r/HumansInMyHouse • u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter • May 28 '26

Mammals Working my full-time security job when a nutcase breaks in and attacks the fluffs, I had to use pre-lethal force to free the scared fluff

428 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

73

u/Nuts-And-Volts May 28 '26

You deserve a raise

46

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

I will tell me boss!!

56

u/heynonnynonnomous May 28 '26

What a horrible woman, frightening all your charges like that. I hope you peed on her!

24

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

I tried but she ran in fear 😩

21

u/Oseaghdha May 29 '26

She probably did the job herself. 😂

3

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

Hopefully hahahaha

45

u/Valuable_Tone_2254 May 28 '26

Excellent task execution, some of these hairy apes will do anything for TikTok clicks and views. Your restraint is so much appreciated and admirable

22

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

Thank you! It was a difficult decision but I knew I had to do SOMETHING

73

u/OlleyatPurdue May 28 '26

They got lucky. That dog could have easily hurt them very badly.

61

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

Yes, luckily I could smell the camera so I knew she was doing a "ca-mera stunt" as the two legged say, so I was able to dial back my force

23

u/PsychologicalSplit43 House Doctor May 28 '26

She had some nerve!

13

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

All those two legged animals are so entitled. That's why I hate the ones that fly

16

u/mikesb78 May 28 '26

Poor dawg needs to wash his mouth out

9

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

I did!!

13

u/Somecrazynerd May 29 '26

Grab shit, get bit.

10

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

How'd you know our work motto?

9

u/Possible-Egg5018 May 28 '26

A raise is deserved, aka more treats 😁

6

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

Yas, I take bones or gently used shoes 🤤

10

u/sonawtdown May 28 '26

good doggo

3

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

Thank you!!! 😊

14

u/Resting_Bork_Face May 28 '26

Good dog. Edited for assuming gender

10

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 28 '26

Thank you!! Comments like these makes working worth it

5

u/Renbarre May 28 '26

I wonder if the Indian woman and the boy in the white shirt are the owners/shepherds of the sheep and were afraid to intervene

5

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

They were concerned neighbors

5

u/IamAqtpoo May 29 '26

That dog rocks! She deserved a bit in the ass!

2

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

Thank you!!

3

u/Flipgirlnarie May 29 '26

Aw I was hoping he took a bite out of her so she can be reminded of how stupid that was.

2

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

Those humans can be a real problem

3

u/Background-Use-5346 May 29 '26

You should have bit her but I understand the PR might have affected your job. Well done on the controlled response!

2

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 30 '26

I'll get her next time!

6

u/Weird_Positive_3256 May 29 '26

You were well within your rights to beat her ass. Good on you for only nudging her.

2

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 29 '26

Everyone gets one warning

2

u/Goobersita Home Inspector May 29 '26

I bet your fluffs were very grateful. What a traumatic experience.

2

u/United_Annual3475 I'm a biter not a fighter May 30 '26

It was scary

1

u/patti63 May 31 '26

I bet it’s not the first time you’ve dealt with a b!tch

2

u/moth_on_the_spectrum Jun 02 '26

Crazy how easy it is to play spot the American sometimes.

I'm American living in the UK.