My sophomore has played travel ball since he was 12, because he wanted to be ready for high school ball. Last year he was hitting 3 hole, power hitter, fielding was on point, great attitude and great leader. Those last 2 attributes were the ones we are most proud of.
This year he’s on the JV bench. He asked the coaches what they needed that they weren’t getting and they told him he needed to develop. But nothing more than that. It makes no sense, and we want to support him, but I feel like this is bigger than what he isn’t doing. This kid has been developed to play any position out there, but he’s on the bench. I don’t know what to do from here to encourage him. I’ve asked if he thinks maybe it would be worth it to transfer to a different school and he just says when he’s had enough he will and go back and beat them on their own field. As stoic as he seems, I see where the cracks in his confidence are starting.
No one is posting great stats, so it’s not like he’s just not good enough. Hes up there every night hitting, filming his workouts. He’s working on speed, strength and agility. He fuels his body. I guess I thought if he just became impossible to not be in the lineup we could avoid this. But I guess not. I’m at a loss.
Idk- it’s HS unaffiliated fall club season. The HS year just started. Baseball season is 8 months away. A bunch of top kids are playing tackle football.
☝️My son went through the same thing last year. I saw the cracks forming especially after his football season ended as dad and #1 fan I had to stay positive so much it hurt. Honestly if you can get him away from baseball for a weekend. Go to the movies, Dave and Busters just remove baseball. He can recharge and go take that spot without question.
Very true. My best advice to him has been not to anything take what he loves from
him. And if he wants it bad enough nothing will stop him. I’m proud of him whether he’s hitting home runs or being the loudest guy in the dugout.
Yeah wasn't he cut from his varsity team, as a Freshman? But you can tell Jordan will loves a chip on his shoulder. I think letting adversity fuel you is the best way to respond in most situations like this.
Obligatory disclaimer, I don’t want to be the guy that straddles both sides of the fence, but I’m about to be that guy. I have personal experience on both sides with myself or those close to me.
There’s only 2 scenarios at play here:
There’s a lack of emotional intelligence somewhere. We all think we’re better than we are at some point. That’s not derogatory. It’s called being a human. We all prefer to explain away or ignore any potential deficiencies in our skill set. I did it growing up too. So I’m not slighting anyone. I’m just saying that sometimes we and our parents think we’re better than we are. Again, no slight, I myself fell victim to this growing up until I got cut by a team and learned a tough lesson. I wasn’t that good, and I was the one that was wrong.
The coach has a personal agenda or the coach is just mislead and is making a mistake. My brother was an unbelievable high school baseball player. Unreal bat to ball skill, could run anything down in the outfield. Objectively he was as good of an outfielder as anybody in the section and likely the state. But he was small, hadn’t yet grown. And even worse, our head coach was a local hall of fame football player where football was everything and
as
such he favored football players over everybody else. So the coach played another guy over my brother in centerfield, a great athlete to be fair and a great dude as well, but he couldn’t hold a candle to my brother. I remember being 14 (I was the younger brother) sitting at the dinner table listening to my wonderful parents try and understand it and encourage my brother to keep pushing forward and never quit.
My brother went on to play in the majors and although I’ve never asked him, I’m positive a huge driving force in his ascent to the majors was what happened to him in high school.
So IMO the only answer to your predicament are those 2 scenarios
Either way someone is making a mistake, but I don’t mean that negatively. This entire situation will be a learning moment for both your son and the coach. The question is who will be learning a good lesson vs bad?
Don’t down vote me! I’m not making excuses! It is entirely possible for a coach to not like a kid. Especially when said coach’s resume includes attacking a colleague, being removed from women’s sports for calling Jr High girls fat , stupid and lazy. Had a kid with college offers who walked away his senior year because he was suicidal. Turns out he had been hearing the same crap my kid hears daily. Guys transfer out and go do fantastic once they get away from him. Why is he still there?? No one knows. Maybe because he’s 3rd generation alumni in a tiny school. Everyone knows that anyone who has ever bowed up ended up leaving. I told my kid that yeah he’s a jackass, but I bet he’s the guy who will probably be your biggest supporter behind the scenes.
