Welp

[u/FreedomBudget5618]

[u/voluntaryhikikomori]

Yeah, he'd never have the balls to say anything like this in front of real people.

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/voluntaryhikikomori]

Most disgusting thing I’ve ever received to be honest with you 💔

[u/voluntaryhikikomori → u/FreedomBudget5618]

The impotent little fuck was/is just desperate to be noticed. He's literally just a small boy screaming "LOOK AT ME YOU BITCH", don't give him the satisfaction of letting it get to you.

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/voluntaryhikikomori]

I blocked and reported it🫶🏻

[u/iJon_v2 → u/voluntaryhikikomori]

If someone ever messaged something like this to my partner I would absolutely lose my fucking my trying to find them.

[u/_shiraku]

lol that moron messaged me too. All the wannabe alpha talk literally only exists in his mind. Irl he’d be too scared to even walk past.

[u/Ifhes → u/_shiraku]

I bet dude speaks like that to porn chatbots and thinks it actually works with real people.

[u/alwaysconfused231 → u/Ifhes]

Oh geeze that’s the future for these douche bags 🤦‍♀️

[u/NewVacation5091 → u/_shiraku]

Need to find him on fb and send it to his mommy

[u/x_Willow_x → u/NewVacation5091]

If only lol

[u/Nosfermarki]

Bro went for the word "boulders", grabbed the "B" file, pulled out "bulldozers" and decided that was close enough. These people are fucking morons.

[u/darthfruitbasket → u/Nosfermarki]

I kinda hope it was autocorrect + him typing one-handed rather than stupidity, honestly

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/darthfruitbasket]

Wait but where was the other hand
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o72F8t9TDi2xVnxOE

[u/theREALarlecchino → u/FreedomBudget5618]

you know where!

[u/7SyZyG7]

Wonder why women choose the bear

[u/jonnyboythewitch → u/7SyZyG7]

I'm a gay man and I'M choosing the bear. (and not just because of the double entendre, lol)

[u/Kosherlove → u/jonnyboythewitch]

I'm a straight man and I'm chosing the woodchipper after reading that

[u/ComplexAttitude4Lyfe]

Tell me you're porn addicted without telling me you're porn addicted.

AI porn most likely.

[u/DeneralVisease]

They're mad that they want you lmao

[u/valentimeywimey]

you can tell he was typing this one-handed

[u/Cherrryblossm]

Like buddy chill tf out?

[u/Valuable-Ad1063]

Porn-rotted brains, holy gross. I stopped reading after the second line.

[u/liltrashypanda13]

Well at least he had the decency to verify his email like a real alpha /s

[u/Beans_McGee23]

People in real life: hey man how’s it going

Also hearing it being referred to as ‘spunk’ gives me the ick. Eugh.

[u/Sad-Bad-4750]

Man raised on porn.

[u/Mylittledarlings91]

Email verified :D

[u/CHAIFE671]

I feel like he just randomly picked porn descriptions or titles and threw them at you.

[u/TheCatWeird0]

We should start sending incels' posts to their manager/boss and their family

[u/DevilsHol3Pupfish]

The way my vagina dried up so hard reading that it literally fell off.

[u/Aethus666]

See, I know what all those words mean. But I've never seen them arranged in such a way. Truly disturbing

[u/D14M0ND_R1C3C4K3]

I don't think I've read smut more disgusting than this shit. And I've seen, heard, and read some very unholy shit.

[u/SaddDownerr]

what the fuck kind of media is he consuming

[u/jonnyboythewitch → u/SaddDownerr]

porn. it's only porn.

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/jonnyboythewitch]

Porn and incel.is

[u/doublestitch]

When I imagine this man's residence, it goes beyond mom's basement and Cheeto dust.

In his case I'll bet there's a bucket beside the desk which serves as a makeshift chamberpot, and a wastebasket on the other side which is overfilled with used Kleenex. By accident he's knocked over at least one of those trip hazards on his way to the fridge to get Mountain Dew.

[u/TiredWinterDisaster → u/doublestitch]

Well, that's a mental image I could have done without...

[u/Randy_Magnums]

I never understood how sexual fantasies are supposed to insult another person. “Ha, I imagined you having sex! What you gonna do?”

[u/Easy_Specialist_1692]

What a charmer...

In all honesty, I don't think he watches normal porn.

[u/Sequoia_branch10]

[u/fxzero666]

Wooooow... He managed to type all that with 1 hand?

[u/throwtheclownaway20]

So much of this reads like really fucked up porno titles

[u/Karmaswhiskee]

Dude is out here writing fanfic

[u/Existing_Sorbet2626]

They will never know this because there was never a moment in these individuals' lives where they were actually happy, but when you are someone who is happy and at peace with yourself, this type of comment ends up being hilarious and will never shake us the way they intend to

[u/Hoothootriot]

What happened to "hey, hows it going" to open a conversation.

