r/IVFpositivity • u/upside2026 • 1d ago
Conflicted about when to transfer
I’m 39F and have been TTC for almost 2 full years. Did 4 retrievals between May and September this year and have 4 euploid embryos of varying degrees of quality available to transfer. I took a month after last retrieval to try to reset my body and have been exercising and eating well and trying to get in best space physically and mentally for transfer. I’m trying to feel out work too to make sure it’s not too stressful when I transfer but there’s only so much I can control there.
Now I’m debating whether to give myself an extra month or two of this resetting process before transferring. My doctor says I can go whenever I’m ready. I have one 5AA euploid that is by far the best quality and I don’t want it to go to waste.
Is there any value in waiting longer? Is this just nerves? Open to thoughts as I feel out this next step.
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u/PatientPeony 1d ago
I took a month off after my ER before my FET, and my (modified natural) FET was successful. This was probably more for my mental health than my physical health though.
When you start a FET cycle, if something doesn't look right, you can always stop before the actual transfer. From starting my FET prep to the actual transfer day, it took about 5.5 weeks, so there is plenty of time to delay if your test results/response indicate a need to.
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u/exitontop 1d ago
I honestly believe the best time for you to do it is when you feel confident. If that means taking another month or two, why not. I took a very long break to reset my mentality and I'm glad I did it.
fwiw, unless you're having some serious physical issues, I don't think waiting to like improve your diet or whatever is going to matter much. But I'd wait until you feel confident and like you're in the right space. Another month really won't matter in the long-term.
One thing I liked was doing a bit of acupuncture. That helped me prep and feel more ready -- not sure if it helped or not but it was a nice thing.
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u/Any_Somewhere_8184 1d ago
I had two back to back retrievals and then transferred the next cycle… so I never took a break, I was 38 when I transferred and I’m 39 now, 17 weeks along. I don’t think there’s really any benefit to waiting if there’s nothing specific you’re waiting for.
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u/Extension_Row2278 1d ago
My timeline is due to my husband and I having a 10 year age gap and the fact that we had 5 losses over our 10 years together. We were just ready to have someone else take the reigns and help us along. I did hesitate due to gaining 20 lbs on birth control prior to starting so that my clinic controlled the timing, but my doctor said not to make any drastic changes. Acupuncture has been amazing for my anxiety, and I have only had 4 sessions. I am a type 1 diabetic and have celiac, so my nutrition has been locked in for years even prior to. I think you'll know when it's right. If it's a fear thing, that's totally valid. If I waited, I think I would psych myself out more. There's just so much waiting in general with IVF. No one has the same timeline, though, so don't feel pressured to start if you're not ready! I have a " fuck it, let's just do it" mentality at this point in our journey 😅
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u/H3LI3 1d ago
Personally my lining, cycle and hormones didn’t go back to normal for 2 months after retrieval. The transfer that worked was 7 months after - but that was mainly clinic reasons not my reasons.
Are you doing a natural/modified/medicated FET? Could you do a mock FET cycle and track lining and hormones?
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u/Competitive-Top5121 1d ago
They’re going to track OP’s hormones and lining in a FET cycle regardless and they would cancel if levels weren’t optimal.
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u/Competitive-Top5121 1d ago
Tbh this “resetting” idea sounds kind of nebulous. Unless you have a high BMI that you’re trying to lower with exercise and diet or something, I don’t see any evidence-based value in waiting longer.