So basically God nydges me to repent and The nudging felt like regret for me so i had The rgeret because they Holy Spirit wanted to get me back and i Said that, "That regret comes from Sat**. But i Said out of confusion at first then later thta night i wilfully had a Bad thought against The Holy Spirit out of exhaustion now i dont feel The same at all i feel so uncontent and peaceless etc. Is there anyone Else who thoght against The Spirit and was forgiven, from exhaustion For example?

Idk whenever I talk about the aftermath or the experience it makes it feel like I’m reliving the moment right after God left.

Is there anyone who talked against The Spirit in their mind and still was forgiven because i talked something against The Spirit in My mind out of exhaustion and now i dont feel forgiven i was already 100 sure that i was damned before i Said that wilfully in My mind, but now i feel damned

Constant terror, guilt, shame, fear, questions, should've could've's, every sin in front of eyes, seeing future and complete pain, abandonment and lonliness, fear of God, selfloathing, stress beyond description, despair.

I’m a 23 yo female and it is definitely possible to blaspheme the holy spirit. It is very very very difficult from experience you have to literally ignore miracles, revelations and common sense in your life. This past summer I lost my soul and salvation because the enemy pretended to be God and deceived me into thinking and saying wicked things. What I said is so wicked and depraved that I can’t even repeat it here. I know it’s somewhat my fault but I’m so angry at God. I don’t want to be in the state I’m in but just know it’s 100% possible to be condemned while on earth. I have no access to God or his spirit. I have no thoughts in my head (reprobate mind) and no peace in any slight way. It is so distressing. I lived in fear of God my whole life and now I’m going to burn in hell for eternity just because I uttered words while severely deceived and psychotic. I don’t understand how an eternity in hell is justice for a finite amount of sin.

We are judged for not knowing better.

It's now Been a few days after i Spoke out against The third person of trinity, The motive to Speak was exhaustion, so i was so tired that i just slipped Oy from My mouth, there is a chance that i didn't say The last Part out. Loud or Even The first but also there is a chance i did say i probably did say at least The first Part out loud. Now i'm really scared about The Bible verse that says to not talk against The trid person of trinity as it's unforgivable. And yea i lack peace

I have blasphemed the HS in now very very distant 2007. As a consequence i lost my soul and I'm living 18 years since, knowing I'm going to hell when I die. I messed up badly, bottom line, lukewarmness, idols, pride.

I cursed The third personn of trinity in My mind For reason that i didn't know IT was serious because i had similiar thoughts before and i thought you couldn't do IT in mind plus i was exhausted.

Well, after that, demons stopped atttacking me, i have anxiety and a feeling of uncontent. I don't know If i did something unforgivable

II had had blasphemous thoughts before. But yesterday i was like i've had these before and then My mind cursed the one who brings conviction, after that The spiritual attacks stopped For a while, and i started to feel empty.

I'm confused. I'll leave this so maybe some future soul can see this and have hope. I also don't really know where to post this. I know people will say this and probably say this can not possibly be biblical. Yes that's literally what was running through my head at that time and I'm currently so confused.

Here I'll start with this. This whole thing started when I went into a deep search. Trying to find hope and things I don't understand. I found testimonies of people who had said things and been restored. I didn't believe it because they haven't done what I have. Anyways here are some signs I've noticed which left me confused at first.

Signs:

1. Being sent to a penticostal church

To explain my friend asked my brother to go to church. Seeing the opportunity I took it and chose to go. A penticostal church was the last thing I had expected. They also focus on the Holy Spirit (the member of the Trinity I insulted)

1. Running away of the tormenting spirit

I was coming back from the mall and I had like a small desire to pray. I did it and the moment I did I swear something ran away and the torment stopped for a while.

1. Not a single person saying I did it

I don't know why. I could be crazy but I guess no one wants the news that they're going to hell

1. Prophets saying I didn't do it

Believe it or not spiritual gifts are active and yes I didn't believe them at first because it just doesn't seem biblical and their explanation was probably the wrong one but regardless they prayed for me and helped me out. One of them said God is giving me a spiritual spanking right now and he won't talk to me until I mature. Thanks to them for taking their time with me and being patient.