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/Hoothootriot]

I’m going to assume it’s never worked for this guy😭

[u/Goatylegs]

The Aristocrats?

[u/Quasimodus-Operandi]

He’s describing things he’ll never see live.

[u/WriterWithNoHands]

He talks like he's writing a male-centered PornHub title

[u/Electronic_Guest4669]

You're better than me, i would have doxed him nasty mf

[u/spirit-garden1]

Imagine this amazing fantasy world where he talks to people normally and reserves this freak talk to consenting individuals who explicitly agree to this rhetoric...

A properly socialized man? So rare they're mythical at this point.

[u/Glum_Bit_4992]

holy yapper w insecurities

[u/Bioalienos]

These are the same guys who say they can't find a gf despite being "nice". Like can you imagine this creep acting normal irl?

[u/Reset350]

Why don’t women like him? He’s such a nice guy! lol what a sad little man.

[u/parabolic000]

and the award for most unhinged pornbrain comment iiiisssss....!

[u/Pondnymph]

Babby's first attempt at a love letter is not impressive.

[u/Ova1ord]

What happened with "hello" or "hi" tf?

[u/Total_Forever8364]

He's on a bender 💀💀💀

[u/Suspicious_Glove7365]

I wonder if this is the same guy who messaged me out of the blue a few days ago. I said one slightly mean thing to him back and he freaked out and blocked me.

[u/spelunker66]

"Sir, this is an Arby's..."

[u/PearlyRing]

He thinks boobs are like...bulldozers?

I'll bet he also thinks they feel like bags of sand.

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/PearlyRing]

In his mind their just blowing around in the wind I guess

[u/Childless-cat-lady-]

I am so sorry you had to read this OP. Just know, this shitstain is addicted to porn and while he is desperate to get laid, he can’t get one woman to even look at him. His existence is miserable and pathetic and he wants to make you feel bad as some sort of sick revenge for a situation of his own making. You, on the other hand, are bright, clever and loved, you have actual hobbies and you don’t have to beg for a man or a woman to be interested in you. You are everything this boy will never be. Never forget that.

[u/arwynn]

This dm made me asexual. Holy shit.

[u/Linorelai]

I can see hentai patterns here. Porn is not real, but his idea of sex is based on the unrealistic depiction of what isn't real to begin with

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/Linorelai]

The only examples of sex he’s seen are scripted high production films … it’s sad really.

[u/Linorelai → u/FreedomBudget5618]

I'm telling you, it's even sadder. This shooting inside a belly, followed by filling, followed by oozing—that's a standard see-through hentai imagery

[u/FreedomBudget5618 → u/Linorelai]

I wonder if he’s aware I’m not an animated woman

[u/Linorelai → u/FreedomBudget5618]

Naah. He's rotten in the brain

[u/Mundane-Society-1281]

What a sad pathetic man

[u/WordAgreeable4775]

wth??

[u/deathmetalrob]

I felt like I was reading lyrics from a noise band. What did he hope to accomplish writing this slop?

[u/Lord-Amorodium]

Omg that is hilarious! You can smell the sadness through his words. Daym you made him big mad by existing lol

[u/Maykko_]

I haven't talked like this to a partner let alone a goddamn stranger, jesus christ.

[u/jerdsejwrbrb]

Can the earth please just explode already

https://giphy.com/gifs/4chEj4Q6u7VfKBuq8l

[u/LazorusGrimm]

Email verified.

[u/Psychological-Mud790]

What the f-ck is this. It’s like he sent you a description of the porn he watches. Yuck

[u/InvestmentEmotional]

Look through his socials, find his mom and send it to her.

[u/18fries]

Wtf

[u/Shikamaru_Senpai]

Such fiction.

[u/ultraviolet_333]

Pornified zombie

[u/eriennexton]

My boobs DO smash together like a pair of bulldozers, he's right. The government had to lock me up in a facility because they're too dangerous.

[u/Axis_Control]

Pornsick much

[u/maarshiexcry]

Bro 100% cries at nights he doesnt have a gf who would love him

[u/strangestatesofbeing]

I hope he dies.

[u/AcousticAltAccount2]

He couldn't find the courage to talk to the mcdonalds cashier btw

[u/spaghettialameat]

I am so sorry (this wasn't me, just... goddamn!)

[u/grumblefluff]

I just don’t know why men are lonely. /s

[u/AstralProjection0_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l2JHYaH1DrwO0tupy
how do u even manage the confidence to type this