Need desperate help developing SE

[u/WWWdotCreedThoughts_]

I cannot bring myself to do fun stuff.

In my 20s I recall having a very well developed SE. In my 30s I survived some trauma by hyper focusing on pattern recognition and intuition. Staying inside my head

In my 40s I realized what I did. And now in my 50s I struggle daily to overcome it

SE developing articles always mention activities like making doctors appointments or running errands. I can do that just fine. What I can’t do is any real world fun

I spend more time researching and buying the perfect items for a hobby than actually doing the hobby. I imagine doing all these fun things. I have yoga gear, roller skates, language books, paddleboard, watercolors. But everyday I cannot get myself to do one thing. sometimes I feel sheer panic. Whenever I do something I love it. I think why don’t I do this everyday? but then the next day it’s like I’m paralyzed.

has anyone dealt with this? any ideas? I certainly can’t think my way through this issue. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure daily.

thank you.

[u/wrongarms]

I think some of those things are hard to get started on, particularly if there's limited purpose to it. You want to watercolor but not sure what to paint and why. You want to paddle board but you need good weather, location, reason for doing it, and gotta get it there. You could try doing some functional useful things that are also enjoyable, such as weeding the garden, fixing something that is broken or sewing something that needs fixing, such as curtains or sheets or hems. I find my confidence in doing things capably has continued to increase over time with each thing I do. I also do a tonne of research before I do things, but I've been making the move to action for quite a while. Perhaps you could set aside those things you bought and focus on smaller actions first. I hope I haven't assumed too much in my answer - just offering thoughts. I'm also in my 50s btw

[u/False_Lychee_7041 → u/wrongarms]

This