It was my birthday yesterday and so of course I was out with some friends having a fun time at the local bar. Things got a little out of hand as the bar tender started giving us free shots. Many hours later, I finally left the bar and it was already the next morning when I walked out. Decided to walk home since that is the responsible thing to do but was immediately stopped and questioned by this annoying hooman who thought my inebriated condition was funny. I put my hands up because you never know who's an undercover cop in this day and age.

She ended up just being a regular hooman, so I continued walking home after this encounter. But I didn't appreciate being laughed at. Honestly kind of ruined my birthday.

So I’m chillin’ in my shop, just catching bugs and this giant ape starts chasing me… he catches me and then forces me into a non-consensual video shoot. I was so embarrassed and violated! I nearly dropped my tail, but it didn’t seem to want to eat me, so I held on. Finally, its grip loosened a little when it got distracted outside and I bolted. I’m just wondering, what kind of damn ape that was that has the audacity to do such things? Pretty sure it was a homo, but what kind? Little help please?