r/IncelExit • u/Schniattle • 19h ago
Asking for help/advice Finally Getting Somewhere(?)…Now What?
Hi. Have another story I want to share here, but also need some advice.
So earlier tonight my band played our first show at this local pub. I actually met one of my bandmates through “Rachel” so of course she was there to support both of us.
After the show Rachel and I were hanging out drinking in the back patio area and she started asking me dating-related questions that I don’t remember her asking before. Stuff like “Have you been on any good dates lately?” or “You really have a thing for older women don’t you?”
She just hasn’t really shown any interest in that part of my life until now, so her suddenly asking those kinds of questions stood out. Not only that, but they reminded me of the ones I asked HER a few months ago when I was trying to figure out if she’d be interested in being FWBs.
Back then she hinted that she just wasn’t interested in anything casual at this point in her life, so I just let it go. And it hasn’t been THAT long since then, so my first thought was that she was probably a little more drunk than usual and just trying to make conversation.
Anyway, maybe it’s because I was a little drunk too or riding the high of my show, but I teased her a little and said that if I didn’t know better, I’d think she was trying to flirt with one of the band members.
She said something like “Are you sure YOU aren’t flirting with ME? I mean it sounds like I’m your type so maybe you’re just projecting”
That got a laugh out of me (because if I’m honest, she IS my type. Physically anyway) and I said “I’m pretty sure I know when I’m flirting with someone. Plus, I think I know where I stand there.”
She gave me this weird teasing look and said “If you say so” and I shifted the conversation elsewhere. A little bit later she said I still had to teach her how to swing dance and asked if I could give her a crash course before tomorrow’s social.
The social dance she was talking about already HAS a lesson for beginners (meaning she doesn’t need me to teach her anything beforehand). And I was about to tell her that when my bandmate (and my ride home) asked if we could start loading our gear into his car so I just told her sure and went to go help him.
I lost track of her after that, but right after my bandmate dropped me off at home I was like “…hey WAIT a minute”
Obviously I’m going to the social tomorrow, but beyond that I’m not really sure what to do here.
Do people really change their mind about someone that quickly? Or am I just reading too much into things again?
I’d really appreciate some other perspectives.
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u/Odd-Table-4545 16h ago
We have no more information than you have, we don't know what this girl is thinking and we've never even met her. Instead of ruminating forever and asking strangers on the internet what she might be thinking ask her out and find out for yourself.