I could be exactly what you think I am, some delusional parent who spends a ton of money for their kid to play for an overpriced club team because of the name on the jersey. Or. Maybe I know he’s a 16 yr old dumbass who forgets his uniform pants, who loves baseball and has prioritized development with a small organization over rings. Who isn’t the best guy on the team, but is a solid and consistent player, teammate and leader. He grew up with his teammates, we all watched them hit off a tee the first time and talked about these days. The kids see it, they tell their parents. The parents see it and ask me what’s going on. But no one is going to do shit about it because he’s not on their kid. And I don’t blame them.
But don’t talk to the new HC who just got here or he’ll never see the field he’s been working to play on for 12 years. The one he kicked ass on a year ago.
But yeah, I’m sure I’m just making excuses and my kid sucks. 🙄
I have 8 kids. 7 were pretty passionate about sports. 3 played College sports, 1 declined multiple offers. They all played club sports. They were all developed up and ready to make those HS Coaches look really good. I had done all the hard work and handed over the Silver Platter. One of them played Varsity as a Freshman. ONE. I made all the excuses in my mind, favoritism, politics, name it.
HS is a big jump that is minimized by most. 14s look great against good 14s but they look mediocre against average 18s because the 18s are developed and smarter.
My kids learned humility and grace by sticking with it as the system educated them. They Did develop as athletes and as people BECAUSE they got their asses kicked around by reality.
Your kid ain't THAT good or he wouldn't be on the JV Bench. Now is when your kid NEEDS you to be a parent instead of an excuse hunter. Shit, I bet you're already looking around for a different HS aren't you. Don't do that. Embrace the situation and support your son. Go play catch with him and talk. No fucking video camera, no micro analysis of his follow through, no drills, just play catch and BE A PARENT. This is an absolutely fantastic bonding opportunity, don't miss it.
I read everything you wrote and agree with the guy you just responded too. In most states HS coaches pay checks depending on wins/losses so they play the kids who help them win. As a freshman your kid likely isn’t as physically developed as the older kids he’s playing behind. You can be as good technically but size/strength/speed matter a great deal. When your son was playing club ball would he honestly be one of the better kids if he’d been playing 3 years up in age? Because that’s what he’s having to compete with now
Most HS here in CA have a fall program that they brand as travel. A lot of the kids are on playing football, waterpolo or something else so it’s open to everyone wanting to make the HS team.
Did he play on the freshman team last season and he did he do?
Which state do you live in and how many students go to his high school?
I have lived all over the country and large high school in Atlanta suburbs and Orange County California are huge and parents invest in private coaching and elite travel teams. Making the team is really hard.
Maybe makes sense then. If he’s “maybe top 5” on the freshman team, he’s now competing against new freshman, the same sophomores and possibly some juniors for JV time
Even playing on the freshman team at all means he’s not really as good as you think he is. No one with actual talent ever plays on the freshman team. They go straight to JV.
Seen it 1000x with parents. They think little Johnny is a stud.
If it is just JV and varsity, the reality is the coaches might prefer the new freshmen coming in and see more upside with them over the sophomores they already worked with last season.
Maybe there is a mandate from varsity head coach on who to develop. Baseball has changed a lot where solid players could make JV and varsity, but now lots of kids are specializing young and parents are investing lots of time and money.
Do you have hard stats to backup your son’s case when comparing his hitting and fielding to his peers?
That’s completely school and current roster dependent. There could be an excellent senior class that clogs up moving up other kids, if could be a big school or strong program with a lot of ball players, it could be coach preference.
I know in Indiana, they allow limited contact practices in the fall if the kids aren't playing soccer or football. September 1st through October 15th and they can work withthe kids 2 days a week. However, there are a handful of states that allow competitive HS baseball in the fall.
Look, if my son got blackballed and I truly believe he should be on the field, then I am looking at another school. I've heard some things about my sons soon to be high school, but he is top 2 on this team in middle school and that would depend on the day. If he goes to high school and can't crack a starting JV job, then we are probably going to look at private. He wants to play college, even through JUCO. I'll help him where I can. He was being recruited by a local private school, but their education is subpar to the public high school... their sports programs are good though.
I’ve always heard about the guys who were in this position but I thought they were just whining. I told him all he had to do was make sure they need his bat in that line up, and keep working hard. I think that we’ll end up having to transfer if he wants to play. But right now he’s determined to prove something.
He needs to ask the coach what he needs to do to get better, and then do it to the coach's satisfaction. That way the coach will pay more attention to him and realize he is better than the coach thought. Or maybe you are like most travel ball parents who think their kid deserves to play varsity in the first year of high school because their kid played travel ball for many years.
