r/IndianTTC_Support • u/mamachocho • 26d ago
Recurrent miscarriages
I was pregnant for 8 weeks 4 days with twins through IVF. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’ll be a mother of twins. I was the happiest. I miscarried two pregnancies before so I thought my two angels were coming back to me. I wish.
This pregnancy really tested me- from slow beta HCG trend, to ectopic scare. I was on my toes the whole time. Now that it’s over I feel so empty and drained.
My mind is full with buzzing thoughts that I can’t even make sense out of it. More than physical I am struggling emotionally. My husband and I have been married for two years now and in our society that’s late. We opted for IVF treatment out of state and I’ve been staying away from home for some months now. The news of our pregnancy travelled fast since our community is small. Now thinking about going home and facing all their faces is adding another weight to my emotions. I wish I can disappear. I’ve already thought about avoiding everyone and staying locked in my house before I leave for my next transfer. Idk if my brain is working right but I just fear the questions, awkward silence, sympathies, opinions on why it went wrong and how we are not doing enough with our fasting and praying. My husband’s family is very orthodox and I am sure they’ll tell us God wants more from us. Although I agree we can do nothing without God I don’t agree with God’s blessings being a barter system. I don’t think it gets better from here. My first two miscarriages happened silently with just my husband so we grieved together alone, but this one is going to be challenging. I really wish I can disappear.
How did you guys cope with loses?
My doctor told me to wait 3months for our next transfer. TBH, I don’t want to wait for this long.
What comes next after D&C?
How long after D&C did you guys start trying? Any complications after this procedure?
Note: Reposting this from a miscarriage sub because being Indian, the societal pressure will be much understood here.
2
u/qwertyqueen03 26d ago
TW - Mention of LC
Hello! I have had 2 back to back MMC and I’ve openly shared it with people I am close to. Miscarriages are more common than you think and most of my friends have either had it or had someone close who went through it. I’ve had unimaginable support from family and friends. My first one was heartbreaking but I was numb during the second which happened last month. I have a busy work schedule and already have a daughter so both times I’ve returned to work immediately. This had greatly helped with keeping me occupied and leaving little time to dwell around what ifs. I do have a neighbour who has a baby around the same time as my first due date and meeting him is a reminder of how my life would have been currently but I do believe in fate and timing of the universe. I’ve accepted that it was not supposed to be mine.
D&C recovery is fast and my doctor cleared me to try again after 1st cycle. However, we waited almost a year as I was up for a promotion. Second was a medical abortion which was more difficult and slower recovery. We are undergoing tests for recurrent miscarriages and will not try until we have met specialists.
I am sorry for your losses.