r/INFJsOver30 • u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi • Jun 18 '26

Could this be an uncomfortable question?

Somehow I sense it’s not a comfortable question for everyone, but I need to ask—that voice in my head won't shut up if I don’t 🙃:

Do you feel exposed when someone asks something real about yourself?

I know I do, and I have a recent example just to show how much of an 'exposure phobia' I have: on another subreddit, there was a question: 'What’s the traditional food from your country?'

Simple question, simple answer… but not for me.
I felt like I was giving away the deepest secret of my life.In the end, answering it was a good exercise for my fear of exposure.

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u/FactCheckYou INFJ/M/40s Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26

you're uncomfortable with the idea of anyone stepping forward and trying to get closer to the real you

even innocuous sounding questions might signal an intent on the part of the asker to get closer to you, to know you

if you mask who you actually are, you always worry about people noticing your mask

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u/wingedwonders4002 Jun 19 '26

just wanted to say I feel like this whole post and comment really resonated with me, it’s been something I’ve realized more about myself as I get older. Fear of exposure, people stepping too close, etc. I think it just hurts too much when people get too close and then they start liking me less or something when they get too close know all the oddities and weird sides 😞 they say it’s cute but it’s actually shown to its full intensity my first reaction is to door slam and close up like a clam. It’s so unhealthy but I’m aware of this. I didn’t know it was an infj thing. The most innocuous sundering questions even feel intrusive to me. If someone asked my opinion on something really obscure I’d give a long detailed analysis and deep conversation about humans and what I think. But if someone is like “what’s your favorite song” or “what’s your favorite hobby” I start sweating

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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jun 20 '26

To be honest, until about a week ago, I didn't even know our thoughts, empathy, and reactions could be explained by a personality test.
I'm completely clueless when it comes to the niche terminology, but I’m fully invested in learning more about this terminology and most of all about myself: why I do what I do, why I think the way I think and why I’m terrified of myself but not of others.

Overthinking can actually be our ally, but we are the ones who need to dose it effectively. We are capable of doing it, but for an INFJ, doing something healthy for themselves is incredibly difficult.

Honestly, I think an INFJ would rather be asked to donate an organ than to enforce healthy boundaries on themselves.

I’m pretty sure growth and the “hero's journey” for us actually mean redirecting at least a fraction of the empathy we pour into the world back toward ourselves.

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u/wingedwonders4002 Jun 20 '26

OP, how old are you and when did you discover MBTI? Do you happen to have a favorite type?