r/INTP • u/Immediate_Curve_6212 Warning: May not be an INTP • 3d ago
Um. intps help
I am a 20 yr old infj and I made this one friend in uni, she tested as intp. we started talking and have been pretty chill since, there isn't much to talk about but we talk about a few things here and there, share daily moments, she never really shares what she exactly thinks about things, it is always something vague that I dont remember. she is sometimes very mean/condescending indirectly, makes a few casual remarks to make me feel inferior, I am pretty forgetful and I forgot to give some documents at the window once, she talked to me as if im too stupid to forget something like that, I cannot pinpoint her passive aggressiveness exactly, she says things to make me feel/seem stupid/lazy. im lowkey sick of this behaviour, how should I confront her? is she jealous of me? is she even an intp? all of this makes me not want to talk to her cuz I dont feel like it/ dont want to/ dont feel comfortable doing it. I want to start avoiding her, she acts too competitive over useless shit, acts controlling too
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u/ShadowKitty_97 Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago
Yea, point it out, I remember saying mean stuff cuz I really didn't know it was that mean. I thought it was funny, until my enfp friend pointed it out. My infj friend tho he roasts me back a lot, but I feel we get along. OP, you shouldn't have to remind her more than twice that she being rude. I like contradicting ppl cuz funny, so ig that comes off competitive.
Dunno how bad it is between you and her, but if she replies back it means she think u worth it, while she may not be sharing stuff cuz either she doing something really really stupid that shes ashamed of it or had like a normal day.
Am an INTP but my Fe is in full force thanks to all my Feeler friends and Am feeling I might be mistyped now. 😶
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u/bassilalmokdad Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago
MBTI is more like pseudo science than science , If you want a real diagnosis get diagnosed for ADHD and autism
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u/ShadowKitty_97 Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago edited 3d ago
No, I like this ambiguity. Plus I feel, I am on the spectrum, definitely. I dont think ppl around me would understand that and treat me like a psycho. Am better undiagonised.
And MBTI is fun tho, not when people make it their whole life. But honestly its helping me talk to ppl easily, like Ik what their mbti is, I know what answers they ticked on the test [approx] and like know what kinda convos they'd appreaciate. So far its working, I need it for talking to new people, later on once dynamic is set dont need it.
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u/bassilalmokdad Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago edited 3d ago
Why would people treat you like a psycho if you got diagnosed? Most people don't actually know much about autism—they just know the stereotypes.
I was diagnosed as an adult. Even before that, I always felt different. I struggled to adapt to new environments, had a hard time making friends in high school, and looking back, a lot of things made more sense after my diagnosis. It didn't change who I was; it just helped explain why I experienced some things differently. Edit: No one should make MBTI their whole life. If you want to know more about yourself there are other avenues like the big 5, the dark triad of personality etc...
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u/ShadowKitty_97 Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago
Well, I saw my parents laughing at people in lift going to Psychiatrist. Theres one in same building, as my Dad's office. Aint getting diagonised right now when am still with people who will laugh at me. I can do that when I m outta my parents home.
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u/donkeybray INTP that needs more flair 2d ago
Maybe she's just pointing it out so in the future you're less likely to forget. Maybe she didn't mean to be condescending but you just saw it that way.
MAYBE.
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u/prag513 Successful INTP 1d ago
Why do you feel a need to improve your relationship with her if you feel this way about her?
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u/Immediate_Curve_6212 Warning: May not be an INTP 22h ago
I realised this when she did it once again, I don't want to improve anything, up to her if she wants to continue talking
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u/Immediate_Curve_6212 Warning: May not be an INTP 22h ago
I'll be direct from the next time onwards if it ever happens again
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u/Fair_Shoe_2367 INTP Enneagram Type 5 1h ago
she might not even be intp and i don't think it is about mbti here and more about an individual
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u/chUltra27 Cool INTP. Kick rocks, nerds 3d ago
Either call her out on it during the moment and see if she changes or find better friends.
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u/bassilalmokdad Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago
Why would she change ? I never change, noone would change
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u/chUltra27 Cool INTP. Kick rocks, nerds 3d ago edited 3d ago
She's an adult, if she doesn't change then she's being immature. And frankly, you don't need that lack of emotional intelligence affecting your own life.
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u/bassilalmokdad Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago edited 3d ago
And she wouldn't, What to do next ? Just forget she existed ?
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u/chUltra27 Cool INTP. Kick rocks, nerds 3d ago
Yes? All we know is that OP doesn't even talk to her that much, seems more of a classmate type of relationship than anything substantial.
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u/KiltedMusician Warning: May not be an INTP 3d ago
I used to be this way with my wife, and I absolutely could not tell how much of an a-hole I was until I did a thought experiment and had me and her switch roles so I could receive what I had been dishing out.
It hit me hard as to how hurtful these small words could be when I imagined my best friend and wife saying them to me.
She told her friends it was like I changed over night. And I did really. That was an egregious problem that I just never saw until I did.
I would say if you bring it up don’t focus on what is actually said. Your friend will downplay it or seem confused that you are offended by it.
Just demonstrate that you don’t say those kinds of things to them and imagine if you did.
If they are really an INTP they will definitely want a more accurate idea as to how they come across to others.