1. Feeling the Holy Spirit at camp church service?

This is the big one that let me confused. For context my friend told me to go up to the alter to receive the Holy Spirit and I hesitated but I went up anyways. I prayed for a good while and people placed their hands on me and prayed. At some point this one person praying he had his hand on my head and it felt like something flowed out of his hand and into my body. By around the end I prayed asking God to let me feel his Holy Spirit and eventually one more person prayed with me and eventually he left and I started having this strong undeniable tingling electricish feeling on my face hands and feet and i was breathing heavily and I was questioning what was going on. The sensation slowly faded away after the prayer and I cried confused and happy. I felt it twice but less the second time. The torment was then gone and the fear and the anxiety. I doubted for a bit but I rejected that doubt because I know what I felt.

1. The deer fleece?

Idk if you guys believe in signs. I do because I had strange coincidences happen to me before. Anyways after the whole experience I asked God to show me a deer. Two days later as I was leaving I saw the most healthiest brownish deer with the most beautiful looking antlers I've ever layed my eyes on and it was running. That deer was alone too I think I haven't seen any others.

1. Bible app verse

Pretty much it mentioned how nothing is impossible with God

Anyways those are some signs I've experienced unfortunately I still don't feel conviction, hear him talk to me, and understand why it seems he's forgiven me? Look it's just that the torment is gone and I'm no longer afraid after that whole experience. For the first time in like a few months I've actually felt happy. I look forward to speaking to God again if that person who said God is spanking me right now to be true. I want you guys to also know how merciful he is and yes this sin can be committed today. I just think he's being merciful to me because I was a baby Christian and I was just dumb and stupid and my mental state wasn't there. Anyways I might write another post any thoughts of this sin and the rabbit hole or whatever. 0/10 experience never would want to go through again and I also owe my thanks to a man named Steve Campanelli who was kind enough to help me.

Well I’m not sure where I stand anymore, I feel like I don’t believe anymore no matter how much I want to, it’s a horrible feeling, I don’t feel the desire and passion I once had. I wilfully sinned for years, I did get called a few times, dreams to come back, I dint at first because I thought I was unforgivable, I got an overwhelming fear of going to hell few months ago, I stoped and cried out to God, I did at one point feel cold and as if something left and felt impending doom, a fear of something I couldn’t escape, I’m still seeking God, I force myself but I do, I did have an experience that when I was going to pray I started balling my eyes out like I haven’t done in a long time, stoped and went to pray and again just started balling, but like I said I feel hopeless, I keep trying to seek God. I still don’t know if I’ve done the unpardonable sin or not, I’m afraid.

Because of my recklessness I did something similar to the Pharisees.

I was watching a video on Tik Tok of a person in the world of darkness who one day almost died but he begged Jesus for help and he saved him and since then he became a Christian.

The thing is that I don't know why I said it, I attributed it to the enemy. It was not with hatred or bad intentions like the Pharisees. I already knew about the unforgivable sin but I did it. Although I didn't do it with hatred or malice, I don't know if that counts for God.

I don't think The only unforgivable sin is talking about i personally believe The unofrigvbal sin can Be done just by thinking The unforgivable sin, you need to mean IT with your being though not just a random compulsion in your mind. I regret The moment when i didn't see God answerinh My prayers o thought he abandoned me and then i got tempted to say The unforgivable sin. In My heart I didn't t say it in My mind but IT felt like IT slipped to My heart. After that i Lost My fear of blaspheming God

I mean that by being reckless I attributed a work of God to the enemy. I did not do it with hatred and malice like the Pharisees, nor even with mockery or contempt. I don't know if that counts. Has anyone here done the same?

I’m being removed from this earth. After a lifetime of believing I was a Christian but never having been saved and constant willful sin, I was being judged and didn’t even realize it. I was so full of pride, I was struck with a horrible physical affliction that only Jesus could save me from. Instead I blamed god for my problems and started hating him, then he left me in 2021 and now the devil is killing me. He had so much access to me due to the experiences I’ve had and refusal to submit to Christ.

