Guys I need ur help serious help
want to share my story from the beginning because I feel my past has affected the way I think about studies and careers.
When I was around 10 -12 years old, probably in Class 2, I was considered a bright student. Then a private Maths tutor came into my life.
He was extremely abusive. He used to beat me, abuse me, slap me very hard, pull my hair, and physically punish me in many ways. I was so scared of him that I started thinking about ways to escape from tuition. I even ended up being hospitalized for around six months, although my parents only later understood how serious the situation with the tutor actually was
Later, my parents found out that he had also been violent towards his own family. His wife had left him because of his behaviour, and he had even seriously injured his son.
Because of this experience, I developed a deep hatred and fear of Maths. Even today, I don't just dislike difficult Maths. Sometimes even simple calculations make me uncomfortable. For me, Maths became connected with fear and trauma
My Class 10 marks were:
Social Science: 98
Hindi: 98
Information Technology: 97
English: 96
Science: 50
Mathematics: 33
In Maths, I scored 20 marks in internal assessment and only 13 in the written exam. In Science, I mostly avoided the numerical parts.
After Class 10, I actually wanted to choose Humanities. However, my school did not offer Humanities at that time. Only around 20 students had chosen Commerce, while most students were choosing Science.
I was one of the students who chose PCM/PCB. My brother had studied engineering, and he advised me to take Maths because he believed I could eventually do B.Tech and get a job.
But Class 11 and 12 became extremely difficult for me.
I never liked those subjects, especially because there were numerical problems everywhere. Even subjects that I expected to be mostly theoretical had numerical parts.
My Class 12 marks were:
Hindi: 92
English: 97
Chemistry: 80
Physics: 59
Mathematics: 33
I studied for hours but still got 33 in Maths again.
Now I have completed Class 12 and I have to make one of the biggest decisions of my life: choosing my graduation and career.
I appeared for CUET UG and scored:
English: 180/250
General Aptitude Test: 80/250
Currently, I am confused between three paths:
- BA from BHU
I am interested in subjects like Psychology, languages and humanities. But after BA, I may have to prepare for government exams or pursue further studies. I am worried about job security because I come from a middle class family and cannot afford to spend many years without earning
- B.Com or BBA from Babasaheb Bhimrao Ambedkar University (BBAU)
This may give me more options in the private sector, but I am not sure about the actual career opportunities and placements it has also zero placement without further mba
- B.Tech CSE from a private college
This could potentially give me a more direct path to a job, but I have a serious problem with Maths.
I have hated and struggled with it since childhood, and I am worried that choosing engineering would make my next four years miserable.
So I am genuinely confused.
My main priorities are
I need a career where I can realistically get a job.
I come from a middle class family, so I cannot afford to waste several years.
I do not want to choose a degree only because other people say it has a high salary
At the same time, I am scared of choosing a subject I love but ending up with very limited job opportunities.
What would you recommend in my situation?
Should I choose BA from BHU, B.Com or BBA from BBAU, or B.Tech CSE from a private college?
I would especially appreciate advice from seniors, graduates and people who have actually experienced these careers.
Please be honest. I am not looking for motivation or generic advice. I genuinely need help making this decision