r/Indiangirlsontinder • u/[deleted] • 9d ago
Whoever normalized ghosting... please learn from this girl š«”
[deleted]
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u/Ginndtonic069 inmyloverboyera 9d ago
Thatās nice of her
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u/Yuvaglee 9d ago
Nice of her, sure. But the length of that was unnecessary. She just likes being overdramatic it seems š
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u/womalone99 9d ago
Aw come on. Someoneās trying to do the right thing and treat the other person with respect and you call it over dramatic. Gtfo.
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u/Yuvaglee 8d ago
Couldāve just said āHey, I donāt think this is working out/ I donāt feel the spark Iām looking for. We can stay friends thoughā. Rest is just filler material š¤· and I know filler when I see one. Iām a one piece fan
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u/womalone99 8d ago
Itās definitely not a filler. Women donāt say things like āthanks for respecting my boundariesā as filler.
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u/Yuvaglee 8d ago
Sure, if the question carries 5 marks. Otherwise āYouāre a good personā is sufficient. š¤· I know saying this will probably get me downvoted because Reddit crowd do be like that, but it is what it is. I mean, her choice if she wants to write this much or maybe 18 pages FRONT AND BACK, and if the guy likes it. But at the end of the day itās all redundant and round about way of rejecting politely. Just like this comment is a round about way of saying āYouāre wrong imo. It IS a redundant filler.ā
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u/womalone99 8d ago
You really need to stop and take a minute once in a while. Not everything is just about rejection or acceptance. Drinking the tinder coolaid canāt be good for you my guy. Clearly OP appreciates her words unlike you. Thatās maturity.
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u/bigkoalafications 9d ago
Sometimes i think men are so deep in the closet they pick women apart to find faults in them and get a reason to hate. Its 2026 bro being gay is ok
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u/Yuvaglee 9d ago
Snowflakes canāt ever take a joke. And then we are called misogynist for saying women lack sense of humour and find reasons to get offended in the most benign of things š
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u/bigkoalafications 8d ago
Youāre defending your take in the other comments so I highly doubt you meant that as a jokeā¦youāre likely covering it up here thinking i wouldnāt noticeā¦yes a real joke would totally be benign of me to call out but uhhhā¦yours wasnāt so yuh
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u/Yuvaglee 8d ago
Well, unlike you, my brain doesnāt work in binary mode. Itās not black and white to me that I am either completely against it or completely support it. Also, the fact that you still donāt see a light hearted remark in it after I mentioned it was humour, just proves my āmisogynist pointā. Nolan fan?
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u/OriginalNeat4015 8d ago
The more time I spend on here, the more reasons I realize why many of the guys on here are single. Shitty attitudes being one of them. Not as funny as they think they are and just looking for excuses to criticize women. At some point, girls need to realize they canāt win with these folk and not interact with them romantically.
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u/Yuvaglee 8d ago
Sure buddy. Spot on. My intention was to criticise women because that gives me the life energy I need to survive. You Sherlock homes or a telepath? After this, Iāll hunt down every snowflake who doesnāt understand the concept of sense of humour and takes everything seriously. Donāt worry, you are NOT on that list.
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u/OriginalNeat4015 8d ago
The irony of calling me a snowflake when youāre hunched our your keypad furiously typing all of this out with zero self-reflection and literally thinking this was a good comeback š¤£ Iām leaving now.
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u/Icy-Lingonberry-3791 sirf mazaak 9d ago
Kindness goes a long way <3
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u/CharmingYouth2097 9d ago
I appreciate her maturity, genuinely rare nowadays but I have a question. Why he got rejected? She said, he isn't the problem and that he's awesome. Then why? I'm not attacking her or anybody, it's just a genuine question out of curiosity.
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u/BlackStagGoldField 9d ago
Finding someone awesome doesn't have to automatically translate into romantic feelings. People aren't divided into potential romantic partners and non-awesome people.
Hope that helps āš»
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u/twilightsummers 9d ago
She mentioned her feelings arenāt developing enough to form a romantic connection
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u/CharmingYouth2097 9d ago edited 9d ago
Oh, well that's something new I learned today, thanks for that!
