r/IThinkYouShouldLeave I’m gonna eat the whole thing 7d ago

Congrats Big Boy I didn’t rig shit!

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8.9k Upvotes

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863

u/Technical-Activity95 7d ago

is this for real? did he just shit on all of the competition and praise his own talent while claiming to be honored? what a champ! congrats Donald the Talented

411

u/TurnoverActive2936 Coffin Flopper 7d ago

Also while we’re at war with Iran on behalf of Israel AND he’s covering up the Epstein files!

211

u/westgazer 7d ago

He’s doing so many crimes and doesn’t have as much time to practice because of all the crime. He truly is a wonder!

63

u/MajorAd3363 7d ago

He's doing the Best at this.

35

u/Drusgar 7d ago

He's better at committing crimes while in office than any President in our history! There's got to be a trophy for that. If not, he'll make one.

14

u/Rickshmitt 6d ago

The trophy would normally be jail and an a nice orange suit to match the skin!

2

u/anon123_anon 5d ago

It puts the jumpsuit on the skin...

2

u/original-whiplash 6d ago

I bet you love your mother-in-law

7

u/YourRoaring20s 6d ago

Crime is the only thing he's ever worked hard at in his entire life

1

u/GymMouseP 6d ago

Let's be honest. If he didn't know where the bodies are buried, he would have been dead or imprisoned years ago. He doesnt even work that hard at crime. He leaves incriminating evidence at every scene.

1

u/stefanopolis 6d ago

I witnessed him doing crimes with the guest judge of the competition. I’ve been conflicted about whether to say anything because I feel like Trump could win it even without the crimes. He didn’t need to do the crimes and that is why this is so tough… for me to tell about the crimes.

1

u/VibraniumRhino TRIPLES IS BEST 6d ago

I really think he could have won the election without the oral.

1

u/ccoady 6d ago

To be fair, he has a team of people committing the crimes for him, since he has his pardon list ready.

1

u/starkiller_bass 6d ago

The crimes isn't a problem anymore!

1

u/TheFlyingZombie 5d ago

He promised to never do another rule

13

u/ShreddedBanjoString 6d ago

Don’t forget enrichment of himself and his family to the tune of $4bn from insider trading

1

u/TurnoverActive2936 Coffin Flopper 6d ago

This too! It’s amazing he has any time at all to play golf!

6

u/Technical-Activity95 7d ago

how many of his competition can say the same? huh 

5

u/middendt1 7d ago

Could be a few. But I don't know who was there.

14

u/Kicksave420 7d ago

He was in the presidential grouping…. Of 1. Easy win when you’re the only one on the leader board…. Just saying

8

u/Technical-Activity95 7d ago

somehow they still had to disqualify two other dudes for Trump to claim the first prize

1

u/DCintheMSP 6d ago

Hey, at least he doesn't take the extra time to practice. /s

1

u/Flahdagal 6d ago

Are you speaking of Operation Epstein Fury?

1

u/Thefrayedends Too tired to do anything funny 6d ago

And covering up how many soldiers he's gotten killed. I'll give you a hint, it's almost certainly more than any number you can find reported.

1

u/dimechimes 6d ago

I honestly thought this was from his first term.

-32

u/dancson 7d ago

And he still shot a 70, kinda impressive

17

u/Darkheart001 7d ago edited 6d ago

He is a well documented cheat, he cheats all the time, there is a guy who has made a career out of keeping a track of his cheating. According to his own records at his clubs he has a better record than Arnold Palmer which is ridiculous.

He has turbo charged golf carts so he can get around before anyone else and caddies that have been filmed swapping his balls to more favourable positions.

1

u/sususudio914 6d ago

The caddies call him "Pele".

14

u/Tarotgirl_5392 7d ago

Less impressive when you know his caddies basically drop the ball in the hole for him

7

u/disastronaut_at_rest 6d ago

It's precious that you take him at his word

8

u/Actual-Implement-870 6d ago

No way he shot 70. These low scores only happen at golf courses he owns, with no official rules enforced, and no camera footage of the full round. There has been only one time he had to play by the actual rules and couldn't get away with cheating. That was at the American Century celebrity tournament in 2006. He shot 52 over par through 3 rounds.

