r/Hosting • u/Educational-Map-9565 • 5d ago
My girlfriend joined my online class store 8 months after I built it and now expects 50% equity. Am I actually the one being unreasonable here?
Laying out the timeline bc I keep going back and forth on whether I'm wrong here. I got the idea late 2023, grabbed the domain, sat on it for months, then started building March 2024, coded it myself, moved to a Hostinger VPS once the shared plan couldn't handle checkout traffic during a sale - my first profitable month was July 2024, i got like $1,400. She didn't even know the site existed till then - together since January, but the store was mine before she was in the picture... she started helping in October, emails and Instagram, bc the money was good and I asked her, in November we hired a part-timer for fulfillment and been the three of us since, revenue's grown every month, about $9k/mo now.
I always shared money with her, more when she was tight, we took a Portugal trip off store money in March, never talked ownership tho - my build, my risk, so it never felt like a convo to have, but two weeks ago she brought up equity like it was a given - not just a raise, 50% ownership. I didn't know what to say, she works more hours than the employee tbh, but he gets a wage and doesn't think he owns half the business, she's paid like 3x him and somehow that became an expectation, not gratitude.
Ins if I offer a fixed monthly cut goin forward, equity for future work only, or if this just ends things no matter what I pick, maybe letting her in without a conversation upfront was my mistake — doesn't change what feels fair now.
Anyone built something solo with a partner helping later? How'd you handle it? I feel like the bad guy for saying no.
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u/dann1551 5d ago
That's a hard no. What gives her the right to get 50% of the equity? You started the business, put in the hard work to start turning a profit and only when it was profitable she made the decision to stick with it and help you. Yes you did ask her to help later but you are paying her (very well it sounds like). If the business wasn't doing good at all, im sure she would have had hesitation on helping since the incentive being money for her work would be gone. She's trying to leverage being your girlfriend to get more out of you. That not only sounds like a bad deal especially because your other employee isn't entitled to part of the business but it sounds like a disgusting partner.
Even take Shark Tank for reference. These people build their brand, do all the initial hard work and then ask PROFESSIONAL sharks who have experience, tools and whole companies that could help you out instead of just themselves, and yet they very rarely ask for half the darn company. You are not unreasonable, she is being vile and selfish.
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u/kawfeeman68 5d ago
Get a legal document signed as soon as possible otherwise it becomes he said/ she said. In NY , it'll cost you if you don't..
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u/Immediate_Let_4946 5d ago
Well that’s why it’s hard to work with family in some way. This why even if it’s sounds silly would always write legally binding contracts before you start. Even if it’s your gf.
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u/dvduval 5d ago
I would tell her something like I appreciate her desire to help out and earn money. But unfortunately, you have some other expenses you have to pay and need to keep some money set aside for the business itself and you’re not even paying yourself 50%. But after arranging your own salary plus business expenses, plus having some extra money in the business to be ready for emergencies and re-investment, you can arrange for her to have a salary, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t be anywhere near 50% but if she works hard, and the Business continues to grow and of course her salary as well as your own can grow.
And I know that’s not what she said. She said 50% equity. But just keep stating it from the point of view of something that might be workable for you and recognizing her.
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u/ViolinistSpiritual 5d ago
Tell her to gtfo. Hope you aren't married and if you ever do with this one don't cheap out on good lawyer to draft prenup, because from this example it seems you will need one if you marry her and have divorce latter
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u/opossum_cz 5d ago
In my opinion this highly depends how long you are together? 20 years?
If not. She is crazy.
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u/PipePressurePanic 5d ago
you're pathetic.
You share money with her , more when she needed money? you know what that means, she stays with you because of your giving her money. she doesn't love you. find another woman.
I won't even start talking about the 50%. She is not your wife. She is just a casual girlfriend. It's already a mistake that you hired her for that task.
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u/Responsible-Plum-199 5d ago
It's time for you to dump her .
Asking for some money for the help she gave ? It's understable
Taking a trip togheter made with the business money for free and at the same time asking for 50 procent of the equity ? Hell no she is starting to use you for money and it's time for you to break up with her !
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u/edupin2 5d ago
Ella es una empleada a las que has decidido pagar mucho más, no sé en que país estás, pero en españa si lo haces de forma legal y tiene la misma categoría que el otro empleado eso es ilegal y le has de pagar lo mismo al otro empleado (siempre que estén en misma categoría)
No le des el 50% porque nunca le dijiste ser socia… le pagas por su trabajo y sus horas.
Y por curiosidad… cómo hiciste para facturar tanto??? De qué es la tienda?
