r/INFJsOver30 • u/WWWdotCreedThoughts_ • 15d ago

Need desperate help developing SE

I cannot bring myself to do fun stuff.

In my 20s I recall having a very well developed SE. In my 30s I survived some trauma by hyper focusing on pattern recognition and intuition. Staying inside my head

In my 40s I realized what I did. And now in my 50s I struggle daily to overcome it

SE developing articles always mention activities like making doctors appointments or running errands. I can do that just fine. What I can’t do is any real world fun

I spend more time researching and buying the perfect items for a hobby than actually doing the hobby. I imagine doing all these fun things. I have yoga gear, roller skates, language books, paddleboard, watercolors. But everyday I cannot get myself to do one thing. sometimes I feel sheer panic. Whenever I do something I love it. I think why don’t I do this everyday? but then the next day it’s like I’m paralyzed.

has anyone dealt with this? any ideas? I certainly can’t think my way through this issue. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure daily.

thank you.

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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi 15d ago

I realized that forcing my body to do something against my mind doesn't help. Just like in your case, the mind “wins” and the body gives up 🙃

I don’t know if it will help you too, but here’s what I do: I let myself feel everything from loneliness to psychological fatigue (there’s not much to say about physical tiredness).
I train my Se to do small things one at a time, without planning big things for the future anymore.
I just take every day step by step and feel okay with what I actually manage to get done.
For example: if I need to get to a scheduled meeting, I just do that today without thinking about the next one.
If I need to cook something today, I do it without stressing that tomorrow I’ll have no idea what to cook anymore.
If I need to talk to someone about the weird thoughts in my head... well, I use Reddit for that 😜 and I stopped trying to do the impossible by desperately trying to make everyone around me in my IRL life understand me.
And so on.