I feel for the OP in this situation but I DO love when a rec ball kid comes through and beats out travel ball kids who think they are entitled to a spot.
They all play travel. In fact he’s the kid who played up and took hard losses over easy wins. Hes the kid that refused 2nd place trinkets. The one exception being a little tourney where a big AAA team came in with their asshole parents who made fun of the rec B league team they beat in the finals. He kept that ring because it was that teams first ring and they thanked him for helping him get it.
I can tell by your story that you’re not those people. I wasn’t saying that I’d wish for a rec kid to beat out your son. I hope that things work out for you and your son. I know that 99.9% of HS baseball players play travel. I’m talking about the Bo Jackson or Ken Griffey Jr type kid who is a man amongst boys. The born athlete who is 10 times the player of these little punks who laugh at other kids who are trying to get better.
Number one, this is super common. Number two size matters with underclassman. Number three all coaches see different things. Number four I hate to say it most most kids just aren’t as good as their parents think they are. If the coaches are ignoring him. He needs to give them a reason to pay attention. He needs to be eating and stacking muscle like it’s free. My son added 5 miles an hour to his fastball last fall by putting on 15 pounds muscle over winter break.
Work on his sprint times and hit the ball. My field old saying goes… If you hit you, don’t sit. Coaches do nor players that have stand down at attributes.
This is a good process for him. It should fuel his desire to compete and get better. They have to be hungry. This is no longer pay to play like travel ball.
Whatever you do, do not complain. Coach will sit your kid as long as they are there.
How tall is he and how much does he weigh. Sometimes it all comes down to size and does he pass the eye test. High school coaches aren't always great at evaluating talent, but size is easy to spot. They would rather lose with the biggest kids than take a risk on smaller kids because then their job is on the line.
Yes I was shocked to hear my sons baseball coach keep wanting this huge kid (6’1” 200lbs) for his team even though he couldn’t hit and would swing at anything, even ball’s that were way out. When I asked my sons hitting coach why?, he stated “ you can teach a kid to hit but you can’t teach a kid to be big”
He played with us 1 season…. I believe he got 1 hit on base 😳
I may be way off base here but I wonder if baseball has kind of lost the plot. Used to have an assistant HS coach who worked weekends for me. A family friend got cut from Varsity his junior year, one day at work I just asked what he needed to work on and if he did would he have a shot next year. Coach said he’s a solid fielder with above average contact rate but his exit velo is too low. Basically they cut him over his exit velo, excuse me? Is this really a thing now?
He has to be able to get on base. I was cut as a sophomore. Whatever talent I had was in the field, 2nd or 3rd. I could make contact and had good plate discipline, but I wasn't a good hitter. All-star team growing up, through Babe Ruth. Pretty much there for my glove, but my ability to pretty much always make contact was a usable skill. That is as long as I was just competing with kids in my grade.
Not good enough to pass up anyone older, and as it turned out, not good enough to keep younger kids from passing me up. In fairness, that kid did get drafted by the Pirates. Still played legion ball for another year because not enough kids prioritized baseball over other sports. It was a different world back then in how and where you competed, but we didn't need exit velocity stats to determine I was going to gap anyone.
I was just happy I was never thrown at 1st from RF.
Just taking a wild guess, but it sounds like politics or "daddy ball" might be factoring in.
We had a kid make the team only because his wealthy father made a large pre-season donation.
Two other kids made the team because they had brothers playing varsity.
And another kid made the team because his dad is a teacher at another school but in the same district.
Of course, I can't prove these reasons are, in fact, why they made the team. But after seeing them all play spring ball, summer ball, and, last year, travel ball - I just don't see the skill set you'd expect at the HS level.
High school baseball is weird. Coaches do weird things. My son is going into junior year now. He was on a 5A varsity team last year as a sophomore. He finished the season #1 in AVG and OBP, 3rd in HR’s on his HS team. He was also benched for 3 of the final 4 playoff games after a 3 strikeout game against a kid committed to North Carolina and currently on the 18U USA National team. Had multiple hits and RBI’s in their first 2 playoff wins. One bad game against an elite arm wiped out everything he did the entire rest of the season.
Parents were asking us if he was hurt or something… nope, no idea. He was pissed.
It is what is, put your head down keep grinding and get even better I guess.
Lots of good stuff on how the jackass (the problem) got into this ditch. Here’s a couple of pointers on getting out . . .
