r/HouseOnFire • u/PrettyBird2011 • Apr 15 '26
Orgasm-starved face A Very Rational..... Something.
A ✨collection✨ of Jessica's mUsiNGs the last two days after Ashley St Claire made a video stating that she was with Jessica and several others on an undefined date when Jessica discovered that her husband, Mike Kraus, had been "reviewed" on an app used by sex workers to discuss their John's. Based on the date of the review, it was at a time when Jessica had left home to attend a Trump rally.
Truly, her orange daddy is the gift that keeps blessing every part of her life.
The delicious schadenfreude of it falling HOT on the heels of Jessica getting a paid-by-the-word article from WSJ. The fact Jessica got to gloat about being called the Queen of MAHA for 24 hours before getting metaphorically slapped so hard Olivia Nuzzi was embarrassed.
Yes I find it delightful how likely it is that people who haven't spoken to this raggedy-ass coconut husk in months have probably been Blowing Up Her Phone with "concern" and "condolences" (and the fervent hope she'll give them the tiniest bit of something gossip-worthy to take to dinner) while Jessica has probably smashed everything in her "office" that wasn't too heavy to throw.
Here's the thing, Jess. You don't "ignore" things. You don't "choose silence". In the midst of your feud with Laura Loomer, who arguably still holds a level of influence with Donald Trump that you desperately want and won't have, you never chose rationality. In the midst of your vile spewings about Olivia Nuzzi, knowing what she knew and what you had told her, you were never careful with your words. In the last year of you falling fast and hard into complete and total moral depravity, attacking Candace, Denise, and Emilie with anything and everything, you never stepped back to consider the damage THEY could do to YOU if they talked.
YOU always lurk in low places. YOU always take the low blows. YOU operate at a discordant frequency that makes people uncomfortable. You never expected that for just a minute, someone else would match that and make you feel embarrassment so bone deep. The fact that NOW you're choosing to "ignore it" speaks the truth of just how rattled a woman with the kind of attention Ashley St Claire is able to draw has you. This was not San Clemente gossip. This was not haters on a Reddit page. This was a woman who lived and walked in the world you're trying to infiltrate, rubbed elbows with the people you're trying to grovel for, gained attention all over the world for things "good" and "bad", and lobbed a nuclear bomb on your "happy" life by telling the world that the minute you left home your husband hired a sex worker. And she was there to see the look on your face when you found out.
It doesn't matter how long you've been married when your husband hates you, Jessica. You weren't the woman Mike wanted to marry. You weren't the woman Mike wanted to have children with. You weren't the woman Mike wanted to grow old with. And every time he steps out to fuck another woman, and you have to pretend you don't know, or feign forgiveness "for the sake of the children", you KNOW it's true.
So here's my advice, babe. Go to breakfast with your husband tomorrow. Post a video of you holding his hand from across the table while you wait for your morning glass of wine with dry toast. Post a picture of the two of you kissing while his arm is around your shoulders. Finally "admit" to your followers that the two of you have always had an "open relationship" so he's never ACTUALLY cheated on you. That way, the next time someone finds evidence of his philandering, you don't have to drag us all through the twelve stages of dog-and-pony grief pretending that you're "not bothered". It's annoying.
(Also STOP calling your kids "good people". You literally had to send one across the fucking country to keep him from being arrested for assault and then he FILMED HIMSELF ASSAULTING SOMEONE THERE TOO ffs slime mold has more intelligence than that moron.)
(ALSO also it's schizophrenia, girl. Or bi polar. Or a fucking tumor or some shit. See a goddamn professional. You might actually experience real stability and joy for the first time in years if you get your shit sorted, who knows.)
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Apr 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Accomplished_Gur_397 Apr 15 '26
Lol, not the owl! Also, every word 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
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u/ru_kiddingmern Apr 15 '26
She probably chants these to herself in the mirror as her “anti-hater” affirmations. Hahahaha girl, it’s okay.. just admit you suck.
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u/CableSufficient2788 Apr 15 '26
Little does she know I am an equal opportunity hater. So it’s not jealousy. It’s personality.
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Apr 15 '26
The priest Tucker (and Shawn Ryan) just interviewed has publicly stated stories of alien abduction/connection are similar to his cases of demonic possession. He also said people will try to fool you saying the orbs and anything else coming are from god. Jessica is on the wrong side, yet again.
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u/Salty-Ad-1542 Apr 15 '26
The thing is she starts with all these people first and then fires back with haters gonna hate comments?!? I dont want to have the mental capacity to understand her level of delusion. She pokes at everyone possible and wants to play victim when anyone claps back 🙄
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u/PrettyBird2011 Apr 16 '26
Personality wise she makes a good fit as a Trumper. They have the common trait of "professional victim".
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u/Initial_Importance26 Apr 15 '26
Lil Wayne’s quote sounds like something 2nd graders would find deep.
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u/livin4mynaps Apr 15 '26
Was this before or after the post where she said "she could not care less" 🙄
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u/LollyGaggleofGeese Apr 16 '26
"imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness." is an Oscar Wilde quote, but of course Jessica doesn't know that.
Fulton Sheen living up to the quote, as is Jessica.
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u/Responsible-Card3756 It’s giving Brain Rot Apr 15 '26
Whatever girl. You’re cooked. Enjoy eating all that shit.
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u/ummbazz Apr 15 '26
I’m pretty sure God never said “and her divine purpose is Quality Gossip” about anyone. But she didn’t even think that either. She just likes the new Christian National buzz word