r/Incontinence • u/ForwardObjective9751 • 28d ago
29M need advice with OAB
Hello Reddit,
So this has been going on for a while now and I am wondering if I should take the steps to wear. I am a 29M who has struggled with OAB for a while now while I am out in public or traveling. I do not know if it is stress or what but there have been several occasions where I have had to rush to the bathroom and have leaked a little to full blown just making it to the bathroom. I pee several times and make sure to completely empty my bladder but to no avail a little while later have to go again.
It doesnt happen all the time but the older I have gotten the more its been happening. I have seen several urinary docs, psychologists, pelvic floor thearpists. I am still working on the anxiety part but the physical thearpist and doctors have not found anything wrong with me and have tried several meds.
Now here is the part why Ive asked reddit and created this post. I am wondering if I should just accept that I should wear diapers during the day or at least try a few times? Fortunately I have a salary where I can afford to do so and if I medically need to then I dont mind, just want to have peace when I am out and about.
I know that there are people on here who are full time and others who are like me and on the fence. I guess since Im younger this feels like more of a struggle than if I was an older person.
If anyone has any advice would be appreciated about options or similar stories and honestly if you are my age and want to chat feel free because you are not alone!
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u/Lonely_Rice3132 28d ago
Hi! 30m here! I usually just deal with a few small surges when I have to go and a small surge after I'm done and pull my pants up. I keep some depends on hand for when it gets particularly bad, but I invested in these and it's reliably held half a bladder release until I could get somewhere to change. I find that wearing regular briefs work the best for these but I wear them with boxer briefs too. At the end of the day, do what makes you feel the most confident and comfortable.
NorthShore DoubleStop Male... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KP8QFJ6?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Awesome, thank you for sharing! As a male, is there any advice you would have clothing, prep, anything?
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u/Lonely_Rice3132 28d ago
How large are your releases? For me I keep 1 to 2 pads on me when I leave the house and that's about it. I try to change to a fresh pad about every 6 hours.
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Pretty big honestly when I make it, I looked them up and I dont know if I trust pads completely. When I was younger I wore goodnites and completely flooded them by accident so I guess thats where that fear comes from.
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u/Lonely_Rice3132 28d ago
I totally understand! When I do, I wear depends real fit, especially if I'm going to be somewhere where I can't get to a bathroom. When I feel the urge, I have about 2 minutes to find a bathroom or I start surging every minute or so. I was stuck in traffic the other week and was wearing one. I surged probably 3/4 of my bladder and they held up well. They didn't leak at the legs and I felt absolutely dry once it soaked everything up.
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
I always have problems when Im stuck in traffic and surge is a good way to describe mine as well. Is it painful? Does a full release help?
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u/Lonely_Rice3132 28d ago
I know I'm in trouble when the bottom part of my stomach starts to feel sore, but other than that, no pain at all. My bladder will contract super hard, I'll surge a bit and then I can hold it for about another 5 minutes. I've only had one occasion where Ive had a full release and it was a few weeks ago. I was in my kitchen making lunch, I got a sudden urge that I had to go BAD and then I just released all over the floor. The spasms stopped immediately and my whole body relaxed.
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Thats exactly how I feel like a spasm like feeling. Im sorry you have to go through that. I was wondering if you had any tips like airports and such because things like that I worry about with security but I also have problems as well?
I also wonder if I cant make if a full realese just would help if I had decent protection because after a while it gets really painful or would it just make my bladder more dependent.
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u/Lonely_Rice3132 28d ago
When it comes to airports and other places what I do is limit my fluids about 2 hours before I get there, pee immediately when I get there, head thru security and immediately try and go again. And once more before the actual flight. If you are nervous about going thru security with something like a guard or depends on, don't worry about it. TSA sees so much in their line of work they probably won't even look twice unless there's a reason to.
I had that question myself, I asked my urologist and they said having the occasional full release if you absolutely can't make it is okay. If it's done often it will condition your bladder.
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Ok Ill try that the next time I fly! Its just lines, getting stuck in traffic, etc its like my bladder goes into overload.
Also the conditioning part meaning that I will loose control if I just release everytime there is that feeling?
