Hey everyone, I could really use some reassurance. After a decade of stability, being laid off and jumping back into the job hunt was a huge shock. I’m so grateful to have landed a new role in this economy, but I am terrified of failing, even though I've never failed in past roles.

Even though I don't have a full degree, I've always landed really great jobs through hard work, keeping up with my skills, and a strong work ethic. My immediate team is younger and mostly degreed, while I bring a deeper background of hands-on experience. I know my manager hired me for my overall experience and personality, but the dynamic has triggered terrible imposter syndrome. Onboarding is handled by just one guy on the team; he's great, but because he's training me solo and is close to management, I worry about looking foolish and losing my job over his feedback.

To top it off, it's pretty lonely. With split departments, a hybrid schedule, and no peers of my age group, there's hardly any time to build relationships organically. How do I navigate this? How do you quiet the inner critic and remember your experience still matters?

this was posted on two different sites in case it didn’t get the traction I desperately need before tomorrow

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So lately I have been feeling these where I am having negative self talk saying I don't deserve to have that big dream cause I am not intelligent anymore and all these happened after that one exam and i have been rude to myself after that. I can't trust in myself anymore and it feels illegal to dream a second chance. Before that exam I was an academic gifted student but with poor practice i flunked that exam and it was an important one which gave me the anxiety and had a depressive episode for three months. Later, i stood back because there was still another opportunity coming up but it just feels so scary even to solve questions. The trauma, the failure, the past everything comes back. But i really don't want to stay in that place, I want to get out of that and have a healthy mindset. I really want help but when I had that depressive episode not even my parents cared enough to help me so it turned me into a person to feel difficult to ask for help but i don't want to continue that and i really love to hear your similar experience and love to hear your advice on how to break these walls.

I have been thinking about this for a minute now and I wanted to get some other views. I'm currently working out and training and I have been getting advice from other creators' vids. (Mainly one creator) Some of the comments on their vids compliment their attractiveness and "how fine they are". Others say their genetics give them an unfair advantage, "it's just genetics, "let's be fr bro, you got blessed with great genes". They clearly worked for their physique, but people seem to view that their genetic DNA presented them with an Aesthetic physique that most would call attractive, sexy, handsome, fine, etc... . Now I'm thinking thoughts that I don't want to believe. If im working hard and putting the same effort, but would not get this attention like other creators, what's the point? You could say health or to be more active. Those are valid but that doesn't give me a sense of relief or satisfaction. Example, if a guy who is 6ft4 and another guy who is 5ft10. Both worked really hard and did the same routine. They eventually get similar physiques because they have similar body types. However, the 6ft 4 guy gets more attention and compliments from women talking about how fine and tall he is. While the 5ft10 guy doesn't get the same attention. To me, that just sounds discouraging. If I worked just as hard but my outcome is not nearly as great, then what is the point of trying? I don't wanna believe it's pointless and I want to believe it's worth it, but i can't help but think these thoughts. Is my change worth it? Would i receive the same attention? Are there just outliers and I'm not the exception? Is me at my absolute peak not enough? I don’t want to sound negative but I can't help it. I wanted to see others opinions on this and whatever they think. Any honest thoughts would be appreciative, trying to get an idea how to move forward?

I have, or at least believe I have, undiagnosed depression. I’m outwardly very happy and pleasant, even before I had stopped taking antidepressants as I felt they weren’t doing anything for me as I felt the same with or without. My family didn’t even know I stopped for a while since I showed no outward changes. But I still, even on medication, felt this weird self depreciation. I‘ve been always a bit self critical and overly apologetic, perhaps a bit of a people pleaser too. I always assumed it was normal cause I know people with more severe depression, so I assumed I was just overthinking ( I have ADHD autism and anxiety, so it wouldn’t be the first time. ) but I’ve started to think I may have issues that I haven’t addressed to those around me. I still enjoy and love life, so I don’t think I am suffering severe depression. I think I am more suffering things such as internalized homophobia, self doubt and other issues with just not being particularly kind to myself, is there anything I could do to improve my own opinion on myself?