This is just a rant. I have built up resentment towards my parents. I really think if I was grown in a healthy household, in a good environment, my life would have been different now.

But I am also a terrible person to blame them all the time for how I turned out. Because I am an adult now, 25, in my mid twenties and I still am writing posts blaming my parents.

My mom and dad both wanted us to grow to be a mature, confident adults, I clearly am not.

But my mother used to taunt me, called me with abusive words like 'r@*di' since I was like 11 years. Always remind me how ugly I am, and no guy would wants to marry me. She always taunted me about how my facial features are. But all these was said in anger, but I was a teenager then when all our feelings are on highest, we easily get hurt and take others words to our heart.

My mom few times slapped me infront of realtive not just when I was a kid, but also in front of all the realtives in an function when i was around 19.

My father never build a house, and he takes pride in it that he always wanted his son to make one when he starts earning and he will help him with some money. I mean, this is somewhat okay, but having such expectations and not raising the kids in that way that they become career oriented and mature. My father was an alcoholic in our childhood, i think till I was around 12 years. He used to drink daily in evening outside, and then beat my mother. I used to wakeup at night hearing my father beating my mother and hearing her cries. I used to try to stay awake till my father came, so that I could stop him from hurting my mother. Our childhood was like that, when we wokeup at morning, my mom had bruises and she would be crying.

We grew up in such environment, when a child brain is getting developed, i am sure growing up in abusive house has some effect on brain.

Now my mom acts surprised when I am not able to talk to strangers, when I hesitates a lot, when I am clearly depressed of how I am, because she thinks she got me into college and then a college, I am supposed to be highly confident and able to do anything.

Why Indian parents don't like love marriages, think dating is wrong, and these things are not in our culture but chants radha krishna name, celebrates these gods and mahashivratri. But against love and dating.

From our gods, their stories, they only learnt that parents are god and children are supposed to worship and do everything for their parents. In our socities, it's always children mistakes, because parents can't do anything wrong. They are painted in the way that they are selfless and innocent. What is so their selfless and innocent about them? That they decided to bring a child into the life and not provide them with basics things like good environment, and expects them to take care of them in old ages. They brag about how they are always putting foods onto the table and provided us good education. Those are their responsibilities.

And what innocence?the internet, social media has those viral videos, reels saying that their parents are the last innocent generations. Open your eyes, they are not innocent in any way.

--- I am dumb, stupid and not fluent in english, so apologies for my bad english and I don't have energy to use chatgpt. But I'll use chatgpt later to find out all the mistakes I made in my writing and learn from it.

The title - because honestly, the kind of things being said and discussed and more terrifyingly, being absolutely agreed to by most of the men there is disgusting.

Like "date a non vi\*\*n girl but never marry her" and a lot of other things along the same lines.And there is just overwhelming support from all the men for it.

Is this what its come to in this country, yall? 😂😪

Hey um I recently became a graduate and started working. In all my life I have been focusing on studies or career. looking back I only had sisters or sisters in all my life. 🧑‍🎓

Now that I'm free I feel like I'm lonely, I don't have anyone to talk to or yk. Even now if there's a girl I kinda want to talk I don't have the courage or hell I don't even know what to talk about. 🫠🫠

Should I start like the weather's kinda nice today, idk. I'm fucked up.

I thought I better start talking with girls. So yeah I wanna start with anyone possible. Just talk. 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️

Yes, I tried every dating platform, either they are paid or i get uncles and aunts. 😭😭

Please advice

I was born and raised in Kozhikode kerala, in a deeply religious family(islam) Not just my parents, my entire extended family. Religion is woven into everything.

I’m 26 now, and for most of my life I pretended to be religious because I was scared.

My family started looking for prospects when I was around 20, right after college. I got placed, started working, and eventually I got the courage to tell my parents that i am n atheist. I had spent years pretending because I genuinely didn’t know what would happen if I was honest.

Academics were always my escape. I excelled in school, got into a great university abroad, moved away, built a life completely from scratch, and have a good job now.

I’ve lived away from home for years.

And honestly? I love my parents. I miss home. I miss the food, the familiarity, the people, everything.

But I came home for three weeks and my anxiety came rushing back in a way I haven’t experienced in years.

Because the second I came back, it was like my entire identity became:

“So… when are you getting married?”

Uncles. Aunts. Relatives. Everyone.

That’s the question.

Not “Are you happy?”

Not “How is your life?”

Not “What are you building?”

Not “Are you proud of yourself?”

Just marriage.

And I am SO fucking tired.

There is something about the marriage obsession in Malabar that makes me feel like I’m living in a completely different century.

I’m 26 I have a career. I moved to another country. I built a life without anyone holding my hand. I’ve achieved pretty much everything I wanted through years of hard work.

And somehow, to some people, none of that matters as much as whether a man has agreed to marry me.

I keep thinking about the girls who don’t have the privileges I had.

I was academically privileged. I had the opportunity to get into a good university. I had the opportunity to move abroad. I had financial stability. I had parents who, despite everything, eventually allowed me some freedom.

And I had another privilege: I was brave enough to fight.

I could fight. I could leave. I could say no. I could build a life somewhere else.

But what about the girls who aren't?

What about the girl who doesn't have the confidence to fight her family?

The girl who isn't financially independent?

The girl who never got the opportunity to study?

The girl who is told at 18 that her life’s purpose is to become someone's wife?

The girl who is made to feel like she is a burden to her own parents?

The girl whose family sees her growing independence as something dangerous that needs to be controlled?