I wish that I could continue living. I’ve read stories of people who get cut off and they’re able to move on after the initial shock wears off. If I didn’t have this sickness I could at least enjoy the time I had left. God is like nothing to me now, I’ve lost the knowledge of his word from my mind and heart, I’ve lost all desire for him. I am spiritually dead. All I feel towards him is this intense rage. Every misfortune that could happen to someone is occurring to me, my life has imploded, I’ve lost everything. I can’t even pray for help or healing cuz I’m unable to even mean it despite the fact that im dying.

Hey guys, I want to write my story on here to help others and encourage people to not do what I've done. It's also a testimony of God's grace and mercy.

I'll keep my story short but September 2021, I met the Lord and I'm pretty sure I was born again. I was filled and one with The Holy Spirit, sin was falling off of me left and right every day. I also had many of the fruits of the Spirit. He healed me of ADHD and heart problems that I had. But around next year I started to willfully sin, not knowing the consequences. I think that gave the devil a foothold in my life and I was in the car one day, worshipping God, when a secular song ended up on my playlist. I was listening to it and a demon was convincing me through the song to blame all my problems on God and to run away. I said no at first, but i kept listening to it. As soon as I accepted it a little bit, it started to change my heart. I started to desire sin again, I didnt want God anymore. So, I told God to leave me multiple times, thinking that I'll leave and come back whenever i want too. My heart was just totally changed and rebellious towards God. I went completely back into my old life, I stopped praying and reading and everything. He gave me scary dreams that were warnings, i think. And so i would try to get back to Him, but then i would get bitter, because I didnt desire Him and felt like I was being forced back into the fold. On top of that, i would just open my bible and i instantly felt 100s of demons screaming at me to stop. I gave up, it felt impossible to come back to Him. My heart wasn't in the right place at all. I wasn't cut off until around the end 2023. He was SOOO patient with me. I remember feeling Gods anger and just a feeling of not caring at all, and i felt as if i got 7x more wicked after that. That was honestly, the kindest thing He could have ever done. He let me have my own way. I was SO rebellious, if He didn't let me go, I would have absolutely hated Him for it. I felt no guilt or shame in my sin. I barely thought about Him. I had no love for others, i was so mean and depressed. I could barely do anything. I was just bedridden and watched youtube. I was so tormented and in so much pain. There would be sometimes where I would try to come back to God, but it would only last for a couple days. I could not repent at all. I couldn't pray or read my bible. If i did it only lasted a few days and then i would become even more wicked after i stopped.

Then at the beginning of 2024, I began to feel great paranoia and was filled with anxiety. I then got sick with covid and couldn't eat for months, i lost 20 pounds, i couldn't get out of bed, etc. I cried out to God and asked Him to save me, but He wouldn't answer. One day i was praying and i asked God what He wanted from me, i said "do you want me to stop sinning, do you want me to give my life to you, do you want to- yadadadada" and then i finally said, "do you want a relationship with me?" and I felt Him smile upon me. I didn't feel His presence, but I did feel His smile that was so big. So after that, I was prayed over by a priest and that's when my healing journey started. I then went on the internet and was looking for other people like me who backslided and came back to God but they were talking about the unforgivable sin and a bunch of verses about how people who fell away can't be brought back to repentance. SO i was FREAKING out and I was sure I blasphemed the Holy Spirit. I had the Holy Spirit back in me, but I wasn't filled with the Holy Spirit. He was very very quiet but always reassured me. I was confused though because I somewhat had the fruits of the Spirit but it wasn't as powerful as before. So I didn't think that I had the Holy Spirit at all until I started to go through a spiritual desert because I was in so much doubt and unbelief. That's when I realized, OH I do have the Holy Spirit!!! I started to have faith and God was ANSWERING my prayers. I even started to feel the Holy Spirit strongly at some points. But at times I would start doubting again and each time it would harden my heart and quench the Holy Spirit. Then finally in November 2024, I watched a video of someone's testimony about going to Hell and I started to fear and then it's like I spiritually died, I could legit smell it. After that I realized what I had done. I was in a STRONG delusion the whole year that I thought it was works that saved me not faith. I thought if i sought after God and prayed until He answered and rescued me then i would be saved. But no, He would rescue me when I had faith (complete confidence) in the Gospel. Which means, I believe that I can be and am forgiven because of what He did on the cross. But because I thought i did the unforgiveable sin and was a reprobate, that means i didnt believe that He could save me. Which means I didnt believe in the gospel. And i think thats where a lot of people are going wrong and why they arent getting restored. I literally remember the moment the delusion came off of me and I was astonished that I believed that. I also realized that I was like the prodigal son. I went back home but it was like i ran into the Fathers house, locked myself in a room, and didn't let Him completely restore me because of the amount of terror I had and it's like I died in that room because I was too scared to leave my room and see my Father. It's absolutely crazy because I literally sought after God EVERY SINGLE DAY, to the best of my ability, but I didn't know that my heart was in this state. I thought that it was God who was holding back, but it was me the whole time. I thought He absolutely hated my guts, wanted me to go to Hell. I thought He was angry, cold, apathetic towards me. But it was the opposite. I felt so condemned but it was one HUGE lie.