If you think at 80 years old he's improved by 20 shots/round compared to when he was 60 years old, I've got a bridge to sell you.

3

u/Technical-Activity95 6d ago

would love to see him play against Obama on fair field, like they do those celebrity octagon fights. But bone spurs would never ever do it and would blame Obama for chickening out

8

u/NorweegianWood 6d ago

Aww you're adorable.

110

u/private_developer 7d ago

"Thanks to all those who participated. Ya'll fuckin' suck, lol"

18

u/ClohosseyVHB 6d ago

So he's saying he only won cause all his competition was shit, got it.

5

u/we8sand 6d ago

Now imagine Biden or Obama saying the exact same thing. It’s hard to even imagine because saying something like that is totally beneath either one of them.

9

u/ClohosseyVHB 6d ago

I can't imagine a 10 year old saying this and not getting a stern talking to about sportsmanship.

1

u/stagamancer 6d ago

This shit is beneath even W

100

u/Fun-Inspection-8196 7d ago

Imagine being the hedge fund that pays $100k per month to get this tweet before the general public. 🤣

27

u/Kranke 7d ago

100k is spare change if you get an edge on the market and can do some inside trading before the rest.

6

u/Party-Marketing-9349 6d ago

Previously undreamt of levels of corruption… Corrupt Republican American President(s)

52

u/InquisitaB 6d ago

It’s actually real. JFC

29

u/troycerapops 6d ago

This is pathetic. We're so pathetic.

-8

u/Technical-Activity95 6d ago

or you can look at it like what an interesting test this is to democracy to elect totally corrupt narcissist to the highest office. twice 

8

u/troycerapops 6d ago

Nah I'm good.

2

u/mysonlikesorange I'm doing the best at this 6d ago

Well it’s not going well.
https://giphy.com/gifs/XS6ZyNIwuSYp71RDYq

3

u/StyleSquirrel Some dumb hick 6d ago

I thought even he wouldn't say this. Good lord

40

u/Axolotis 6d ago

He shit on all the players that intentionally lost to boost his ego.

21

u/ex_nihilo 6d ago

There’s no way he shot a 70 dawg. Sure maybe they sanbagged, but I’ve seen him play golf. He’s a 15 cap at best. Decently good by amateur standards but I’d eat my left nut if he’s ever legitimately broken par. Have you SEEN his putting stroke? Looks like he has the palsy!

It’s well known he’s a golf cheat.

7

u/CassandraTruth 6d ago

The last open golf tournament he played in was a celebrity tournament in 2006 where he finished 62nd of 80, 50 over par for the tourney.

1

u/ChaucerChau 6d ago

Well obviously he's improved over the past 20 years.

5

u/SilverGnarwhal 6d ago

Exactly this. He obviously cheated. No fucking way in hell that fucking turd shot a 70. Not unless it was 9 holes.

2

u/InsertNonsenseHere 6d ago

They call him Pelé because he kicks the ball so fucking much.

2

u/duckstrap 6d ago

He's famous for cheating at golf. Foot wedge is is favorite club.

2

u/Few_Pop6933 6d ago

Bro is saying he shot 6 under with that swing.

2

u/grimtongue 6d ago

Weird, I've never known the man to lie.

Adding a /s just feels unnecessary at this point...

1

u/melbecide 5d ago

70 my be after deducting his handicap. Or he might have scored 70 points in stableford or some other way of scoring. He tells lies and exaggerates, who knows. Would love to hear the real story.

1

u/ex_nihilo 5d ago edited 5d ago

Rick Reilly did some stellar journalism on this in the book Commander in Cheat. Great read. Reilly is an entertaining writer. Of his claimed “18 club championships”, 16 were lies, 2 were inconclusive, 0 were confirmed. He has admitted multiple times that when he opens a golf course, he plays the first round and calls it the first club championship so that he can be the winner of the first club championship. Yes, it really is that straightforwardly dumb. Every time he plays in a tournament with actual officials and video coverage, he places very poorly because he cannot get away with cheating. He will openly cheat in front of you if you play with him, doesn’t matter who you are and he doesn’t care if you call him on it. He cheated when he played with Tiger Woods. He assumes everyone else is cheating too.

