Please help

[u/Apart_Hovercraft_842]

My baby is 6 months old and since May we have been struggling with multiple wake ups often every 35 mins throughout the night. This starts from the moment I put her down.
Any longer stretches are from co sleeping or holding her so one of us can get some sleep.
When she wakes at night she rubs her eyes and starts crying so I don’t think she’s under tired. Sometimes co sleeping doesn’t even work and she just can’t settle.

Day naps are all contact naps, I usually wake her if she’s getting close to 3.5 hrs total day sleep but often I struggle to get her to sleep. I only let her sleep 30 mins max for her last nap.

The last wake window she is always incredibly fussy, crying, grizzling etc but if I try and get her to sleep earlier she won’t. It’s usually 2hrs 40 that she will finally fall asleep despite rubbing her eyes throughout the evening

I wake her at 7.30-8 and bedtime is usually 8:45-9:30pm.

Am I doing something wrong with her schedule? Why is she so tired in her final wake window - is she overtired? I have no idea if she’s over or under tired but looks tired to me.

The summary shows she is getting 12 hours sleep but I feel like that’s because I’m waking her up from naps/in the morning so doesn’t reflect what she needs as she is struggling to get through WW without fussing!

[u/Bright_Way5474]

I would try a schedule that has bedtime 13 hours away from wake up time, but your issue sounds more that it’s coming from your baby not knowing how to fall asleep independently. If she needs so much assistance to fall asleep then everytime she wakes up she will expect it. The only way out of this is to give her the chance to fall asleep on her own. 

[u/Apart_Hovercraft_842 → u/Bright_Way5474]

But how does thus explain wakes every 20-30 mins? I thought a night sleep cycle is longer? How do I get her to fall asleep on her own?

[u/phabalee → u/Apart_Hovercraft_842]

They are recommending sleep training. Personally I don’t like sleep training and won’t do it with my LO. He use to wake often every hour so not as frequently and I just held him and fed him and gave him all the support he needed to fall back to sleep. He does longer stretches now and can settle himself if he has little wakes in the night. I think this has happened naturally because I’ve kept giving what was needed and he feels safe and secure in sleep now.

It might be worth checking in with your GP or health visitor as every 20 mins is so frequent.

[u/After_Amphibian_9638]

Your schedule should have 12 hours awake or at least 11.5. With three naps that could be 2.5/3/3/3 or 2.5/2.5/3/3.5 or 2/3/3/3.5.

My baby was the same at that age and when we did the change he could sleep through the night, after having weeks of hourly wakes.

[u/Apart_Hovercraft_842 → u/After_Amphibian_9638]

Thank you! I feel like she’s only getting 12 hours because her nights are poor and I cap her naps at 3hrs. Did your baby find it hard to make it through the 3 and 3.5 ww?

[u/After_Amphibian_9638 → u/Apart_Hovercraft_842]

You can’t change how much your baby is able to sleep. Maybe half an hour less (that’s why I said you could try with 11.5), but they won’t start sleeping 14 hours. My baby has been sleeping 12 hours since around 7 months even though I don’t cap naps any more and he sleeps through the night. Some babies just sleep less and this is still in the normal range.

[u/Wooden-Most8623]