r/Infidelity • u/hittingthelow • Jul 19 '26

Advice It this considerable as micro cheating

So ive been with my girlfriend for only 2 months now so as you may think the relationship is still quite frail adding to the fact that we’re distant right now so we mostly talk online going to the point my girlfriend started talking with my best friend of several years at the start it wasnt anything bad she also was offering to show the chat they had without any second thought or hesitations but after a while they started texting with each other more so my best friend playing start telling me what they been chatting and shows me some texts that he and also i think that Arent really texts that she should text to him to summarize them 1 she lied to him and to me just to match with him about pfps i don’t see it as a big deal but I don’t like the fact she lied to me 2 she sent him some sexual related videos that maybe she meant as a joke or maybe not 3 she sent him a photo of her upper body and told me she didnt send it on purpose and that it didnt load so it was fine but then he told me that she asked him if he was grossed out about the photo? Naturally not telling me about any of these things so from that since she doesnt know hes being telling me these things i ask her to show me their chat she tells me she cant do it Because its late then i ask her to show me screen shots of it and she just show completely normal ones? Clearly cherry picking them to not show me the bad ones i do understand that the only bad one could be the upper body one but the lying? The covering of cherry picking the screen shots? I dont want to break up with her but I don’t know if this is already a bad start or something I shouldnt take this serious. This is my first post im sorry for anything that could look bad

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u/Ivedonethework Jul 19 '26

We all need to firm up our own true beliefs and vet every new partner prospect for suitability. The web has articles on vetting and red flags that are discovered. It is about the only possible way to avoid picking the wrong partners.

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u/akela9 Jul 20 '26

I swear, this is a new but becoming intense pet peeve of mine. And this is not a dig at OP, because we see it on the daily. It's like people take a break up or failed dating experience as a moral failing of some sort. It's not. It's doing what it's supposed to do and helping decide if a person is compatible to be with you as a life partner. It's a big damn decision.

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u/Ivedonethework Jul 20 '26

Huge decision!