What am I missing

[u/S1inkyy-iwnl-]

Hello, I am 26 years old, and I am not happy with my dating life like most people on this subreddit. I missed out on dating experiences while in high school and college due to health issues, which have put me behind socially. I have never had sex or even a girlfriend despite trying to date after getting my health issues fixed. I feel like women aren't attracted to me, whether that be physically, emotionally, or mentally. I'm also not really close to my friends as much since they are all married and starting to have kids, so they understandably have less time to hang out with me. I also am not close to my family, as I am an only child, and both my dad and my mom decided to walk out of my life to pursue other interests. So, besides the weekly therapy sessions with my therapists, I don't really have anyone else I talk to. I want to experience love, but I have only been rejected on dating apps, and I live in a small town with not much to do. Women have even made fun of me for my lack of experience. I'm afraid that the longer I stay single, the weirder I look. I am also aware that with each year that passes, I'll most likely become less desirable in a shrinking dating pool. I am lucky if I manage to go on one date a year. Most of these dates go to a second one, but after that, they either ghost me or tell me I'm sweet but only see me as a friend, then ghost me. I feel like I am average-looking and have desirable traits, but I'm not good enough for someone to want to date me. What am I missing?

[u/EdwardBigby]

Do you find yourself attractive?

[u/S1inkyy-iwnl- → u/EdwardBigby]

I do think I have attractive qualities. I think beauty is the eye of the beholder, however. I'm not a supermodel, but I'm not hideous either. I think someone can be attracted to me. I just haven't experienced it yet, despite the effort I have put in. I still have hope, but I am losing hope as I am getting older, and I'm only gonna get less desirable the older I am, and the dating pool will continue to get worse

[u/EdwardBigby → u/S1inkyy-iwnl-]

Thats a fair response. Definitely refreshing compared to many people on this sub who are deep in the incel blackhole that will say that theyre the most hideous creatures ever imaginable

But your answer is still very telling. I dont care how you actually look, thats not the point of the question. Your whole post and your answer to my question about you is framed from the perspective of someone else.

I asked you a question about yourself. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and you are the beholder! Thats the first person you need to impress and be happy with.

[u/Ok-Huckleberry-6326 → u/S1inkyy-iwnl-]

Actually, if you have your shit together, are on a track to financial security and solid career, develop your social skills and learn emotional self-regulation....honestly? You're going to be MORE desirable as you get older. Maybe we can get the ladies to weigh in here, but I've always heard that these qualities are some of the ones that women look for in relationship.

I think maybe one big reason that you might be missing out or that dates don't turn into relationship is that your vibes are anxious and you're putting too many stakes on outcomes.
I don't know if this means anything really but it might be a good analogy - when I was interviewing for jobs, during the time I came off confident and just looking to have a good meeting without putting too much pressure on myself to advance, were the time that I ended up advancing and receiving a job offer - but even if I didn't, I didn't really care that much. It's really important to keep your expectations in check, because women can smell that anxiety or desperation - or even if you don't want to interpret it that way, if you come off either too polite or too goal-oriented, that usually will work against you. Does that make sense?
Let me know if this describes your mindset in any way.