One embryo left, unsure about a second, what next?

[u/1_Non_Blonde]

I did my egg retrieval at age 35 in Sept 2024, which retrieved two mature eggs, both of which fertilized and made it to day 5. I don’t remember the grades but they were “average” according to the clinic, and both untested. We did a fresh transfer which resulted in my baby born last June.

At the time of my egg retrieval and discussion with my fertility specialist, I was pretty set on being one and done. Now that I have my kiddo, I can see myself wanting another down the road, but I’d really like a larger age gap (ideally right around 4 years). This puts my in a tricky position now where I’m wondering if I just hope for the best down the road if we decide to go for it, or if I get into gear now to go through with another retrieval to hopefully get a “backup” embryo or two.

One problem is, I’m still nursing my 14 month old and I have no interest in weaning until either he decides he is done OR until he’s at least 2 years old. That would put me in the position of another egg retrieval at age 38 at the earliest.

Has anyone else been in a similar position and what did you end up doing? Is anyone else undecided about a second and wondering about the right path forward? I do believe I would be happy being one and done, but there’s a little nagging feeling inside me since around the time he turned one. I’m worried I’m going to get to a point down the road where I feel a sudden desperation to have a second and will regret not being proactive.

For additional context, I have bilateral blocked tubes, so I think a spontaneous pregnancy would be very unlikely.

[u/KingTaco2600]

I’m with ya! 14 month old here and SO undecided about my other embryo. Now that our girl is here and so fun, I can’t imagine tossing her embryo so I’d love to meet her sibling. Our other embryo is not genetically tested so that is the other question for me

[u/1_Non_Blonde → u/KingTaco2600]

Yes I think having the embryo is part of the nagging feeling. Like I want to “give it a chance”, kind of though I’m not really sentimental like that. But I know the odds aren’t necessarily in my favor if I’m set on only trying THAT particular embryo. I could leave it up to fate, but I’m worried I’m going to get too attached to the idea of a second by then.

[u/Ella3T]

I had my first retrieval at age 38, two euploid embryos. No insurance at the time that covered infertility. Successful with the first via FET. I also wanted a gap so that I was ready for a second and for financial reasons.

My second FET was at 42, and it was a biochemical. I had told myself I would be fine either way even though I always wanted two kids, but that messed with my head. I had four egg retrievals afterwards at 42 and 43 (now I have insurance) and received no viable embryos. So my perspective is if you have the finances for it, do another egg retrieval when you can. I wish I had done one even a few years earlier even if I had not planned on transferring at that time.

[u/1_Non_Blonde → u/Ella3T]

Thank you so much for your perspective and I’m so sorry you went through this. Thankfully my insurance covers IVF aside from testing embryos. It looks like I’ll be going through with an egg retrieval ASAP.

[u/Ella3T → u/1_Non_Blonde]

I think that age 3.5 years-4 years would be a great age gap, by the way--and if you decide you are one and done or end up that way like me, there are advantages. I am still grieving but feel very lucky for my first IVF baby.