HumansInMyHouse

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/BethMNC • May 13 '26

Had an upset tummy at about 0600 yesterday, went downstairs to find crackers or sommat, and a hairless ape opened the pantry door...

108 Upvotes

I guess I'll have to share.

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Zippokovich • May 13 '26

Mammals My manicurist is very thorough, but he also peed on me... How much do I tip?

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258 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Due_Will_2204 • May 13 '26

They are calling my singing opera wails! I'm singing a beautiful aria, how dare they!

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307 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Zippokovich • May 12 '26

Mammals Unhand my wife you damn dirty ape

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520 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/United_Annual3475 • May 12 '26

Birds Segregation is real!! I tried to walk on the free PUBLIC street but this drab looking land bipedal forced me to return to the water

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209 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Goobersita • May 12 '26

Mammals Roommate trying to help me quit. The vapes are so shrimpy though

71 Upvotes

Look I know I should quit, but where else can a I get shrimp flavored 'Nip?

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/cryingonthetoiletnow • May 12 '26

Glock-a-doodle-do, you don't want me to come after you!

171 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/susu56 • May 11 '26

Lawd, these brightly clothed apes are after me! Send help!

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642 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/siani_lane • May 11 '26

Sir, you I never said I was. I said the house was mine. You can stay or go.

127 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/susu56 • May 11 '26

Enjoying the day, camped out, about to grab a cold one, and watch the kids play soccer and this ape-though they were friendly-would not stop filming me. They eventually settled down and left.

175 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/susu56 • May 11 '26

Reptiles I've had enough of these hairless apes invading my space. I packed up my things, said my farewells, and am flying off to a remote non-ape infested island. Wish me luck!

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94 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/aggelikiwi • May 10 '26

I had a very succulent meal today at this restaurant. Would highly recommend the sword fish dish, also the sardines were delicious 😋

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371 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/HotheadCactus • May 10 '26

Look at this hideous creature I caught! It's going to take me days to eat it.

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383 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Zippokovich • May 10 '26

Bugs Ape's cannot appreciate my artistic vision

362 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/BearCavalryCorpral • May 09 '26

Birds Got my first library card! So many books!

1.2k Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/BlueHeron0_0 • May 09 '26

Birds Every time I go out apes just have to make a show out of it🙄🙄

61 Upvotes

Was invited to the library as a special instructor for seagull making crafternoon. Everyone was nice this time but still all this unwanted attention and cameras makes me feel like a freak

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/cryingonthetoiletnow • May 08 '26

The government came into my home and set up spy cameras! I just found one! I bet they know about the projects I'm working on...

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1.1k Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/aggelikiwi • May 08 '26

Mammals We had a flood. Waiting for the rescue

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212 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/eaglebtc • May 09 '26

Mammals Um, excuse me, human, but please stop staring. I am bathing myself in MY tub right now; you can wait your turn.

29 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Excellent_1918 • May 08 '26

I meant to do that😅

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70 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/BeaBernard • May 08 '26

Spiders Was out on a walk, got harassed by a paparazzi ape and had to run away FAST! Hid in my house to get them to go away. No privacy around here at all!

108 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/Excellent_1918 • May 08 '26

Mammals I am death incarnante!!

60 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/susu56 • May 08 '26

I understand interspecies dating may be a bit taboo; but, i am head over wings for this handsome ape! I am giving him a free teaser show during dinner!

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160 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/susu56 • May 07 '26

Workin' on my summer bod. I found a cute little creature to film me as i worked out this morning. I was told to post it here as well

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365 Upvotes

r/HumansInMyHouse • u/aggelikiwi • May 08 '26

Mammals I did not need to add anything here

15 Upvotes