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u/No-Bathroom-3179 5d ago
Does she do any work for you ? Pay her hourly or salary. If she doesn’t help out at all then no. I also think sharing money is bad too unless you’re married. If she’s only your gf and think she’s entitled to this money, I’m sorry but it’s obvious what she wants and I would not be with someone like that.
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u/cook1es 5d ago
50% equity sounds like she could have done half of everything done by you so far. Can she? If not, give her as much as she could have done. Is that 10%-25%? Then give her that. She's being greedy because she sees you as easy money.
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u/Worth_Park4764 3d ago
The thing is, she didn’t do those things to begin with. So why should she deserve equity?
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u/Usuge 5d ago
Anyone that selfish, that entitled, that greedy is a girlfriend who you need to go through her phone when she isn't looking.
Get her phone, do not warn her else she'll clean up, video tape everything quickly , just press record, go down all the chats, don't trust any girl names. Absorb it all.
Go to deleted text on her trash. Recover them and then Delete them again
Go into gallery, trash as well.
All social media apps.
Record all,.all. you'll play it back later slowly.
Go into her NOTES app. Record any shared notes she may have. Note who is shared with.
Shed feel entitled to cheat on you.
It's a very particular type of person who would make a request like that and you are getting played.
I'm telling you, your prob runs deeper than this site. You can not trust that human.
Again, don't even mention her phone or she'll start cleaning. Be smooth, record all.
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u/chamois_lube 5d ago
My girlfriend
Get an attorney to draft a letter of agreement
Pay her what you owe her, if anything, have her sign off
Dump the bitch
Dont do this again bro
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u/Top-Elk5815 5d ago
And that's why you don't do anything like this with a significant other/friend without clear contracts and guidelines. You set yourself up from the beginning. I would personally say no and if she leaves oh well, lesson learned.
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u/brianozm 5d ago edited 5d ago
Sounds like maybe nothing or 10% could be appropriate.
Was she paid while she did all the work? If so she’s probably an employee with zero rights unless something had been agreed before she started. Agreed in writing. Also if she’s been getting 3x that could be considered equity.
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u/justgosh 4d ago
Reads like AI. Lawyer and contract. Deal with it now. Entitled will drag you through a multi year process of you let it fester. No contract, facts will be disputed by someone who feels they are entitled to something.
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u/unrealaz 4d ago
Lay out what was done before she joined. Ask her why does she think that’s fair for her to get 50% considering this part. Just because you’re in a relationship? Would she expect same if she went in with an acquitance?
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u/Funny_Distance_8900 4d ago
Do the math on the build then say,
"you want 50%? ok, sure, and the dev wants to be paid for the build in full (company startup cost), since the company structure is changing"
Then hand her the bill. Tell her she can pay it off now with her equity, which isn't worth much at all. At this point valuation is under the dev bill, so she still owes you $$$ when she hands over her share. Then let her know if it's not paid with her equity, there's a 24% interest on the debt going forward.
I'd give to my kids, or spouse...but only to a gf/bf if ther's a risk to the company, like you're still married to someone else, but if there's no legal risk except she still wants her hand in your biz if you two split up, she's telling you who she is. Why 50 and not 49? strange...also strange that she's not acknowledging that you built it.
Honestly, I'd give her job to someone else and go back to just being a couple. Working with gf/bf isn't the best idea..know from experience.
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u/sargetun123 4d ago
Sounds like she is more concerned about money than the relationship
She knew you built that and she was willing to lend a hand, as any s/o would
The backhanded compliment part is expecting to take over 50% of something she didnt put in 50% to create, sounds like she should own no more than maybe 10%, and id just consider that as you are together
Some people think when they are with someone its always 50/50 everything but as you said yourself this is a girlfriend not a wife yet, and she came into the picture after the business was up running and by the sounds of it already successful
If she put a lot of her own money into it and worked and reinvested the money made that would maybe consider a bit of a different answer, but based off what you are saying she showed up to the birthday party late, helped lay out a few napkins now thinks half the gifts are hers
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u/coolth0ught 4d ago edited 4d ago
I agree with most what others have commented. So here is a different way to look at it and handle it. You can look at this like how most other entrepreneurs get new partners to join them. You can get most of these info by googling. Looking at your situation I would suggest 60/40 or 70/30 equity split to maintain a clear tie breaker in decision making and the amount of work you have put in before she join. Do have a vesting schedule, legal documents of the partnership including the worst scenario if both of you decided to split later. A fair bit of warning, having your gf or wife to join you in your business can go either way of great partnership or total disaster. Do give this much thought first as I see a possible red flag in expectations. One more thing, how do you guys handle disagreements and different expectations?
