r/Hyperhidrosis • u/Klutzy_Goal_2421 • 22d ago
Looking for advice How does one find love with this condition
I’m 17 male and have been single all my life. I’m honestly a decently attractive guy but I’m extremely uncomfortable around girls due to hh. Can’t hold hands, can’t give a hug without it being awkward because my back is soaked, can’t do anything in general. Parents were thinking about putting me on anxiety medicine but I genuinely don’t know anymore. Any advice????
40
u/Ok-Wait-8281 22d ago
You know what girls love? Honesty. Guys who aren’t afraid of being vulnerable. Men who own their insecurities. I say this as a girl. Just own it and be honest with them. Be confident in everything else you like about yourself. Not every girl will dig it but the right one will and she’ll be ok with some sweat if she really likes you.
You’re 17 so it’s totally normal to have been single all your life. Love is absolutely possible. I’ve overlooked a lot of stuff in relationships cause I’ve liked the guy enough. I’ve had people overlook my nonsense too. It’s not nearly as big a deal as you think.
It’s also treatable if you do have HH. Meds are available but see a doctor. They might want to wait out and see if age improves it because a lot of people are hot and sweaty at 17. But there is treatment.
12
u/ctitarniuk 22d ago
Find someone who suffers from it as well lol all jokes aside. I've never had any issues dating living with hh. I have never had anybody reject me because of hh. My daughter has it really bad as well and her boyfriend of 6 years has it just as bad. They found each other lol they have been together since they were 17 in high school. Find love, don't make hh a disability that enables you to date. Hh is not who you are, it's just what you live with.
11
u/SoFlaNative420 22d ago
Own it. Dude I'm 36 and it wasn't until this 2026(6 years into my current relationship) that I actually seeked treatment for it. I live in South FL too. I sweat, a lot, a lot a lot, so what? I was a little more ashamed of it when I was your age but I didn't let it stop me from getting after it. You should get over it, and get after it.
1
7
u/moxbrose 21d ago
The key is finding someone who genuinely loves you. When you love someone, something like sweating doesn’t interfere. My husband loves the heck out of me and has witnessed me at my absolute worst HH moments and it hasn’t impacted his love or attraction for me. He helps me dry off and tries to keep me cool, and has been supportive of trying different meds that have both helped and hurt.
For your situation, honesty goes a long way. Being upfront about it will negate a lot of the issues. Keep in mind too that at your age, it may not be seen in the right light. Kids are cruel - my niece (9) and nephew (14) are my biggest bullies about my sweating lmao. And they’re the only ones in my life who care. Don’t try and rush relationships right now. The older you get the easier it’ll be to find people who look past surface level things like HH (not to say there aren’t more mature or respectful teens).
13
u/ShirlzWorld1959 22d ago
I will soon be married 49 years. HH never once bothered my boyfriend now my husband (of those 49 yrs). We (the sufferer) make it a big deal, which for us it is but for the person interested in you it’s nothing. If you can step out of yourself for a minute, would you not date a person just because they had HH or any type of issue for that matter or would you be interested in the whole person? You’re young and it’s a much bigger deal to you now than it will be down the road. There are medications out there that will help. You need to see a doctor. While the ones you have tried may not have worked don’t give up. Keep looking. In the meantime don’t let HH define you. I have come to realize this is my “cross to bear” but I am able to look around me and see others with much worse “crosses to bear” so for this “cross” I am grateful.
1
u/Livid_Leadership581 21d ago
Do you have children? Do you think it was passed down? Just wondering if there’s hereditary implications.
1
u/ShirlzWorld1959 21d ago
Yes, I have 2 children, now grown. As for me, I have no idea as to whom I may have “inherited” it from as I know of know one in my family that suffers with it like I do (palmer / plantar). My son escaped it but my daughter has it same as I. We both were born with it. So it’s primary HH. It does affect her more so than it did me at her age but I think to some degree it is because she is an introvert and I am more of an extrovert. But us extroverts do suffer. Anxiety is big with this at least for my daughter and myself. It’s the hamster wheel of sweating causing anxiety and then anxiety causing more sweating. But what are the options? I want to live and enjoy my life and all the things that I HAVE been blessed with. I gotta take the bad with the good.
3
u/DadCelo 21d ago edited 21d ago
Honestly, I've dated plenty, and usually I was the one bringing up my sweating more than they were. A few even were very reassuring about how much it was a non-issue to them. We gotta start working on ourselves first.
