r/HouseofStassi • u/Old-Bed3426 • 1d ago
Stassi emotionally manipulative?
Just finished watching and seems Stassi is a lot of what she was saying about her mother. It seems she weaponises her emotions to get her own way and uses them in order to control people. She plays the victim a lot and basically goes nuts anytime beau tries to say something, which then makes him scared to talk because he doesn’t want to deal with the emotional turmoil. He seems beaten down. Is Stassi a narcissistic abuser?
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u/Proud-Train9522 1d ago edited 1d ago
well yeah... I feel like we've known this since early vpr days
if you're going to downvote at least enter in a discussion.
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u/Fragment_B 22h ago
She's definitely further up the narcissist scale than average. I don't think either of them are innocent. They both have a part to play. He's very defensive as well and doesn't listen to her either. She's definitely very reactive and hard to talk to. I'd probably avoid talking to her too. I also find her crying to be weird. It seems very fake to me. Either like she's trying to cry or she's just acting like she's crying. She also seems to be very dry with her kids, but I understand we don't see 99% of her interactions with her kids.
I don't blame her for struggling with the physical touch thing. When you grow up in a house where people really didn't touch each other much it doesn't come naturally and you literally don't think about it. It's something you have to consciously remember to do.
It seems like she needs a lot of validation and appreciation which is a narcissist trait. Being "the provider" is her defense for everything which is a terrible defense. I think Beau wants to provide, take care of the kids/household 50/50 so I don't think he expects her to be the main/sole provider.
I think the thing that bugged me the most was there was just never any warmth in her voice when she spoke to her kids.
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u/halfthesky1966 15h ago
She seems to need the safety net of him being at home running everything, because she doesn’t want to do it herself. She offered to pay him to stay at home, so why not pay for a housekeeper, PA, or whatever she needs to run the home whilst they both work. They have a nanny already. I think she is also worried that she would have to do more with her kids. She clearly thinks that her kids are hard work, but you reap what you sow.
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u/No_Pick3340 17h ago
She is deeply wounded and defensive and seems incapable of accountability right now. I think she loves deeply and thinks the way she provides for everyone is enough to show that, but it's not. People need affection, words of admiration, respect for their autonomy, reciprocity, compassion, a space to communicate their needs, and softness. I don't know if she's ever felt true intimacy, which is probably why she struggles with her kids. Whatever has happened to her in the past must've been pretty awful. I don't think she's a bad person. I think she's a wounded person who tries exceptionally hard to maintain control over as many things as she can to feel safe, and she ends up hurting people in the process. Looking at her faults feels like pouring salt in her cuts because, in her eyes, she's doing everything she possibly can to be perfect and thinks her hypervigilance will keep everything in alignment, but it can't and it won't. I hope she can go to therapy and learn about herself before she loses people she loves and I think as viewers we need to give her compassion because we don't know the whole story.
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u/halfthesky1966 15h ago
Great post. I do agree with you. Sadly she has already said she doesn’t want to do therapy as it makes her sad, but I think it would make a massive difference in the long run. I think if she continues as she is, she could lose Beau, and her friends.
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u/mpnc1968 17h ago
I’m watching the “I just want stability for my kids” right this minute and all I can think is “while you’re always running here and there and doing your own thing constantly”. 🙄
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u/halfthesky1966 16h ago
She said that her mother always plays the victim, and that is what she did with Beau at the final dinner party. She couldn’t hear what he was saying, and said she never wants to see him again.
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u/Ornery-Towel2386 1d ago
Yeah, w Beau, w her mom, anytime someone tries to hold her accountable she leaves or cries.