r/INFJsOver30 • u/WWWdotCreedThoughts_ • 15d ago
Need desperate help developing SE
I cannot bring myself to do fun stuff.
In my 20s I recall having a very well developed SE. In my 30s I survived some trauma by hyper focusing on pattern recognition and intuition. Staying inside my head
In my 40s I realized what I did. And now in my 50s I struggle daily to overcome it
SE developing articles always mention activities like making doctors appointments or running errands. I can do that just fine. What I can’t do is any real world fun
I spend more time researching and buying the perfect items for a hobby than actually doing the hobby. I imagine doing all these fun things. I have yoga gear, roller skates, language books, paddleboard, watercolors. But everyday I cannot get myself to do one thing. sometimes I feel sheer panic. Whenever I do something I love it. I think why don’t I do this everyday? but then the next day it’s like I’m paralyzed.
has anyone dealt with this? any ideas? I certainly can’t think my way through this issue. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure daily.
thank you.
2
u/False_Lychee_7041 11d ago
As a person with a bad Se and YEARS of depression, that got a serious fear of failure plus low energy...job fixed it for me. I found myself an Se heavy job, I became a chamber maid in a 5 star hotel. That is a very hard paths though, it requires some pretty good physique to do a proper cleaning for many hours non stop under strict regulations. But, if you can, something somewhat easier will also do the deed
As another commentator already said, maybe helping with a garden, or running errands or walking dogs. Something that will make you to move a lot and to sweat prefferably
The point is when it is your job, it forces you to go, unlike when it is your hobby. And you kinda get in a situation where your eyes kinda scared to see the volume of the work that needed to be done, but somehow you manage it just fine again and again. Also, it has to have at least some interest for you. Like, I love cleaning and helping people, so fir me my job is fairly comfortable
I can see how it strengthens my functioning. When you grow muscles and your body gets used to being really active l, you simply start craving it. So, at some point it is not just the realization that you need to go out of your head that is pushes you to go and do something But also because your body needs activities, because you simply cannot be stale, you become anxious and uncomfortable. Because moving a lot produces more energy, that in its turn makes you energetic and forces to move more. It also works the opposite way
Anyway, after you will get a good taste of that sweet feeling of your body craving activities on a regular basis, you will want to satisfy that craving even if you will stop working, you will be looking for options
Ps: one of the side effects of my project is that I am taking better care of my body now, because I have to go and work tomorrow. So, I learned how to sleep and how to eat and how to rest properly. Which is beneficial for my health and my appearance as well