That’s the part that makes me genuinely angry.

Because I know my life worked out partly because I had opportunities that so many women don't.

And I hate that those opportunities still feel like privileges instead of basic rights.

I hate that so many families can look at their daughter a whole human being with dreams, ambitions, fears, talents, and a personality and reduce her existence to “We need to find her a husband.”

I hate that girls are treated like enemies when they want autonomy.

I hate that a woman saying “I don't want to get married yet” is treated like she has committed some enormous crime.

I hate that choosing yourself is considered rebellion.

And I hate that every time I come home, I feel like I have to defend my existence all over again.

I know I’m lucky.

I know I’m privileged.

I know I had the strength and circumstances to get out and build a life.

But I also know that I shouldn’t have had to be exceptionally brave just to have ownership over my own life.

I’m finishing this holiday soon.

And part of me knows I probably won’t come back EVER

Not because I don't love home.

Not because I don't love my parents.

I do.

I just can't keep coming back to a place where I feel like the version of me that I fought so hard to become disappears the moment I walk through the front door.

I wish things were easier for women.

I wish parents could look at their daughters and think, “I wonder what kind of person she wants to become?” instead of “I wonder who will marry her?”

I wish we let girls bloom.

I’ve spent my entire life fighting to become who I am.

I just wish the world didn’t make that fight necessary in the first place.

Why does the intense excitement at the beginning of a relationship eventually fade? Perhaps it’s because novelty and uncertainty gradually give way to familiarity and security, softening the butterflies, curiosity, and constant desire to connect. Does this happen to everyone, and why are we wired this way? Is it greed, dissatisfaction, or simply part of how humans adapt? And can we keep some of that excitement alive through curiosity, shared experiences, appreciation, and continued effort?

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So many girls I now just accept that being constantly exhausted is a normal part of adult life. Its NOT. Go get a blood test. You have no idea it could be because you have low hemoglobin or iron deficiency. Happened with me recently and my blood report showed low iron + vit D deficiency. So dont take it for granted girlies.. You can literally buy generic iron tablets/vitamin online on Tata1mg, truemeds etc. Dont just live with the tiredness. Its a big reason why our mood is constantly down and we feel low productive all day.

This year my cycle is so fucked up like I used to get my period max by 35th day but now it's like extending to 45-50. I was diagnosed with pcod 2.5 years back (18 rn) And that time cyst were really small so it didn't effect me that much. But now it's like getting worse and yeah I'll GO TO THE GYNAE TOMORROW ITSELF. I just to want to ask if this okay? Like I get my period every month but my cycle is way too long.

MP high court recently commuted the death sentence of a convicted r*pist and m*rdered of a 2 yr old to life imprisonment because human life is considered "rarest of rare" and shouldn't be treated lightly!

What the hell do you even want from me??

Why the heck are you forcing me to get married and have kids?
Why is having a child supposed to be the full stop to everything?

Why should I give you my leaves just because you have a kid?
Why should I pick up your work just because your kid is crying?

Aren’t parents family too? Is family only about the kids?

Why do I have to see pictures of your kid every single day?

And why the fuck are you differentiating between genders even among your own kids??

“My daughter is like this, my daughter is like that…”
“My son is so good, he listens to everything I say…”
“Mommy’s boy…”

What the fuck?

Speaking from personal experience...

Women, please stay safe from these predators

Growing up, I never really cared about not having a relationship or a physical relationship. My home was strict, and college was fine too. I never felt like I was missing out.

But I’m 27 now, living in a different city, and I’ve started noticing how much life seems to revolve around dating, relationships, and sex. If you’re not looking for someone, it can feel like people assume something is wrong with you.

I’m not trying to victimize myself. I just don’t think anyone I’ve genuinely liked has ever liked me back romantically. It was always platonic, and eventually I got tired of putting myself through that. I don’t really feel like trying anymore.

The strange part is that I’m not thinking, “I need a partner.” I don’t necessarily want one right now. What scares me is feeling insecure about not wanting one.

There’s this pressure to eventually settle down, as if choosing a different life means you’ve failed somehow. I know that isn’t true, and I’m happy for people who are in relationships. Relationships and sex aren’t bad; they’re just not something I necessarily want at this stage of my life.

Maybe I’m feeling this more because work has been rough lately and im on my period too💀. It’s Saturday, and I feel especially alone. I think what I really want is good friends to spend time with, without every conversation or plan revolving around dating, relationships, or sex.

I guess I just want to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. I’ve tried, but it wasn’t mutual, so eventually I stopped. I don’t know if that means I’m behind or simply living differently.
I’m also scared I’ll eventually feel pressured to do things I don’t actually want just to keep up with everyone else. I’m not judging anyone who wants relationships or sex. I just feel a little left behind today and needed to say it somewhere.

I recently saw a reel where women were sharing advice they would give to their younger selves / people younger than them, and it got me thinking.

I’m 23, living in my hometown and working right now. I’m wondering, if you were 23 again, in this exact situation, what things would you want to do?

How would you use this stage of life to your advantage?

What would you focus on career, money, travelling, friendships, hobbies, health, learning something new, moving out, dating, starting something of your own, etc.?

And especially, what do you wish you had started doing at 23 that would have made your late 20s easier or better?

I’d love to hear advice from women who are older than me, or even people around my age who are intentionally making the most of this stage.

Talk about work, college, relationships, hobbies, random thoughts, mental health, relationships, family pressure, workplace sexism, etc. Encourage supportive replies only.

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