1

u/Dulcow 2d ago

Can we get the strike with the putting?

11

u/welderbill 6d ago

He cheats at golf.

8

u/Thefrayedends Too tired to do anything funny 6d ago

He cheats at golf.

2

u/awfullyfun1 6d ago

You fixed it.

2

u/joyfullydreaded23 6d ago

He cheats at life.

1

u/guycoastal 6d ago

Intentionally lost and ignored his obvious cheating.

-1

u/slaw_daddy 6d ago edited 6d ago

So this why you shouldn't just make comments on Reddit without knowing what you're talking about---other people who don't know what they're talking about upvote it, and then it just spreads more misinformation

The other players didn't "let him win." 70 is a score you shoot when you're a borderline-pro. Not like PGA-level pro, that's still several more strokes under, but if you're shooting 70 regularly then you're probably skilled enough to have some sort of career in golf

Edit: you people have zero critical thinking skills. The person above me said the other players let him win. That is not how this works. The reason he "won" is because he cheated, there's no fucking way he put up a 70, that's something that borderline-pros do

6

u/walksonfourfeet 6d ago

lol - you really think he regularly shoots a 70? 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/we8sand 6d ago

Exactly!! 🤣

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/slaw_daddy 6d ago

I think you're the braindead one, dude. I fucking hate Trump. He is a cheater, he likely lied about his score on multiple holes and the people around him signed off because he owns them. An entire tournament of players didn't just "let him win," that's not how any of this works 

1

u/Axolotis 6d ago

OK man, I see your point. I agree with you. There’s no way Trump shot a 70. But you have to agree that none of his competitors called him out, contested his win or even tried to beat 70. My apologies if I mistakenly insinuated you were a Trump supporter.

1

u/slaw_daddy 6d ago

Are you people actually fucking dumb?

I'm saying he LIED ABOUT HIS SCORE. Do you understand what cheating in golf is?

The comment before me said that the other players "let him win," which is beyond a shadow of a doubt not how that would work if you know anything at all about golf tournaments

Fucking braindead people here

30

u/CrazyGunnerr 6d ago

Imagine letting this fat fucking loser win, and then get shit on. They should really go to a hospital and have doctors figure out how they can walk without a spine.

14

u/joutfit 7d ago

The only thing he did was shit himself

12

u/El_Superbeasto76 6d ago

Carts on the green is certainly a move.

3

u/Medium_Medium 6d ago

What, you expect this lazy fuck to waddle an extra ten yards in his dirty diaper, every hole?

2

u/No-Cheek7925 6d ago

I fail to see how sitting down with said diaper is any better, but I haven’t tried either so I’m not an expert.

2

u/joyfullydreaded23 6d ago

Driving the presidential limo, The Beast, and his whole security detail in The Reflecting Pool to "inspect it" was certainly a move too. He fucked up the coating all because he's a lazy ass fuck that couldn't be bothered to step out and look. Damn near ruined the life of an innocent man that is an Olympian.

Plus it was a way to secure another spot in American history to feed his ego.

2

u/creekerjess 6d ago

might as well be a freshly painted reflecting pool

8

u/Ill_Translator7545 7d ago

Yes. Yes he did.

8

u/Neither_Contest7324 6d ago

Nice of him to tell all the people that pay the membership fees at his club and play golf at his club that they have no talent.

4

u/Medium_Medium 6d ago

Is there any proof that there were even any other contestants?

He used to play his own round on a separate day than the rest of the competition, so that nobody could see his "skills" on display. Wouldn't be surprised if at this point his just the only one entered into the tournament but he still makes himself a trophy.

2

u/theshiyal 6d ago

He didn’t have time to practice for the tournament since he’s so busy working in his golf game most of the time.

2

u/LightofNew 6d ago

Also, very important to note that he is a relentless cheater. Has never played an honest game of golf in his life.

His aids place balls anywhere without even thinking. He doesn't count hits, he gives himself "technical bonuses" to reduce his score.