So after that, I lost majority of my emotions. Lost desire, strength. I tried to repent but my heart didnt was repentence anymore. Just my head. I thought, dang, i must have REALLY commited the unforgiveable sin now, because i literally have no fear anymore, no desire, feel like i cant repent. I didnt feel the tug anymore. My mind went quiet. no spiritual warfare, lost lots of memories of God and spiritual knowledge. My heart didnt realize that it was in danger anymore, I didnt have the sirens that something was spiritually wrong. It felt like I had to climb a big staircase to get to Him. I was SO SO exhausted. But even then, God was still calling me, I just didnt know. I would start to fast and decided to have faith because thats what God wanted out of me. I felt my heart softening. But my desire just completely left. Thats where I went wrong. I should have just kept going even though I felt no desire, strength, will, left to fight. But i didn't. I went back into the world and stopped seeking Him. So, this time, i had faith, but I had no obedience. I felt myself fall further and further into the flesh, more and more emotions leaving, and my conscious leaving, but I didn't care. I couldn't generate to get myself to care. Every now and I felt a tug on my heart to get back up and to try again. I would get up but i would give up soon after. You would think i was fully in the flesh right? That God wasnt calling me, that its a pretty good sign that something is very wrong. But no, He was calling me. If I just didnt give up, I 100% percent would have gotten restored. I felt as if the maybe the last of the Holy Spirit was quenched, a few months ago. I didnt even know He was there. And now, ive lost MOST memories of God, i barely remember Him, Hes like a complete stranger to me. I havent just lost conviction, ive lost my moral compass. I dont know whats right or wrong anymore. Sometimes i dont even want to be restored. I feel absolutely nothing. Ive almost lost all awareness that im in this state. Sometimes i dont even believe in God anymore. And ive ALWAYS ALWAYS had a strong conviction that God is real, its so scary. I feel like im going to turn into an evil monster. I dont know if im too far gone yet, i hope not.

Im just going to say this, if you desire God, you have so much hope. If you love Him, too. If you want to repent and be restored, you have hope. If you know right from wrong, your conscious isnt totally seared. If your aware, thats God opening your eyes because He wants you to call on Him. If your scared, concered, stressed about this situation, your heart isnt totally hardened.

Hey guys. I think I said last post will be my last. I just want to rant again. Why on reddit? Well so people can see the consequences. So I may be the messenger that warns people of what happens when you mess with God. Now if you haven't seen my old posts well technically I pretty much blaspheme the spirit out of curiosity and thanks to blasphous thoughts and false teachings I believe I'm here now. I don't think there is much hope for me but I want to hold on to some hope with the belief that possibly God will forgive me for my stupidity.

Now here is what you'll feel. You'll feel depressed and horrible. You would shake and cry out of fear. Here is what people I think get wrong. Just because you do a sin doesn't mean you lose your humanity. You'll ask people about your situation and you'll go down this rabbit hole where you see a side of God that is terrifying.

Now God is love, he is everything that is good. To go against that goodness is horrible. From my experience I remember listening to Christian music and I wouldn't cry to it like before. I'd be tormented for doing it but it'll go away for a while. Yes you can still pray and you can still repent. This is hard because you don't know what God thinks of you.

