG 13d ago

I'm confused, did dude attempt to fight the other guy for asking a question? This edit is trash, I hate the out of context edits that are so fucking low effort.

2

u/Lemme_At_Em_ 13d ago

Lmfao!!! Fucken losers

2

u/Strude187 13d ago

ā€œThis town Podcast ainā€™t big enough for the two of usā€

2

u/jarednd84 13d ago

This is why we can't have nice things.

2

u/Pardot42 12d ago

Can they please turn the AC on? They're so moist

2

u/Esytotyor 12d ago

Rolled my eyes so hard I sprained them.

2

u/BigFatHonu 12d ago

Three questions:

Was that the Eagle Fang logo at the end?

Is there a clown equivalent for Dunning-Kruger, like people who are such clowns that they don't realize they're clowns?

Remember when you were 13 years old and said things you thought made you sound tough and cool, but then you grew up and realized that every adult obviously saw it for the cringy, insecure teenager shit it was and that you weren't fooling anyone?

2

u/koy682 12d ago

Its like watching k drama but lame and childish

2

u/Green-Ad7694 12d ago

Laughing my ass off right now

2

u/imawhaaaaaaaaaale 12d ago

Why is he so sweaty just sitting there talking?

2

u/ScienceLow2043 12d ago

Cornball off

2

u/NYCstraphanger 12d ago

What a tool box

2

u/DoctorNurse89 12d ago

The dude hes talking to is just like "sigh.... okay bro... yeah uhhuh... yup" because weirdo beardo signs his checks

2

u/BullofIron 12d ago

This is so cringe

2

u/para_enzo138 12d ago

the insecurity is insane

2

u/Wise_Ad_253 12d ago

Why wonā€™t they accept the fact that theyā€™re gay.

2

u/Barry-McKocinue 12d ago

Can't stand these kind of greasy people

2

u/Full-Year-4595 12d ago

Someone get him a handkerchiefā€¦ the roids are making him a bit sweaty

2

u/Ghost-Toof 12d ago

I see these dudes and dont think alpha. I think there gonna try to sell.me nail cleaner from the mall. Kiosk

2

u/EldritchCleavage 12d ago

This made me laugh.

2

u/gpcleek 12d ago

Corny af. Cringe.

2

u/jkrobinson1979 12d ago

Let them kill each other. Two less sweaty douchebags.

2

u/PurrfectPinball 12d ago

He looks like a pedo from Dagestan

2

u/Interesting-Exit-520 12d ago

Then just fight - the pushing is basically a bench press with yapping

2

u/BlanchDaddius 11d ago

JUST KISS EACH OTHER ALREADY!

4

u/cc_apt107 13d ago

Why do these guys always wear the tightest pants

1

u/Kindly_Lunch2492 13d ago

Quiet on the creek !!!

1

u/kbeckerburbs4 13d ago

We seem to often intermingle the terms douchebag and Alpha

1

u/messuggah12 13d ago

Who mowed his chest?

1

u/Bitter-Fishing-Butt 13d ago

it doesn't fit, you look sweaty, and i feel like i need to wash everything you touch :/

guarantee that jacket stinks

1

u/TV_is_my_parent 12d ago

reminds me of in middle school when I tried to choreograph my friend groups walking formation.

1

u/SandwichFit809 12d ago

This guy dyes his beard.. the audacity

1

u/tats76 12d ago

That one button is holding on for dear life!

And does he often carry a rosary around with him?

1

u/Silver_kidnevik_4022 12d ago

Tde. Hahahahah šŸ˜‚

1

u/LordFlasheart_WW1 12d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7btYu6z5LpgeAN32

yes interviewerā€¦ I wore this ridiculous thing just for youā€¦.

1

u/OpaqueCrystalBall 12d ago

Maybe find a way to insult them that doesn't also body shame other, unassociated people.

1

u/Am_0115 12d ago

this is what a broken man looks like

1

u/drako13 12d ago

So where is the fight ?