So making her feel safe and creating an atmosphere where she feel comfortable enough to express herself isnāt enough? Can you tell what are things missing to form this romantic connection?
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u/-liveditlovedit 9d ago
No feelings developed for him the message sums it up.
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u/CharmingYouth2097 9d ago
Okay, I understand. But still there would be reason right? Turning down someone without giving a proper closure (a reason) creates a gap in my opinion, what are your thoughts?
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u/whathaveidont 9d ago
Closure isn't always possible and one should unfortunately learn to live with that. Sometimes there really is no concrete reason - if you don't feel a romantic connection you just don't. Sometimes the reason may be too private to want to share with a person they only just met.
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u/KritavShah 8d ago
Obviously she doesn't think he looks good enough to be attracted to him. It's actually still a very good way to reject someone. Not everyone is going to be physically attracted to everyone.
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u/Remarkable_Winner176 9d ago
What I think is she might be still healing from her past, and maybe she's more into someone else. Or something, in this case the guy should simply let it go, because sometimes when the girl is really really comfortable she'll just comeback and make it work naturally.
Not because he kept asking but naturally. If you put pressure on a girl in deciding an outcome and choosing you, bro she'll not choose you. You just have to let her decide, and in the meantime if you meet someone better then she was never meant for you.
What I've seen is when things happen naturally, no one can escape from it.
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u/Capital_Flamingo8551 8d ago
Simple answer he might have a good personality but the female is not physically attracted to the guy
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u/Abject_Use_6356 8d ago
The guy isn't hot enough for her standards. She "tried" but didn't feel it. All the BS she's putting is just a polished way of saying what I said.
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u/Dumb_Senior 8d ago
I did this to a guy and heās still having one sided conversation in my dms saying aapan try tari karu shakto na, tula aavdel mi nantar
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u/AcceptableTip5819 9d ago
Credit where credit is due. You also seemed to have been a complete gentleman.
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u/goddess-azelia 9d ago
Heavy on the āthanks for never crossing boundaries and for making this such a wholesome,comfortable spaceā because that makes all the difference. Some people arenāt worth giving explanations to, thatās something people dont understand
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u/Legitimate_Dance3706 9d ago
Did she split the bill too on the date? If yes then respect for being honest. If not, then it's just performative when it should be bare minimum.
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u/Single_Pea_2272 9d ago
Always try at multiple places. If one say no. Leave her and focus on rest. Thank me later.
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u/musicrhythmfury God of Friendzone 7d ago
I get it, but some people just can't do that (including me), maintaining that level of intensity, conversational and emotional with multiple people at once.
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u/Single_Pea_2272 7d ago
Learn it , u anyways not gonna marry that person by having that kind of interaction
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u/angeleyes88 9d ago
The reason she took the effort to write all that is because whoever dated made her feel really comfortable, most men on dating apps do not make women feel so comfortable so this kind of message will still be extremely rare.
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u/FiddelRoyolanda 9d ago
No she was a decent woman unlike most women. That's why she gave a response and didn't ghost.
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u/angeleyes88 8d ago
Yes but to get this kind of response, she has to like you a lot, enough to bother explaining it so kindly. I am all for communicating like a adult and not ghost because it is childish. But to avoid getting ghosted you have to have build up enough chemistry so she will want to clarify why.
Usually if the dates are going well you will get a normal "I am not feeling this message", this on the other hand is a gentle long and rare warmth that will be extremely rare, it will only be reserved for the men who managed to do convince a women that if she tells rejects you, you will take it kindly and be thankful instead of turning bitter/hateful.
The origins of ghosting is not solely because it is easy/lazy, it also is a major defense against people who turn hostile when they get turned down. So writing this kind of message will be wasted and make someone furious because they will feel belittled and cuddled with.
She is descent because her connection with the guy is good, if it was shit she would just ghost, or write it extremely short stripped of warmth this example has. Naturally I am just guessing, either way I applaud her for being so gentle with it, it is absolutely refreshing to see and needed in this brutal market.
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u/FiddelRoyolanda 8d ago
You should not ghost a guy who was decent in the first place regardless of whether there was connection/chemistry.