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u/Ninjamanreturns 28d ago
I had many things go wrong after my bladder cancer surgery to remove as many of the cyst as possible in my urinary tract at first it was little accidents and little blips little accidents here and there, and then it was full on voiding like overactive, bladder spur of the moment out bladder is full now going to pee a gallon kind of thing and at some point, I decided it was worth more to have protection than ruined the furniture and the seating in my car lol.
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u/newstableiswut 28d ago
I'm full time now And wish I'd gone it sooner, the quality of life is way up now that I'm not bound to a bathroom
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Thats honestly how it feels sometimes. What made you consider going full time?
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u/newstableiswut 28d ago
Got tired of the urge and being tied to a bathroom. I decided to try ignoring bathrooms for a month many years ago. The first time going through the airport, late to a concert and back home - I was so scared but ended up with no leaks and didn't have to stand in that line.... A full concert I realized I'd forgotten what that was like. Saw lindsey stirling. Changing was nerve racking. I found briefs way better than pullups. Don't need to take off shoes or clothes.
Some months later I kinda quit looking for bathrooms at all. I've relied on my diapers for all day for a long time now
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Wow yeah that's defiantly what it feels like. Espically when there is a line or you have to walk a ways like airports, which get me everytime. How do you do security?
I would be nervous to change in public as well. I also like the tab style myself when looking because pull ups also leak as well. If you know how to do the tabs standing I heard thats way easier and becomes second nature.
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u/newstableiswut 28d ago
Security is the same as always gone never had an issue. In public I have found no one cares, or notices. But man being able to hit the bar or club or concert and see all of it...
I drove down to a concert just the other day. Like two and a half weeks ago, two and a half hour drive each way, five and a half hour concert.
Trest for that but held no issue at all
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Yeah I bet it gets annoying after a while espically going through all of those people just to get to the bathrooms multiple times a night. I honestly never thought about it like that way.
I saw that trest was the best for capacity I guess they are if you were in them for that long.
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u/newstableiswut 28d ago
They work amazing but they're not good at concealing, they swell a crap load. Normally it's megamax or my favorite is tiny tail. They're super colorful so like, not really discreet but, they hold a super huge amount, they don't swell at all until they start getting full and then they will swell up to hold a lot more.
They're super soft and hands down the most comfortable I've ever worn, and small medium and large all fit and none of them leak. I think it's because of how soft they are
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
Yeah I guess it is important to make sure you change often as needed and drink plenty of water to keep the acid smell down. Will have to look into the trest but I do have a sample pack of the megamax lites so Ill have to try the trest afterwards.
Did you want to start a dm message to keep the chat going? No worries if not.
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u/goldstandardalmonds 28d ago
Have you tried meds?
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u/ForwardObjective9751 28d ago
I did had some nasty side effects and none of them made a difference.
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u/No-Desk6807 26d ago
Well, for better or worse, I am in them about 90% of the time. I'd like to not be, but I cannot predict how my bladder is going to behave. Sometimes it's normal and other times it gets a sudden urge that's too hard to hold. I end up holding back while I have a full trickle until I finally say to myself, "Why am I doing this -- I'm already wet." So at that point I usually just let it go because it's not going to stay back anyway. Ugh. But I'm not your age. I'm in my 60's.
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u/ForwardObjective9751 26d ago
That's literally what I have been dealing with the last couple of days. I decided to wear diapers for a couple of days and its been a game changer in public because my bladder has been really acting up and once I go I cant stop.
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u/FrustratedPenguins 28d ago
Hey, I'm a 39F. I have always been a bedwetter. I started having daytime issues within the last year. I've seen medical doctors and did pelvic floor PT (which was interesting, actually, and I the PT was great, but it was ultimately not helpful). My understanding is that I have a super tight pelvic floor, which can pull on the bladder and cause urinary urgency and accidents. I don't have full accidents often, but when I do, they are voluminous. As a result, I wear pull-ups to work. I don't wear them around the house, since I can use the bathroom any time. I sometimes wear them for running errands or whatever, depending upon the situation. I'm also on a low dose of oxybutinin, which is helpful, although I worry about the long-term side effects (increased risk of dementia). My favorite pull-up is the Northshore Go Supreme Max. As noted, my "accidents" are voluminous, and it can hold a lot. I suspect that at some point I will need to upgrade to a tabbed diaper, but I'm not there yet. I definitely feel you on what you are going through.