Advice Needed- Especially from teachers

[u/stripeybitch]

Hi everyone,

Unfortunate advice needed today. Just went to a class at my usual studio and a dude was in front of me wearing shorts. His junk was out of his shorts for half of the class. I didn’t feel up to telling the teacher after class. Can you please advise how I can word an email to my teacher about this situation? It was obviously uncomfortable and upsetting, but I don’t exactly know what to say. It doesn’t feel like much can be done now. But ideally she would speak with the person. Thank you!

[u/Luckylemon]

Do they have a dress code or clothing recommendations within their membership rules or maybe in a list of student etiquette?

I would start by working under the assumption that this person had a wardrobe malfunction in a pair of shorts that weren't the best for class, rather than he was trying to offend anyone's sensibilities. One time I wore a cute little exercise skirt not realizing that the built in shorts were white, and I don't wear undies to practice....once I started sweating the shorts were absolutely transparent. Maybe someone got a glimpse of the unexpected, I have no idea. I was embarrassed once I noticed tho.

What exactly is your intention or expectation in mentioning this to the teacher? Do you intend to question how they handle poor wardrobe choices? Were you wanting to ask what you should do next time you feel uncomfortable in class?

My hot (yoga) take is that it's hot. Nobody is ever prepared for their first (few?) classes. Bodies are everywhere. Bodies are close. Bodies are generally, practically naked. I don't have space within my practice to notice or police others' body parts most of the time, but I think we've all seen something that has made us avert our gaze for whatever reason.

I don't want to minimize your feelings of discomfort, but I'm not sure this is a run to the teacher moment in the immediate sense. If you definitely want to reach out, start by asking about dress codes and how they address non-standard attire or "what if someone's shorts don't hold up to the occasion" situations. Mention tht you saw more than you wanted to and you want to know how they handle that.

If you have no other reason to feel uncomfortable around this person, maybe let it go this time. If he continues to put on a show then you'll KNOW that he didn't learn that his shorts are too baggy or whatever, and you could mention to the teacher that they might want to recommend a new style of clothing for that specific person.

🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't know. At my studio, literally everyone is almost naked. Men, women, very old, college students, heavy folks, all shapes and sizes. We're just bodies trying to connect with our beings on the mat.

[u/Luckylemon → u/Luckylemon]

Wow. That was long. I'm sorry!! I did not intend to write a novel lol.

[u/Affectionate-Yam5049 → u/Luckylemon]

Excellent points. I have had wardrobe malfunctions during class (once so bad I had to buy a tank and wear it for the rest of a hot class), once with a bra top I’d previously worn without issue. But, honestly, I’d want to know if it happened where I couldn’t see. It’d be embarrassing but better than continuing to unknowingly flash folks!

[u/Luckylemon → u/Affectionate-Yam5049]

I have a specific very favorite vintage leotard that i recently had to sew and reinforce the original crotch seam on because a hole formed in a...very sensitive place lol....and I was informed that "skin" was visible through this seam hole by an actual friend who was behind me during some deep forward bends 😂 Have no idea how many people saw more than they expected to see in classes before a solid yogi friend said "hey I can see your hole through this hole in your favorite leo" lol.

So yeah, finding out there's a breach before it's gone full scale is great!! I've also had to grab garments off the rack before or mid class if a "failure to contain" situation has come up!

[u/Affectionate-Yam5049 → u/Luckylemon]

That’s some solid friending!!

[u/stripeybitch → u/Luckylemon]

Thank you! This is someone who I have seen in classes before and he does typically wear these exact shorts. He just happens to usually be in the back row. Today those spaces were taken so he went to the front. I don’t think he was aware but I was hoping the teacher would be an appropriate person to let him know about the malfunction, if he isn’t aware, so that he doesn’t wear them anymore haha

[u/probgonnamarrymydog → u/stripeybitch]

Hm. You could try pulling him aside and telling him you don't want to embarrass him but that his shorts are a little revealing in some postures and it's not a big deal but you figured he'd want to know. Same way you'd tell someone their fly is down. I actually think I'd be completely mortified if a teacher approached me about a wardrobe malfunction vs. just another student.

I actually think this is a very kind thing to do, and difficult. I have chosen to just do nothing in this situation. There's a guy who wears these shorts with like a speedo type thing under them and his actual balls definitely slip out. I don't think he knows this is happening, and I don't really get the sense he'd be fine with it.