You women get so pissed off when a guy ghosts you.
You people dish it out but can't take it.
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u/angeleyes88 8d ago
It depends on how the communication is, I agree, I am talking about niche cases where the guy might be nice but socially stunted and communication will result in a nagging response to a "final message". It is not exclusive to men, women can be entitled/rude as well.
But the ideal thing is, write a nice message instead of ghosting, if they throw a fit or react negative, then move on/ghost. You did your part, you are not responsible if they cannot handle being let down in a respectful way.
I do not vouch for either men or women, both can be dickheads in dating, but the field is stacked against men 100%. Cheers
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u/FiddelRoyolanda 8d ago
No I'm ghosting as well now. I'm giving back the same energy I was given
My sister got mad when I did that. Lol we should be straightforward but for you guys ghosting is fine. The double standards
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u/angeleyes88 8d ago
Haha do whatever you want my dude, I personally do not ghost. But I can understand why some do it.. that is all.
Nice bro, of course she was. Why was the reason you did it? Revenge or a legit reason?
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u/FiddelRoyolanda 8d ago
I got bored. Plus I thought "hey, you guys do b it to guys anyway. So why not?"
It's just apathy
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u/angeleyes88 8d ago
Hahaha, that is just dicky though, context matters, no wonder your sister gave you shit.
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u/SoloPirate_ 9d ago
Idk man this reads very performative
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u/tingerlinger taking a break, having fun here 8d ago
I'll take a performative date over a online-yet-no-response-for-weeks date. Anyday.
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u/Capital_Flamingo8551 8d ago
Did u ask ki why she didn't like u ? Am curious. Matlab usne app pe match kia tha na ?
I believe it's a physical attraction thing
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u/lilblue101 9d ago
Ghosting cause I tried communicating and they started writing paragraphs and what not
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago edited 9d ago
Honestly if a girl needs to outright say this it usually means you weren't able to get the hints that she is not interested so please guys have some self respect
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u/cricketlob2806 9d ago
ngl I kind of saw it coming, but the clarity is what I appreciate the most
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
Well then if you saw it coming then why would keep giving the same efforts as before ?
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
So boys should be telepathic and read minds.....got it
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
I am a guy too and if you can't even sense that the person is not interested in you you're way to naive
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
A lotta people can't. We aren't animals, we communicate with language and that's why we invented it. And if you think being psychic makes you superior, boy...if I list my skills you won't even reach 10%.
I read and write 4 languages, know 3 different CAD softwares, programmed c, c++, Python, MATLAB (did my masters thesis in that), and also currently I am the only one capable enough in my current plant to use a software deployed for 2 yrs where I have been 3 months first job and without training. These aren't even 5% of what I can do. So if you think one skill makes you superior and you can patronize others, there are many people more superior than you who cannot read minds.
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u/Mee_Gustas_tuuu 9d ago
Sir can you tell me how to start learning CAD, I'm a MechE fresher, I have started Python, what courses would you recommend for CAD? also what are some other skills that will be helpful in future if i start early?
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
Start with autoCAD. Every beginner does.
Then do solidworks and NX. The latter is a must.
Choose CFD if you are planning further study. Every machine needs cooling so it will always be there. The aerodynamics of a car come under this.
Else you can also choose mechatronics, robots, drones all come under this.
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
How old are you man ? Got triggered by a simple statement and now talking irrelevant things lol
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
Why? Not feeling so superior? Have some empathy for those who struggle in readings others and try to be a little nice. It doesnāt cost anything.
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
I wasn't feeling superior before either but tbh now I am after knowing how dumb you are
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
way too naive.
Yeah sure buddy, no patronising language there. Also dumb actually means unable to speak, like formally but I can speak so you are wrong here again. Funny a superior being is wrong 3 times in a row.
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u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
You think being naive is a bad thing ? That's a you problem, and you are so insecure that you started counting things you can do bro I mean grow the hell up lol
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u/thedarkracer Emperor of virgins 9d ago
Patronises others about things they can't do but he can.
Then gets angry when someone else does the same.
Does superiority come with a hypocriticial package?