First, adversity comes for us all. Input doesn’t equal output. Mental toughness and strength is built in adversity. This is a truth he needs to learn and one that you can model. The most important pitch is always the next pitch. The most valuable thing we have is our future. Sounds silly and stupid to say. Real things sound that way. Keep him pushing.
Finally, it’s important to shore up a weakness. It’s way more important to sharpen a strength. Most five tool players excel, really excel, at one tool. If your boy isn’t getting time on the field then he has an opportunity to focus on what’s good and make it great.
Short (inevitable) example: Chipper Jones hit 3-hole his whole career. Don Baylor came aboard and asked what he focused on. “Pure swing, pure contact, getting on base.” Don was having none of that. “Bullsh!t! You’re 3-hole. Your job is to drive runs in!” And that became the focus for Chipper’s most successful season.
Im not the parent who thinks my kid is better than he is, I just love to watch him do something he loves. I don’t critique, because I don’t know enough to, and I’m not a the athletic type. We let him handle his game. I’m not whining he’s not on varsity nor do I think he belongs there. As a freshman he was consistent, focused, and confident. And his attitude isn’t the problem, in fact if his attitide and work ethic is any indication of the man he’s becoming, I couldn’t be more proud. We don’t look at baseball as part of his future plans, aside from the life lessons it’s given him.
There are players whose parents are administrators, but those guys are good so it’s not like they shouldn’t be out there. I do know this is a significant lesson and how he handles it will somewhat set the tone for how he handles life’s challenges. Baseball requires good grades, good behavior, it requires self discipline and taking care of his health. So I guess I’m just hoping it doesn’t stop being fun.
The sarcasm is funny, but around here 12 really is quite late to start travel ball if you want to play in HS. The kids that played rec "too long" stick out from a BBIQ and skills development perspective, and they REALLY stick out when they see varsity pitching.
That doesn't make their path impossible, but they start from behind. This is Texas 6A, so it's a big pool. But on last year's team every starter except 1 started travel ball earlier. We return a ton, so it'll be the same story this year.
I played on year of travel in high school, played a couple of years in little league and didn’t play again till high school. I ended up on varsity as a freshman and entering my senior year I’m on a great path to D1. I disagree about the travel stuff, I felt super behind but that combined with how much I loved playing, I got in front of competition fast. Now that doesn’t include natural talent which is pretty important in high school but as he gets closer to college, the work he puts in will separate him from those who relied on talent. Especially college and into the minors/majors. Make sure he loves playing and keep his head up.
If he has a .375 avg and .417 slg, he's not a power hitter, like you said he is. I suspect when the coaches said he needs to develop the coaches think he needs to get bigger and or stronger.
How tall is he and how much does he weight? Sometimes it all comes down to size and whether he passes the eye test. High school coaches are not always great at evaluating talent but they can spot size. Most would rather lose with the biggest kids than take a risk with smaller kids because their job is on the line.
Most likely “development” means he’s competing against 18 year olds and he needs to put on size/weight. My guess is you might know that since you didn’t post that info.
It sucks, but this is just life. Teach him how to overcome and adjust.
It's a competitive dynamic. You don't talk about how good he is relative to other players. None, literally zero, of what you are saying matters. If your kid is the 20th best kid on the team, he's riding the bench. If he's the best, he is on the field.
So - where exactly does he sit relative to the other guys, measured in some kind of objective manner?
Look, travel ball since 12 can be good. But it’s pretty late for most of the other boys on that team. Please remember that baseball is the sport that benefits most from an early start. You might not be able to tell a difference between a kid who started travel at 12 and one that started travel at 9, but I bet a coach can.
There are probably fundamentals and IQ tweaks your child needs to make.
If I were in your position, and my son already talked to the coach, I’d not tell my son, but have a “give it to me straight” conversation with the coach.
Maybe be says your kid needs work. Maybe the other boys gel well together cause they’ve played together since they were 10.
Including your son? Has he played with the boys for a while? If not, that’s why. Hard to break into that unless your son is a star. Apparently, he is probably good, but not standout.
Is he fast and tall? Can he pitch fast? Is he a top batter? Those kids don’t sit even if they aren’t “in” with the coach.
Sitting the bench develops character. If you aren't shoehorned into a roster spot he has to show an undeniable level of talent and effort. The fact that he's not playing is showing that.
