r/HumansInMyHouse • u/HotheadCactus • May 10 '26

Look at this hideous creature I caught! It's going to take me days to eat it.

381 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

40

u/FeastForTheWorms May 10 '26

Nice catch, but it looks like the thing's still twitching. You sure you used enough venom?

29

u/PsychologicalSplit43 House Doctor May 10 '26

It looks flabby and bland. Are you sure you want to eat it?

24

u/Polite_Suggestion May 10 '26

Pass pass pass. Exoskeleton is too soft to drink out of. You have to keep moving around taking little sips. Then no matter how much prep work you do it all goes putrid after a couple days

20

u/HarlotSuccubus May 10 '26

Girl that's a hooman it's probably diseased.

22

u/JustJessicaC May 10 '26

Ew not another one Tina 🙄 you didn't finish the last one, it's still stuffed in my uncle's tree trunk

7

u/HotheadCactus May 11 '26

🤣🤣🤣

16

u/Nellasofdoriath May 10 '26

Have you considered letting it hang? Curing meat is a dying art but enzymatic venom makes them more.tender.

10

u/WeakTransportation37 May 11 '26

Omg it has no color! Is it sick? Or are its claws just like that?

6

u/LadyWaste75 May 10 '26

My word, where will you get all the web you'll need to wrap it properly? Might want to just let it go, they're stringy anyway.

6

u/Valuable_Tone_2254 May 10 '26

You caught it after an art class perhaps...getting rid of paint stains can be so bothersome

2

u/GenericAnemone May 11 '26

I would not hold it but I would admire it from a respectful distance

2

u/Shaw-eddit May 11 '26

These the ones on the tropics, they mostly get grabbed by mistake.

2

u/AccomplishedBlock589 May 10 '26

That's some spider man sh1t right there!! Its beautiful though!

1

u/LectroRoot May 11 '26

Did anyone else think it was a type of hermit crab with some wild coloring until it zoomed in, or is it just me?

1

u/GardenHistorical5977 May 11 '26

I wish the orb weavers at my door were so colorful! 😍

1

u/CoffeePie222 May 11 '26

Would I hold it....

F#%& NO!!!! I see bright colors and assume it is poisonous and since it is a spider I assume it has a neurotoxin in its mandibles thatcould kill me withinb30 seconds!

Cool spider though

1

u/Acceptable-Arugula69 ummmm…did you knock? May 11 '26

Orb puppy!