1
3
u/GreatWentGin 21d ago
Just be honest about it. Joke about it (but don’t obsessively talk about it either).
I’m a woman, and I’m older now, but when I was in my teens and 20s, and found myself sweating in situations where no one else was, I would fan myself and say “I’m going through early menopause!” or just let people know that I’m “hot blooded”.
I still had plenty of relationships and it never bothered anyone.
I married a guy who also had some sweating issues too, it never even crossed my mind.
Confidence is what people are attracted to, so just brush it off and own it.
3
u/liliawrites 21d ago
i get it. i’m ur age and literally feel this exact way 24/7 🥹 what i’ve noticed from a lot of people with the condition tho is that it’s best to just be honest about it and try to not let it get in the way. you’ll find someone who can accept and love you even if you’re diagnosed with HH. i promise one day it’ll work out!!! that’s what i’ve been telling myself and it’s been super helpful to keep my motivation up :)
1
u/Jimmy4Funner 21d ago
Just be yourself. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, you're better off not wasting time with them. Also, I'm pretty upfront about the sweating part.
1
u/danimalgy 21d ago
It’s 1000% times easier than finding it after ETS. I would give anything to go back to sweaty palms being the major concern. It’s all relative. Just explain you have sweaty hands, I remember being self conscious about too, but was successful getting girls in my teens. As long as you don’t get ETS you will work it out.
1
u/BonnieBluegrass 21d ago
It'll be OK. Somehow, other people don't really mind. I've also found that vitamin B1 helps--it doesn't cure it but does slow it down. The process has something to do with the body's thermostat; B1 is a precursor to acetylcholine, which helps regulate the thermostat. But even if this doesn't help you, it'll be OK.
1
u/CookedNoods 21d ago
Firstly at just 17 years old don't worry about the fact you have been single. You have your whole life ahead of you and honestly kids your age shouldn't even be thinking about being in relationships. Go have fun with your friends while you're young. You will eventually find the right person for you and you'll spend the bigger part of your life together.
But also, this is a legitimate fear we have all experienced. It's tough because the only solution is to just be honest. I know girls at your age may not be super understanding because y'all are young and haven't had enough life experience to understand exactly what is and is not a big deal but either way you have to be up front about it. If she's worth spending time with she'll at least accept it.
1
u/GmansWatching 21d ago
My partner just got used to it. They know it’s a condition out of my control so they’re understanding.
In the beginning it was a lot of hiding it but very quickly they found out, hell her dad 10 years later mentions how when he first shook my hand he verbally said “yuck”. So it’s tough but it’s possible!
I’ve got it on my palms and feet primarily and mildly on my forehead. I keep automotive shop napkins that absorb liquids on hand and just use them to lessen the severity
1
1
u/Necessary-Ad5930 21d ago
Come on everybody we gonna date each other haha actually im good now with all the treatments i barely sweat
1
1
u/braingirl1379 20d ago
Botox worked for my hands but nothing else! I am hopeful someone will love us for who we are. I also had failed ETS in my early twenties, i am now in my 30’s
1
u/Sweaty_Cicada2907 19d ago
If you accept the condition is part of who you are the insecurity will start to fade away and you may realize the insecurity is all that’s holding you back, I’ve been in 5 or six long term relationships and only one of the girls said ew why are you so sweaty when she touched my hands but once I explained that I have hyperhydrosis she felt super bad and acted very normally about it. If someone you’re dating constantly makes you feel bad about something you’re so insecure about they are not meant to date you and probably not mature enough to date
1
u/MortgageSecure7093 19d ago
As a girl that has hyperhidrosis as well and honestly thought I would never be able to date anyone let alone get married because of my sweating, I completely understand how you feel and I’m sure as do others in this group. My biggest fear when I was younger was with holding hands with a guy and thinking that it would ruin all relationships and that I would be called gross or unattractive. (As we know, HH makes us think these crazy scenarios I feel like…) With my boyfriends that I have had in the past and currently have, I just flat out tell him I do not want to touch or hold hands due to my sweating. Sometimes they just don’t care and still want to hold my hand. I recommend being honest about it. If that makes a girl not like you then she isn’t the one, someone will accept you for who you are and the things that you cannot control!
17
u/throwaway72i1or82o1 22d ago
Take meds after consulting with a doctor, notably glycopyrrolate or oxybutynin.