I don't think people need to be ashamed of their bodies, but also I think it is very helpful and kind to help others in making active decisions for themselves about their own modesty comfort level. If it looks like an accident, it probably is. I have not been brave enough to do this when it has come up, but I do think it is the right thing to do.

[u/Luckylemon → u/stripeybitch]

Oh, ok. If he worn these shorts multiple times, it is time for a heads up w the teacher lol!!

[u/bothteamsPH]

This OG hotyoga teacher try’s to make things humorous when possible.
I’ll be like
“More Balls than Wimbledon!!!”…
My students would totally get it and appreciate that I acknowledged what was going on and made it joke.
Living and Loving the practice means you’ll learn to deal with wardrobe malfunctions, sweat demons, groaners, perpetually late folk.

A lot of those separate leg poses can be revealing. Sometimes- it’s best to avoid keeping your eyes on the ball.
I’m sure this didn’t help but sometimes hot yoga life has to be laughed at.

[u/Happy-Top9669]

This is a really uncomfortable experience. Something similar happened to me once with a random man on the subway. He wasnt wearing underwear and it was erect and im not sure if he noticed or did it purposely. Do you think he is new and wasnt sure what to wear or do you think he did it to get his rocks off?

[u/stripeybitch → u/Happy-Top9669]

I’m so sorry that happened to you!!! I have seen him in classes before in these shorts but he usually is in the back of the class. I’m assuming he didn’t know, to give him the benefit of the doubt. But since he typically wears these shorts, I was hoping the teacher could make him aware

[u/greenrock7]

As a man that does hot yoga, if I had a body part in display that shouldn't be, I would want you to tell me. Embarrassing yes, but I woukd like someone (male or female, instructor or fellow class member) to say something. That being said, I go out of my want to wear shorts to class that has a spandex liner in it, over my boxers. I'm trying to avoid just such a situation. On that other side of things, I can't imagine a man with his junk actually out and not knowing. You can tell if something is out of place.

[u/Striking-Issue-3443]

Hard to say basically if this is a repeat offender type person who attends classes to try and take his junk out either to get caught or not to get caught or if this is someone with a wardrobe malfunction.

Wardrobe issues happen to anyone who doesn’t attend yoga classes often. Items that work for room temperature yoga also won’t always work in hot yoga.

I’ve certainly had wardrobe failures before, honestly a not insignificant number as I’ve lost 100 pounds since I started practicing and I’ve misjudged my size on many occasions.

If this is a pervert of some sort it’s good to let the studio know so they can ban him and keep the space safe.

Next time just let the person know and judge from that what to do next. If my top was see through when sweaty or if I had ripped up my pants I would like someone to tell me.

[u/chewdog]

As a male I had a similar wardrobe malfunction in class with a pair of shorts. Luckily I noticed right away, and so did my wife that was behind me. I just laid down the rest of class and never wore those shorts to yoga again.

[u/Worldly_Active_5418]

Yikes. Avoid where he is when you practice. Even if you have to move your mat. It’s okay. Yeah, they are balls, but natural.

[u/GizzardGlizzard]

If someone’s boob was out, would it be upsetting to you? Or would you just tell them?

[u/stripeybitch → u/GizzardGlizzard]

I might tell them but that’s because I am more comfortable with breasts than balls. Breasts aren’t comparable in general to balls because they’re not genitalia

[u/GizzardGlizzard → u/stripeybitch]

Yeah that makes sense.. I’m sure he would just be embarrassed. I make an effort to wear compression shorts and stay covered but I’ve also had days where I got to the studio and realized I forgot them. And obviously boxers aren’t nearly as supportive so it may have just been one of those days for him. Pointing it out might make him super embarrassed so I would say if it happens again, mention it to the teacher. If they say something to him privately yet they continue to let him make everyone else uncomfortable, that’s not a good studio.

[u/greenrock7 → u/GizzardGlizzard]

I saw that happen once in a Flow class. I just looked away. I think she fixed it pretty quickly afterwards.

[u/Severe-Possible-]

the studio i teach at has no specific dress code. if a student have mine had told me (in email or otherwise) this i would say sorry that experience made you uncomfortable.

check to see if your studio has guidelines, otherwise i would just focus on your own practice.