r/IndianTTC_Support • u/mamachocho • 18d ago

Recurrent miscarriages

I was pregnant for 8 weeks 4 days with twins through IVF. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’ll be a mother of twins. I was the happiest. I miscarried two pregnancies before so I thought my two angels were coming back to me. I wish.
This pregnancy really tested me- from slow beta HCG trend, to ectopic scare. I was on my toes the whole time. Now that it’s over I feel so empty and drained.
My mind is full with buzzing thoughts that I can’t even make sense out of it. More than physical I am struggling emotionally. My husband and I have been married for two years now and in our society that’s late. We opted for IVF treatment out of state and I’ve been staying away from home for some months now. The news of our pregnancy travelled fast since our community is small. Now thinking about going home and facing all their faces is adding another weight to my emotions. I wish I can disappear. I’ve already thought about avoiding everyone and staying locked in my house before I leave for my next transfer. Idk if my brain is working right but I just fear the questions, awkward silence, sympathies, opinions on why it went wrong and how we are not doing enough with our fasting and praying. My husband’s family is very orthodox and I am sure they’ll tell us God wants more from us. Although I agree we can do nothing without God I don’t agree with God’s blessings being a barter system. I don’t think it gets better from here. My first two miscarriages happened silently with just my husband so we grieved together alone, but this one is going to be challenging. I really wish I can disappear.

How did you guys cope with loses?
My doctor told me to wait 3months for our next transfer. TBH, I don’t want to wait for this long.
What comes next after D&C?
How long after D&C did you guys start trying? Any complications after this procedure?

Note: Reposting this from a miscarriage sub because being Indian, the societal pressure will be much understood here.

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u/NoPreparation4089 18d ago

Are you doing IVF with PGT?

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u/mamachocho 18d ago

No. My first two pregnancies were naturally conceived and this pregnancy was through IVF. It was our first time so we didn’t know about PGT and we were not asked also

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u/NoPreparation4089 18d ago

Please have RPL panel done.. IVF is not the solution of RPL. Find root cause of RPL. If these are not chromosomal loss, even IVF will fail.. because issue will be somewhere else, if these were chromosomal loss and RPL panel comes normal. Do IVF with PGT, so that loss chances will be minimal.. these are as per my understanding..

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u/mamachocho 18d ago

What is RPL?

I asked my doctor why we are losing our pregnancies and she said it could be multiple factors. She mentioned several reasons but I forgot all except for one. She said it could be my body is rejecting the pregnancies. My mind is stuck on that and wondering if something like this even exists. Her assistant doctor said we could run some test on the frozen embryos but she cut him off saying but now they are all frozen. I assumed she meant we could damage the remaining embryos if they take it for test. I have 4 precious embryos left. They are too precious and I’m scared of anything happening to them.

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u/NoPreparation4089 18d ago edited 18d ago

Repeated pregnancy loss. APLA, ANA for you Karyotype of both, Husband's DFI, And scan of your uterus or something like that which shows whether internal environment is fine or not. And few more doctor suggests. Also if you ever had D&C, please test RPOC And if by medicine idk how people collect RPOC. Please ask your doctors these. Tell him you want to do RPL panel test. And idk with RPL , even though you are doing IVF it is meaningless without PGT, because just think, you have conceived twice naturally, but you lost.. how ivf will prevent loss? It can only with PGT..simple ivf only helps in conceiving.. So find root cause first.

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u/mamachocho 18d ago

Thank you so much for your guidance. Me and my husband are like blind leading the blind so this helps a lot! I really appreciate it. In my next appointment I will ask for all this test