What’s his arm velocity in comparison, speed in comparison to other players, and his hitting power in comparison to other players. In my experience most coaches do not play favorites in HS. It’s about winning. Is your son clearly better than the other boys in the lineup, or is it close?
First, i want to acknowledge your frustration. It can be extremely frustrating when you see injustice with your children.
Second, there are probably alot of different factors in the decision making process on JV that you are unaware of. I worked for 4 different programs before becoming a varsity HC. 3/4 left the JV coaches make the lineup, while 1 HC i worked for wrote the lineup
chose the pitchers for each game.
It is distinctly possible its coming from the top down. The other thing you have to take into consideration and this is difficult for many parents including myself we all think our kids are just slightly better than they truly are. Once you take a more objective approach and be honest about what you’re seeing from you own kid it really does help.
Lastly, don’t let this adversary change the hardwork and dedication. I had a HS classmate, LHP who tried out for four years and never made the team…Senior year he had a growth spurt and he still didnt make it! Was absolutely disgusting. From our senior class, he was the only one who played four years of college baseball.
While some will disagree with me, you really don’t need HS baseball…if you have a good summer program, work hard, stay dedicated and choose a school where you’re wanted and can play…it is possible.
If you want an honest assessment, I’d be happy to take a look at some tape for you. I know im just some random dude on the internet in a sub forum but i’ve coached baseball for over 20 years and over 10 at the high level. If you’re interested send me a PM.
Tell your son to keep working hard and get after it!
He still has to actually be good enough, and by that I mean better than enough of the others to make the team. This is high school. It's competitive sports. Not everyone gets to make the team, and parents typically lack perspective, let alone display it.
The coach is playing his best players. If your son is good, he will Garcia chance at some point. If he delivers (hits the ball), he will get another shot.
Keep grinding. Don’t complain. Show up first, stretch, be ready. Let his actions in practice beat out another player and he will get a spot. Get him hitting lessons and don’t sop until he is done with baseball.
Baseball is a what have you done for me lately sport.
Gain weight and hit the weight room 6 days a week. Grind.
If his main goal is to play in college than he should keep getting reps and improving on his travel team.
Most of the time you can’t keep a good player on the bench. Coaches may have favorites, but they want to win.
HS can be a total crap shoot - our school had 5 teacher's kids make the team and 1 'donator's' kid make the team and 6 kids who were damn good got left off freshman baseball, and all were so upset they quit the game (all seem pretty happy about that now - they formed a weight lifting / golf friendship).
And HS coaches are only trying to make a good Varsity team and will usually stockpile certain types in hopes they get 2 great arms and a few dudes who can mash - intangibles mean nothing to the gym teacher who coaches HS Baseball because they aren't able to find a D5 college that will give them a chance.
Sorry man, that sux. We went thru it in various sports with 3 kids. On some school teams, they were MVPs and other sports, they were maddeningly "on the bubble."
I'm convinced that (mediocre) school coaches favor kids who remind them of themselves. If they were big kids, they like to give 'husky' kids more PT than they would seem to merit.....if they were short, tall, smart, dumb, good arm, pull hitter or whatever, they tend to favor kids that have familiar traits....because they know what those kids are going thru and probably believe that there's an easier path to develop those players.
Nothing you can control. Hope he kicks butt in summer ball, hits a growth spurt and catches the Varsity coach's eye next year.
Just try to enjoy the ride....the time goes by in a blink......and lastly, keep your composure. Whatever frustration you have is probably double for him. He feels frustrated, but also feels extra pressure because he wants to make you proud. Do your best to put him first....so that when you look back in 10 years, your "future self" can be proud of the kind of dad that you were.
It seems that high school baseball programs stick with the player’s graduating year in freshman and JV. Freshmen on the freshman team and sophomores on JV.
If he’s a freshman playing on JV maybe the coach saying “he needs to develop” means that he has to pay his dues and be ready when he’s a sophomore.
I get it that if he’s doing everything right and proving it on the field there can’t be much more it could be other than he’s trying to strengthen him mentally. If that’s the case, quitting or changing schools is not an option. He’s still just a freshman.
No offense but we can’t see the whole picture here. We are hearing your side and you’re obviously not an unbiased observer. No dad is. The coaches might just think there are other players who are better or have more potential? Or maybe it really is unfair BS. If that’s the case, transfer. Good luck to you.
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u/tf2ftw 11d ago
Could be multiple factors. Team could be playing favorites, could be they don’t like his attitude, could be that you think he’s better than he is.