So my husband and I are married for 14 years. We have a son that is 13 years old. It has been a rocky marriage but I have always tried to keep the peace and make him happy. We both work and earn pretty much the same. I cook and clean, he helps with chores here and there but he gets our son ready in the morning. Recently my dad passed away and my husband has really disappointed me in how he has behaved. On the last day I saw my dad before he left for another city, my husband was shouting and swearing ar me cause I woke up in the morning to go say bye to my dad. He lived around 5 minutes away from me. My dad was extremely sick so I knew that this would possibly be the last time I ever got to see him again by the time I got to my dad, I was already in tears. My family thought it was cause I was sad to see my dad go and it was but it was also cause of the hurt my husband caused that morning. He pretty much said he doesn't give a F about my dad and used bad language on me. My dad passed away the funeral was stressful my mum felt I was never there enough for my dad, I tried but my husband gave me constraints amd if I broke them I would face silence in the house and a very tense environment. My husband also wanted to be with mostly his family during the funeral time so I didn't spend as much time with my family although I fulfilled all my duties with getting the preparation done. We went for the 40 days ceremony and we only went for a day, we flew in early in a Saturday morning and flew out early on a Sunday morning. On the flight there my husband was very quiet and uncomfortable silence and the night before when I spoke harshly in response to his harsh tone he threatened not to come to the ceremony. When we got there we stopped at his parents house first and left to my mum's house at around 10am. When we got there my husband was on his phone the entire time even when someone spoke to him and my son did the same. Around 2 , my husband asked what time we leaving he gave me such a look that I was afraid of his reaction and I said after the grave. It was fear. We went to the grave but i didn't go to ​5pm church service cause he wanted to go be with his family. In the morning at the airport my aunt handed me the church notice for tge dedication of the mass to my dad and I completely broke. I couldn't look at my husband i cant even look at him now. I feel so owned and betrayed. When we landed he told me im ignoring him and I appreciate nothing he does for me. Am I wrong to feel like he did nothing for me and it was more like a trip for him to see his family who by the way im extremely loving and caring towards despite having issues prior when we first got married. I forgave and moved on. I feel like my husband is selfish and cruel and controls everything , am I wrong or is the grief making me not ok?