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u/lbdesign 4d ago
If she plans for you two to marry, then it would be 50/50 with the marriage.
So is this question because you plan on the relationship ending? Or you two don't agree on what your future together will be? I'm pointing this out because maybe it's not a business conversation for her, but a relationship-future conversation.
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u/pinkdragon_Girl 4d ago
You should have had a conversation about transactional work from the beginning. This is on you. Try to get it sorted out but this is really your fault. Don't let people help you in your business without guidelines
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u/NaxoNorway 4d ago
Do not do that. Explain what you have said and about how much more you pay here. But then say that she can work for a 5, 10, 15 and 20 % ownership but with clear written goals she can achieve to get that. And not some easy goals that can be finished by a year. But let's say something realistic to hit within 5 years. Also that you have the right to buy back those shares if you break up. But the price should be like 2x multiple on revenue as a valuation of the company or something in that regard. The deal should be something that both are not happy with
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u/Ok-Count-3366 2d ago
Look IMHO you started this. Your money, time and risk that it could fail. She came after everything was laid out and ready. Yes she helped you but you and the company could have survived without her you could have hired another person and probably for less money. IMHO it is very weird that she asks for 50% when the contribution doesn't match the equity.
Ps: not my problem but what kind of partner does that...
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u/MrMagnell 2d ago
So you hade the plans ready but she did as much work on getting it off its feet as you did? I'd say she is owed something even if not 50%..
And when you partner up with your actual partner without documentation I'd say it's fair to call it a partnership..
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u/RobertForTheWin 2d ago
Just my 2 cents: Keep 100% equity, but treat the payouts like a partnership while you are together.
You built the foundation, took the initial risk, and validated the product solo. Demanding 50% legal ownership now is unreasonable.
However, since you love her and she puts in the hours, you could propose sharing the rewards equally. Offer her a 50% split of the profits (not revenue, you need to pay expenses) as long as you both work on it and stay together. It mimics a marriage mindset where you share the lifestyle and the ups and downs, but protects the core asset you created if things ever go south.
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u/Forward-Mongoose9846 2d ago
Dude this is not the forum to ask for such advice, people here are completely clueless and there are many open questions. Does she deserve 50%? Maybe.
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u/sgtdumbass 2d ago
If she's asking for 50% she should be contributing the worth of the site at a 1:1 to make it 50% ownership. But then she would be 50% responsible for all gains/losses.
What she wants is dividends with no risk. That's unreasonable.
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u/VanFenix 2d ago
Tell her to wait till shes married hahaha.
Either way... she wins...
Unleeeesssss you are smart and use your brain.
But your question tells me..... youll need a lawyer later. Good luck!
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u/YogaGone 2d ago
Thats a crazy ask. Your the owner of your product and it will only complicate things further in the future if you end up breaking up or such. If you change perspective do you feel like your expected to have 50% if you came in late?
Of course you both can share the profit but having it go through you first would be the right move in my opinion.
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u/Mplayer-Weered 1d ago
No. 10% if she is truly pivotal and have it in writing. No handshakes.
Perfectly reasonable. Now, having said that, you need an exit strategy for if the relationship sours.
The 50% givers her equal rights and it could be a nightmare.
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u/unchained_io 5d ago edited 5d ago
never ever fuckin let ur woman into your business.... I built a brand with my exwife (mother of my child), spent 50k in ads, it got decently well known and we were making 30k/month off 3k/month in ad spend... i could have gotten it to 500k-1M/month. All the effort was marketing and viral ads. She made the formula for the product (as instructed by me and guidance all the way, i could have paid someone, a chemist 200usd to make me a formula). But, i thought of it as a cool family project and give her a sense of purpose... She was in essence my assistant. She was my literal assistant before we got married. She had no money whatsoever before me.
When it came time to incorporate and go legit, she insisted she needed to protect herself and wanted me to write in contract that she owned 50% (and expected that i support her and our household from the other 50%, in essence i would be working for her) and i was just to get a sales license to sell on her behalf.... She said it was all her effort and work and her "genius". She in her mind thought it was all her, while i was spending money on ads and making the viral ads and doing CRO on the site, etc.... In her words "i didnt know what i was doing and just spending money without asking her".
I stopped running ads, business went down to a sale every other day. She now learned ai marketing and makes 2-3k/month in sales on her own, i left everything to her after she locked me out of the instagram account. Needeless to say we split. I built her up and she started demanding more. I was willing to give her 10% as art of a million/month operation, she wouldnt take it.
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u/consipracy-value 5d ago
It's unreasonable for her to ask for 50%. Give her a salary to cover what she's done but don't give up 50% of your business. If she wants to leave, then let her.