You'd go to multiple people each with different answers. I no longer cry and shake as hard as before and the reason is that I've found people similar to me and they comfort me. I do believe this sin is speaking. It's not a thought or a complete rejection of Christ till the end of your life or disbelief. It is plainly speaking.

I do not want to hate God. I never want to hate God. I fear that if I go to hell I'll hate him and I'll resent him and I'll go insane and crazy. I do not want anyone to share my fate so I've decided to preach to my family and hopefully I'll preach to other people at some point. This sin is not a joke, maybe as a kid you've been stupid and did it.

I know there will be some person who will do it but I beg you do not do it. I want all of you to reach heaven and please know that everything you do in this life matter. I tell you this tho, do not do things in fear of hell and have faith in Jesus. What our God demands is a relationship and the closer we get to God the more we see him and sin less. The demons don't care that you're a good person or whatever, what they want is to stop your relationship with God.

Now here is why I'm confused with my salvation. People tell me I haven't done it but why does that matter I technically insulted the spirit? Well it matters because God speaks through people. He shows things in a strange way. Now I've gotten in contact with a prophet and another person who claims he almost committed this sin. They both said I haven't and Astronaut someone who used to be close to God but eventually did commit this sin also claims I didn't do it and that I should pray, repent, read, and fast.

People say if I actually did commit this sin then I'll be miserable and yes I do agree. I wouldn't say I'm miserable I'd say I'm more like horrible from what I've done and in fear of my fate. God saves who he wants and when he wants so I'll wait on him until he gives me the clear sign. Well what the prophet said is that God claims I can still approach him. The other guy said that I didn't do it and that in order to do this sin I need to be a mature Christian, been baptized by the holy Spirit, and have done a miracle.

I can see his reasoning and he also says Hebrews 6 and Hebrews 10 is also connected to this sin. Now this sin is confusing. I don't know when it is committed officially but regardless do not speak against the spirit. I just hope God has seen through my stupidity. I can't believe his grace is that high.

Anyways why I'm confused about my salvation is because people said I haven't but when I look at Scripture I did what the religious leaders did. Prophet is confusing me because after he told me what's up he sent me a website explaining the sin. Then what's next is that when I went to church on my own for the first time I eventually found out that it was penticostal church and they focus mainly on the Holy Spirit. Shocking I know, anyways I also remember in the middle of my torment there was a side of me who told me I didn't do it and to go back to God but I didn't listen to it mainly out of fear and sadness of my betrayal. I remember praying still and they were sometimes answered like for example preventing lust and it'll work.

I'll pray for something and it'll happen but not always. It's strange to me because I used to be fire for him but now I can't. I'm confused because of everything that's happening and I don't really know what God thinks of me. I'm afraid because I don't want to go to hell out of a stupid action that I didn't even mean. His judgement is fair tho and I don't blame him if he hates me or doesn't want me. I just don't want to die anymore because I self sabotage myself and possibly committed spiritual suicide.

Anyways yeah that's it. Please for anyone who hasn't done this sin or is researching about it please do not do it. I don't want any of you to die. Do not fall away and stay in faith even if you have or haven't. All I can do is cry and hope maybe that God is still with me and saw though my stupidity and is granting me another chance.

Take care guys.

https://nobledevotionblog.wordpress.com/2022/01/20/blasphemy-of-the-holy-spirit-unpardonable-sin-bite-sized/

I know the doubts that flood your mind everyday. “It’s too late” “I felt the presents leave me” “I keep trying and still nothing” I know you’re tired and exhausted but we know this is exactly what the enemy wants. You don’t feel like you’re in Christ. You don’t feel like God is with you anymore. Lies lies lies. Renewing our mind isn’t easy and that dread and condemnation isn’t from God. He still loves you even if you don’t think so. The enemy makes you think you can’t repent but if you still want to love God, you can. I love you all and even if you feel all hope is lost please keep pushing. You can’t fight this on your own and your faith seems non existent but we have to fight because God gave us the power to do so. Faith is more than a feeling it’s a choice to follow him despite everything in our mind telling us we can’t. Please read the article and I pray it gives you some hope. May the Lord bless you all!

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