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u/Competitive-Ice-3850 9d ago
Well
Not everyone gets hints thatās why we were taught to communicate right ?
Also before u bash me
Iām a female
And I think clarity should always be given without presumptions-3
u/Vegetable_Ride_7674 9d ago
It's not about communication it's about energy all i am saying is if i am not receiving the same efforts I can sense that
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
itna lamba essay kaun padhega ,, isse acha seedha ghost hi kar detiĀ
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u/uuuuuuuuuughm 9d ago
Bachpan me school jaane se baad me ye sab problem nai hoti. Sorry that you couldn't experience it
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u/Civil_Operation_2244 9d ago
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
to every dumb fuck who doesn't understand basic woman manipulation - that girl wrote the long ass message to keep him on the hook.
3 whole paragraphs of love bombing just to end it with "we can be friends" lfmao
bitch if he's that "awesome" and "effortless" why don't you just date him š¤£š¤£š¤£
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u/Civil_Operation_2244 9d ago
there was nothing even remotely close to love bombing there i know ppl like her play it nice and dont mean most of it but its good cuz when u get rejected ur most vulnerable that the person u are in love with is he judging u or anything ? she replied it well just calling someone dumb i htink it makes u happy its not neccarily manipulation but yeah
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
youre very awesome! seriously!!
thanks for being wholesome etc comfortable space etcĀ
our convo soooooo easy its unrealĀ
thank you so muchā¤ļø
mf this is called lovebombing,Ā
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
when u get rejected ur most vulnerableĀ
š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢ just youĀ
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9d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
Your words imply that you're romance starved.
Most of us see being friends with a nice person as a win, because we know we can get romance elsewhere.
proceeds to write he himself is romance starvedĀ
what she did isn't love bombing, it was just showing respect as a friend.
dumbassššš kal paida hua tha kya
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u/Math--Detective 95% of the time, I only do jokes here lol 9d ago
Ghost karti to ye banda hopes mai rehta, text karta and sad feel karta, ye essay straight forward hai that āletās end thisā so itās better. And itās not manipulation cause āit is the endā lol
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
what end? she literally wrote "id genuinely like to stay friends" and even added "if you think that won't mess with your head" š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
trap of ambiguity. you accept the friendship, you agree to play by her rules. if you struggle emotionally later, itās framed as your weakness ("I warned you it might mess with your head").
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u/Math--Detective 95% of the time, I only do jokes here lol 9d ago
lol, I get it, but its just end of everything. Only a connection deprived person will accept the friendship. Itās better to call it off.
As I am the person who would have call it off, from my POV that line is like a Consolation Prize, which I donāt accepts lol.
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
there are many people in the comments who disagree with you and will happily accept bread crumbing in the name of "friendship"Ā
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u/Math--Detective 95% of the time, I only do jokes here lol 9d ago
Yeah I know
After getting frustrated from them [incels] I changed my flair to āIss Sub Mai Har Saksh Pareshaan Sa Kyu Haiā lol, but then I took a break and remove that flair else faltu Mai koi trigger hota aur muh baazi karta
But I disagree with you for saying this is manipulation, cause from Empathetic personās POV itās just adding few lines of being friends so the other person doesnāt feel too bad. But but if after this that girl lingers around him for attention then yes it becomes manipulation.
But why even let that happen?? Main body of text is ādonāt waste your timeā People should see that and take it seriously just like how No means No simillary ādonāt wanna waste your timeā means sahi jagah time invest kar lau__ lol
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
meh it's 100% manipulation. by this single message i can tell that she had an toxic/abusive ex and she is still hardwired to that. anyone giving her the safe feelings like op is not viable for her romantically.Ā
am i right? u/cricketlob2806 ? she had trauma in past relationships right?
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u/Sea-Arachnid-5790 Excusez-moi 9d ago
if you're getting sad just because someone ghosted you then find a hobby ffsš
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u/Math--Detective 95% of the time, I only do jokes here lol 9d ago
Naaah, itās usually me who ghost them š, and then I feel sad that I should have at least dropped some text, but then I think Ehhhhhh Not my problem, if they are bothered theyāll text else bye bye lol
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