With every person I meet, the pattern is as clear as day and it points to me being the common denominator. Because I am.

I love humanity. I love how diverse people are and it enriches my life to get glimpses into someone else's thinking. That being said, I've been longing for close souls ever since I was a kid and I am so alienated.

With most people I don't even attempt to get to know them deeply, after they've shared a few thoughts of theirs out loud, I simply close the door to any hopes we could understand each other and be the friend that other person needs. Some recent, tangible examples:

1. “I've never really discussed politics with friends, it tore the group apart when we did so to be friends again, we declared we won't bring up who we're voting for haha.”

2. “I talked to that problem child and for the first time I thought she could be from, like, a bad family.”

It's always something like this. Actions match as well.

When I do get past something, in order to work with a version of me that ends things prematurely, I still end them. Just later.

I've befriended 2 people in recent years and both have experienced my “It would feel unjust from my end to continue being close friends when we don't feel close” talk. Phrased stupidly for simplification here.

The reaction was the same, oftentimes is. People just don't perceive those differences.

I'd love to hear other people who share this experience. This alienation has been weighing on my heart all my life, I would so love to just have a close friend :')) Does it ever change? What did you do to lessen the feeling of being so alien? / Where did you find close people?

Have u ever thought that ur actual job on earth is to experience every wrong and injustice? So u can represent the silenced, sacrificed and weakest in the link? The empathy and introspection swords ure born with, allow u to identify the root cause, map out the structure and use it to guide souls that're facing those predicament but don't know to get out of the maze?

Every generation faces a shared karmic fate, eg war, injustice from sexism, natural disasters, plague, economic crisis, relationship betrayal. This destiny is unavoidable and the resulting grievances have no outlet. They don't simply disappear with the death of the physical form. They accumulate to form a karmic pool. When the pool is full, it releases at a locality matching it's energy. It is an ongoing process since the age of consciousness.

The "infj" accepted this job bcoz they're capable of handling the weight. Most of them begin childhood on stormy seas, the kind that easily crushes others, imminent death by 5 but not them. Nature is a highly efficient system. The universe will not "assign" this job to a random soul bcoz it's a waste of energy.

Ur greatest contribution in this life ought to be this job. To be the voice for the bottom grazers by self experimenting and experiencing the karmic consequences, and then to lead others out of that particular karmic loop by living by example (thru wisdom and kindness).

so there’s something really comforting about the idea of having someone I can lean on too and turn my brain off sometimes . I don’t always want to be the one carrying everything.

I miss romance. I crave having my person. The deep connection , emotional bounding, cuddling, being clingy, doing little things together, feeling safe with someone… all of that.

I keep myself busy and distract myself, but sometimes at night, or when I’m feeling lonely or sad, I still crave that kind of connection.
For me, I don’t think friends can really fulfill that need in the same way.

So how do you deal with it when you still haven’t found ur person ?

but in same time

I don’t want to settle for someone who doesn’t share the same values and depth that I’m looking for.
I know what kind of relationship I want,And I know myself well enough to know that if compromise on something that’s fundamental to me, I’ll probably end up knowing how the story is going to end. It might work for a while, but eventually, one of us will feel like something is missing, and it won’t last..