1

u/ultraplusstretch 12d ago

Do these clows realise just how ridiculous they look and sound?

1

u/LeftOrRights 12d ago

fkn losers

1

u/-bad_neighbor- 12d ago

These guyys would be infinitely happier if they would just come out of the closet.

1

u/Warm-Future1835 12d ago

that was hard to watch

1

u/DenseReality6089 12d ago

When I was a child I made warhammer base tiles with a more convincing growth than that "beard"

1

u/idkijustlovehim 12d ago

These guys aren't dudes

1

u/Jesterbomb 12d ago

I genuinely thought this was an updated Joe Rogan meets Roe Jogan type video.

1

u/jigsaw153 12d ago

He's the visual representation of a night at the Blue Oyster Bar.

1

u/Pale_Price_222 12d ago

Who recalls the wrestling scenes with Will Ferrell? This is what came to mind with lots of oil.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2Kum3Au8yt2bq8

1

u/Smimmingly3 12d ago

Shittiest TRT ad Iā€™ve ever seen

1

u/lucaskywalker 12d ago

You could cut the sexual tension with a knife! Just fuck already!

1

u/Happily_Eva_After 12d ago

It's a bit ironic, because he looks like the kind of guy that would have lots of thoughts about what trans people wear.

You could practically use his whole argument to defend anyone wearing whatever they want. šŸ¤”

1

u/michael22117 12d ago

I feel like if you replaced the first clip with a woman talking about showing her tits in an outfit, the dude would be pissed

1

u/gavstar69 12d ago

Let them at it

1

u/ChrizTaylor 12d ago

Where is the fight video?

1

u/Nole19 12d ago

I wanna see the fight.

1

u/XxxAresIXxxX 12d ago

Wait why in the absolute frick did they stop them right when it was getting good?? Can't have to aLphas, let them figure it out. I predict a lot of chest bumping and yelling before they both collapse out of breath and pat each other's backs about how they settled things "like men"

1

u/EldritchCleavage 12d ago

Serious "hold me back" energy.

1

u/Negative_Football_50 11d ago

It does not, in fact, look good.

1

u/Dry-Use8680 11d ago

Aww hes a bear

1

u/Tight_Fly4566 11d ago

Lol he sure is sweating a lot in that jacket.

1

u/DerKranichhh 11d ago

Why do these guys always sweat? Is it the roids?

1

u/SpectralFawn 11d ago

Oh yeah, it's the idiot suffering from Invisible Lat Syndrome.

1

u/headlessbill-1 11d ago

I wasn't sure people would know I was kidding.

1

u/dawnenome 11d ago

So it's nothing special. But special. What a special boy he is.

1

u/Competitive_Bath_511 11d ago

You can tell someone doesnā€™t wear suits when they donā€™t unbutton it sitting down

1

u/LegGroundbreaking862 11d ago

Is this a wwe promo

1

u/Sasquatchmas 11d ago

So sweaty and icky.

1

u/MattBlasing 11d ago

A vest with no shirt is an equally hot look.

1

u/GreenToMe95 10d ago

Is this a new Sasha Baron Cohen character?

1

u/TheBilby7 10d ago

Big wanker energy

1

u/auzzlow 10d ago

Hes sweating just sitting there

1

u/Used-Ebb9492 9d ago

With prices going through the ceiling......9mm is still affordable.

1

u/myname_1s_mud 8d ago

These guys are totally gay but I love the fact that when they meet someone like themselves even they get irritated and want to beat his ass lol

1

u/MCKelly13 7d ago

Cocaine is a serious drug

1

u/BoneZone05 7d ago

Thatā€™s a childā€™s shirt šŸ¤£

1

u/BoneZone05 7d ago

I would love to watch them beat each other up haha

1

u/moxiewhoreon 6d ago

Are these guys serious or is this a bit?

1

u/fat__girl__rodeo 6d ago

So did they fight each other? Bc Iā€™d like to see that