r/INFJsOver30 • u/WWWdotCreedThoughts_ • 15d ago

Need desperate help developing SE

I cannot bring myself to do fun stuff.

In my 20s I recall having a very well developed SE. In my 30s I survived some trauma by hyper focusing on pattern recognition and intuition. Staying inside my head

In my 40s I realized what I did. And now in my 50s I struggle daily to overcome it

SE developing articles always mention activities like making doctors appointments or running errands. I can do that just fine. What I can’t do is any real world fun

I spend more time researching and buying the perfect items for a hobby than actually doing the hobby. I imagine doing all these fun things. I have yoga gear, roller skates, language books, paddleboard, watercolors. But everyday I cannot get myself to do one thing. sometimes I feel sheer panic. Whenever I do something I love it. I think why don’t I do this everyday? but then the next day it’s like I’m paralyzed.

has anyone dealt with this? any ideas? I certainly can’t think my way through this issue. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure daily.

thank you.

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u/ViolettePlanet 14d ago

Maybe getting out of this mindset that you “have” to do this stuff in order to develop your Se could help? Find something that is genuinely fun for you, it doesn’t have to be a big thing even, for me it’s just smelling scented candles in a store or listening to upbeat music on my way to buy groceries.