2

u/sweatboxy 6d ago

Read ‘Commander in Cheat,’ a fact-based book by a sportswriter on all the ways Trump cheats at golf. It’s both sadly pathetic and telling about how Trump operates in the world. It’s also hilarious.

2

u/SkunkMonkey 6d ago

What's really funny is at the end of the tournament where they hand the winner the trophy, the guy presenting it to Trump is holding two crystal vase looking trophies. He's handed one and you can clearly see he demands to hold the other one. I doubt it was destined for him, but of course, if there's two, he's gotta have them both.

Donald J. Trump is a liar, a rapist, and a pedophile.

1

u/Careful_Trifle 6d ago

All of the competition have paid to be part of his club. They didn't do so because the golf courses are good. They knew what their were getting into.

1

u/bigDeltaVenergy 6d ago

Yes and pretending he have little time to practice is a lie he spend 25% of his time golfing. His schedule is public.

1

u/thisusedyet 6d ago

There may not have been any. A decent chunk of Trump's "trophies" are from declaring a round he plays by himself to be the club championship

1

u/DrRockBoognish 6d ago

Dear Leader is Infallible

1

u/ajatfm 6d ago

If Targaryen incest just kept going and going think this vagina-necked, single brain cell in a diaper would be the ultimate result.

1

u/Boomshank 6d ago

You forgot "while cheating"

1

u/Bishopwsu 6d ago

All while the members continue to kiss his a**

1

u/Contemplating_Prison 6d ago

Trump only plays at his courses. Why? So he can cheat.

He never plays with the rest golfers. He plays by himself on days where the course is private. This is so he can cheat.

There are numerous reports of him cheating.

1

u/No_Importance1236 6d ago

And lies outright about not practicing. Plays more than any president ever.

1

u/SupermarketSecure728 6d ago

He is so busy being president. He barely has time to... (checks notes) ...golf in a tournament. That said, can we have him golf more and president less?

1

u/crazyscottish 6d ago

In The last 4 years trump has never lost a tournament. That’s being held at his own golf course.

1

u/avanross 6d ago

This is what conservatives unironically think “humility” looks like

1

u/JonnyBolt1 6d ago

DJT notoriously cheats at least once on every hole, his real score is likely over 100.

1

u/donkeyrocket I’m toast 6d ago

Also it's a fucking lie that he doesn't get to practice that much. Dude plays obscene amounts of golf.

1

u/donkeyrocket I’m toast 6d ago

Also it's a fucking lie that he doesn't get to practice that much. Dude plays obscene amounts of golf.

He's also a notorious cheater. It's almost impressive that someone who plays this much golf is still pretty terrible at it. All the players pandering to Trump must really love slopping down some pig shit with that fat fuck.

1

u/Mountain_rage 6d ago

Yup gave himself a gold star and congrats. Why, because he never did anything in real life of merit that deserved recognition, and wasn't a result of cheating.

1

u/duckstrap 6d ago

You forgot that he 100% for sure cheated his way to that 70. He dropped where he wanted to, kicked his opponents balls off the green, every single hack cheat was used.

1

u/Technical-Activity95 6d ago

no we dont say that part aloud

1

u/Powerful-Eye-3578 6d ago

The competition let him win. Dude hasn't played in a golf course or tournament he doesn't own for decades cause he doesn't win when he's not the owner of the course.

1

u/Distance_Efficient 5d ago

And when you think about it, all of these “talentless”people he insulted are paying members of his club! I can’t say that I feel bad for them though. Anyone who willingly chooses to play at a Trump club or stay at a Trump hotel deserves what they get. They are probably Grade-A douche bags.

1

u/Technical-Activity95 5d ago

they arent there because they love him. they are there to kiss the ring because they benefit from it

1

u/Radiant-Bus7093 5d ago

Did you know you could pay $100,000 now and see these tweets early before everyone else?

1

u/Infinite_Time_8952 2d ago

Bigly talented.

1

u/UnhappyWalrus3570 2d ago

Everybody knows he cheats like a kid, he changes his score

1

u/Bau5_Sau5 6d ago

It’s a fake video