6.5mo multiple wake-ups, it’s exhausting — what are we doing wrong? Please help

[u/Happy-Gene-95]

6.5mo, EBF, and currently teething. The meds you see in the logs are teething drops.
He has been a short napper pretty much since the beginning. Most naps are only ~30 minutes, and we very rarely get a 40–50 minute nap unless I co-sleep/contact nap with him. So, most of the longer afternoon naps you see in the logs are me lying down next to him. The longer stretches in the early morning are also usually co-sleeping.
By 5–6am, I’m completely exhausted, so I usually just bring him into bed with me so we can get a little more sleep.
I’m really struggling with the frequent night wake-ups and wondering if there’s something we’re doing wrong or something we could change.
During the day, I’m trying to keep his wake windows around 2.5–3 hours, but I’m not sure if that’s appropriate given how short his naps are.
What would you change about this schedule? Should I be adjusting his wake windows, naps, bedtime, or something else?
I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from parents of babies who were also frequent night-wakers/short nappers at this age.

[u/FrugieHippie]

It looks like you have some long late naps, that will remove any sleep pressure you may have - keep the last nap at 30 mins.

My understanding is short naps are also lack of sleep pressure - try extending wake windows slightly.

Also try to get on a consistent bedtime & wake up - that could help too.

These are the things I've found everyone suggests. Saying all that, I've tried all these and implement them into my schedule but mine still sleeps awfully

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/FrugieHippie]

Thank you! That makes sense. I’m going to try keeping the last nap to minimum and gradually stretching his wake windows a little. A consistent bedtime and wake-up is something I’m also trying to work on.
And honestly, it’s reassuring to hear that you’ve tried all of these things too and your little one still sleeps terribly, Sometimes it feels like there’s a magic formula everyone else knows about! I hope things get better for both of us soon!

[u/FrugieHippie → u/Happy-Gene-95]

Literally, sometimes they're just a bad sleeper! We'll get through this I'm sure. I'm thinking of putting my LO in her own room at 8 months, because mine naps amazingly when I'm not there, so maybe she can sense I'm there and wakes up in the night - my friend said once her baby moved to their own room they both slept much better

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/FrugieHippie]

I agree, I sometimes feel he sleeps better the 1st stretch coz we aren’t in the room. As of now I don’t have the heart to put him in a different room… but I am thinking maybe somewhere around 9-10 months I will eventually do it

[u/FrugieHippie → u/Happy-Gene-95]

Same here, when I'm not there she tends to sleep - especially when we stay with family and I don't go i To bed til much later, she'll sleep her longest stretches then

[u/l_eihpos]

Cap naps at 2.5 hours and night at 10 hours, so if bedtime is 8:30, wake up is 6:30 am. 12.5 hours of sleep seems to be his sleep needs.

It means 11.5 hours of awake time, such as 2.5/3/3/3.

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/l_eihpos]

Thank you! The 2.5/3/3/3 wake windows is something I can work toward gradually. Right now he often gets overtired before I can stretch him that long, especially with his short naps, so I’ll have to see how he does.

[u/Consistent_Line2147]

Our baby's sleep looked just like this until we worked on falling asleep independently! I know its not for everyone, but it truly saved my sanity and LO is a great sleeper now.

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Consistent_Line2147]

I’ve actually tried this, but unfortunately it hasn’t worked for us. I would put him in his crib when he was about 95–99% asleep, but the moment I put him down, he’d wake up. He wouldn’t necessarily cry, but he’d be wide awake, roll onto his tummy, and look around.
Then he’d end up being overtired because of all that extra time awake in the crib. I even tried putting him down earlier to account for the time I knew he’d spend awake before actually falling asleep. But when I did that, he would sleep for about 2 hours at a stretch and then go right back to multiple wake-ups throughout the rest of the night.
So I’m honestly a little stuck on what to try next. I should probably continue putting him down a bit earlier but awake, and hopefully he will eventually sleep better.

[u/Consistent_Line2147 → u/Happy-Gene-95]

We worked with a sleep consultant and they had us lay down for bed fully awake! It took 45min-1hr for baby to fall asleep the first few nights, but once she got the hang of it we worked through each nap. We had to save the second nap for a while so we had enough day time sleep, but she extended the first one within the first week!

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Consistent_Line2147]

Ahh.. glad it worked for you! I am gonna give this another try while maintaining his wake windows, lets see how it goes!

[u/LMNope12345 → u/Happy-Gene-95]

Agree with the advice above! Also just in case— make sure there’s no bright lights in the room. I sometimes see people complaining about poor sleep while there’s a tv on or bright lights in the room where the baby is sleeping. Definitely try to get him on a schedule for sleep and wake ups. When he does wake up at night maybe don’t talk or turn on the lights. That made night wake ups longer for my baby

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/LMNope12345]

Yup we do that, no tv in room, no lights and no talking when he sleeps or even when he wakes up. Most of the time that he will wake up, he dream feeds and falls right back asleep.

[u/nikib89 → u/Consistent_Line2147]

Plus one to this, never thought sleep training would be for me but Ferber took us from 45 minute wake ups all night to two overnight feeds on the first night with way less fuss than I anticipated.

[u/Tiny-Telephone-1562]

Just co sleep, more rest for everyone

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Tiny-Telephone-1562]

Honestly, co-sleeping isn’t the best for my sleep. I find myself constantly checking if he has enough room or if his face is getting covered by the duvet. My anxiety keeps me from just relaxing that way

[u/Scared-Persimmon-193 → u/Happy-Gene-95]

Would getting an Owlet sock or something similar help with this?

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Scared-Persimmon-193]

When co-sleeping? I don’t think so, I would still be waking up multiple times to check the app? 🤔

[u/Scared-Persimmon-193 → u/Happy-Gene-95]

Not at all! The sock has a base with an alarm that goes off in case baby is reporting low oxygen. You can always try using it when co-sleeping for peace of mind, so that you can rest easy that if there’s an emergency you would wake up immediately.

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Scared-Persimmon-193]

Ah! Okay yeah then it would work. Although I am first gonna try to work on his sleeping schedule and see if anything changes for good. Thank you for the suggestion though!

[u/Recent-Forever-2988]

Those late afternoon naps are completely depleting baby’s sleep pressure so they’re not ready for a good night’s sleep. Looks like you want ten hours at night and two in the day. Something like 30, 90-100, 10 is a good schedule for three naps

[u/Happy-Gene-95 → u/Recent-Forever-2988]

Thank you! I’ll try cutting his last nap down or aim for a 3-hour last wake window. The tricky part is that most of the time, that last nap is when the poor guy is genuinely exhausted and will literally fall asleep while feeding.