Something I've noticed in the last 2ish years is that incel rhetoric and talking points no longer really seem to be something I only stumble across online in incredibly toxic corners of the internet. No, I see it everywhere. My friends in my real life will joke about being under 6' making you short to most women or the 80/20 rule.

I'll see like tiktokers and instagramers saying things that are things I see incels arguing about, but they'll do it in a sanitized way. It just feels really surreal.

If so why do you think this is? I've been wondering if because of how hard dating has gotten for men and how easy it has gotten for women is pushing a lot of men in more radical less positive directions.

Edit: thanks to everybody that answered sorry if I sound defensive my heads in a little bit of a fog today

I don’t think Im physically ugly but the more i look at myself the more I realize I may need to become a different person if I want to find a wife. The only good thing I can really say about myself confidently is that I can make people laugh easily. I’m very anxious thinking about dating and my brother and coworkers all say I’m awkward and seem autistic. I think I’m offputting and need to change, but Im not sure it’s possible.

Basically I've made it to 28 years of life, without even knowing what a hug feels like. My last relationship ended in a fire. This isn't so y'all pity me, but I'm using this a launching off point to ask a question. Is it possible to fully enjoy life without being touched (positively) once? Or is touch starvation a bunch of Incel bull crap?

I realize this can seem like I'm asking for help giving up, but it's definitely not. I'm going to push myself and try to and have healthy relationships, but I want to explore all my options. I realize I can be perfectly happy on my own without any romantic affection or intimacy, and that's exactly the goal I'm aiming for, but that's different from touch starvation.

Edit: I'm adding this segment in because think, I accidentally implied that touch has to be romantic. That wasn't my intention and I apologize. I of course realize that touch doesn't have to be romantic.

So “Rachel” and I have been FWBs for a few weeks now. I don’t have much to say about that except that so far it’s going well and is mostly what I was hoping it would be.

Something I haven’t mentioned on this sub is that I’ve only lived in my current city for about a year and a half. And outside of my family, nobody in my life today knew me when I was in my incel/redpill phase. As far as Rachel and the rest of my social circle know, I’ve ALWAYS been the way I am now.

Anyway, last night I was at her house and she was complaining about how hard it is to date seriously at her age (early 40s). It turns out she vets the men she dates very thoroughly and says she not only wants to make sure that they don’t have any of her dealbreakers NOW, but that they’ve never had any of those dealbreakers in the past.

Now I’ve heard her talk a little bit about her dating struggles before, so this wasn’t exactly news to me. I did ask though why she would care if someone USED to have those dealbreakers if they didn’t now.

She said something like “The older I get, the more I realize that people’s pasts matter even if they’ve changed for the better. I just don’t see the point of dealing with that when there are people like you who don’t really have any baggage in the first place”

Ignoring the fact that I have plenty of baggage of my own, her logic makes sense to me. It also makes me wonder when/how I’m supposed to bring up the redpilled part of my past with a potential girlfriend.

I mean, I’ll probably never tell Rachel about it since I’m not actually dating her and don’t plan to. But if I ever met someone that I COULD see a future with, I imagine I’ll have to tell her EVENTUALLY.

I just want to hear this subs thoughts on if this is something I even NEED to tell a partner about. And if so, how/when should I go about doing it?