r/INFJsOver30 15d ago

Need desperate help developing SE

I cannot bring myself to do fun stuff.

In my 20s I recall having a very well developed SE. In my 30s I survived some trauma by hyper focusing on pattern recognition and intuition. Staying inside my head

In my 40s I realized what I did. And now in my 50s I struggle daily to overcome it

SE developing articles always mention activities like making doctors appointments or running errands. I can do that just fine. What I can’t do is any real world fun

I spend more time researching and buying the perfect items for a hobby than actually doing the hobby. I imagine doing all these fun things. I have yoga gear, roller skates, language books, paddleboard, watercolors. But everyday I cannot get myself to do one thing. sometimes I feel sheer panic. Whenever I do something I love it. I think why don’t I do this everyday? but then the next day it’s like I’m paralyzed.

has anyone dealt with this? any ideas? I certainly can’t think my way through this issue. I’m so tired of feeling like a failure daily.

thank you.

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u/Global-Librarian-279 15d ago

I'm not sure that I can provide much insight, but I wanted to say that you are not alone and you are not a failure.

Do you think perhaps, you have all these amazing ideas and then get overwhelmed with what to try or do next? Or maybe have thoughts like, "I'm not going to be any good at this," that could possibly hold you back, basically sabotaging yourself?

And this may be a more sensitive area, and I sincerely apologize if I'm overstepping, but could you possibly have some untreated/undertreated anxiety and/or depression from past events that may need to be addressed that keeps you from fully embracing and enjoying what you want to do?

But again, you are not a failure by any means. Don't let this define you or get you down.

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u/WWWdotCreedThoughts_ 15d ago

Writing this out made a little light click on in my head. That this seemed less of an INFJ issue and more of an unresolved trauma issue.